To not want my friend to 'borrow' books without asking

[readinginbed]

Here's the situation. My friend and I swap childcare once a week with each other. She comes to my house to look after her kids and mine as it's easier for nursery pick up etc. Last time she took a book from the bottom of a pile of papers on my desk, in my bedroom, whose door I had closed deliberately to mark out some privacy! AIBU to think this is disrespectful and overstepping boundaries?

YADNBU - that would seriously piss me off.

Ooh YANBU

Has she just been wandering round your house looking at all your stuff?

yanbu, maybe you should say something

yes perhaps i should say, please don't open the bedroom door. Thing is, i'm starting to feel really awful and materialistic because she leaves a lot of teh children's toys outside in the garden - she doesn't bring them in or even tidy up the mess that the kids have made that day. When she arrives i make sure all the toys are tidy and accessible etc, but when I come home often the jigsaws are all over the place, toys been stepped on, telly had milk spilt on it etc. She is a very sweet person and I think she doesn't think that possessions matter very much so I feel really mean minding that she doesn't take care of my kids' toys when she's here. Most times I come home some toy has been broken because she just leaves them on the floor to be walked over.

You really should say something to her,she is taking advantage and stealing imo.

You could always leave a couple of slightly damp bondage mags on the floor in the bedroom to put her off coming in there?

YANBU

She's taking the piss.
Can you change arrangements so that she goes to her home and not yours.
I don't see why she should always go to your home regardless of it being more convenient.

You definately have to say something to her. Especially if your possessions ae being damaged.

Felt a bit awful when I read the title... I have borrowed books from a friend in the past when cat sitting. I told her when she got back though, and the books were from her book case. If you're reading this and you know who you are, I'm sorry!

But in your case, YADNBU, she shouldn't be in your room, and certainly not taking things from in there. I'd hope (in her defence) that perhaps the kids had gone in there and she'd had to get them out. For example I had to root my friends cat from under her bed when catsitting to ensure she was live and well. Could you lock your room in case the kids get in there.

The borrowing the book thing,I wouldn't mind at all,its the going into the bedroom bit which I wouldn't like.Of course it is possible she had to go in there to retrieve one of the kids?