to not want grandparents to constantly put their fingers in my son's mouth so he can gum them?

[ndavy]

My in-laws spent all weekend doing this to my son so he could gum their fingers. The day after they left he had a bit of an upset tummy (although the two may not be related). I find it quite revolting and have asked my husband to ask them not to do it if we see them doing it again. He's agreed so I don't think he thinks I'm being unreasonble but I wanted to see what others thought. Also, I'm worried about offending them, but should my feelings on this be more important?!

Thanks!

Yeah but they can't always get the filth out from under their finger nails can they? Yuck yuck yuck. Another one of those generational differences.

I think we'll do the teether thing to try to get the message across without ebing too blunt. If that doesn't work then perhaps the hubby will have to have a word.

I encouraged my brother to stick his (clean) finger in 3 week old DS's mouth to shut him up/calm him down! and I still offer him my pinkie when I have forgotten the dummy and can't feed him at that exact moment. he's made it to 25 weeks thus far without imploding

I don't really see this as a problem?

DS is seven months and likes to chomp on my finger, unless you sterilise his toys everyday then he is going to pick up germs if he sucks someones finger or not.

YABU and a bit neurotic.

Oh my goodness-that just seems wierd.
Neither my parents or Ils ever did that.

ROFLMAO at the stump story

the rest of you are just mad - first babies?

by your 3rd or 4th you won't care what they're gumming because you know they'll be fine

Wow, ..really wow!! -this bothers you??!!!Seriously? Incredible!!! ( scratches head and wonders if some people have too little to occupy their minds)

My mum and dad always let my four DC have a little gnaw on a knuckle-no problems ever arose from it I promise-although my parents are very sparkly and clean I suppose.

Is this your PFB by any chance?

If it bothers you though tell them..and risk offending two very loving GPs maybe but heigh ho.

I disagree with the PFB, I am having my 4th and nobody will be sticking their hands/fingers in the pram never mind his mouth, it's just not nice it is and if you stand and watch in the toilet of JL, marks etc the number of people who do not wash their hands would turn your stomach.

I don´t think it´s PFB at all.

If baby grabs something to put in mouth that´s something-but to deliberately stick your own fingers in?

I think people's attitudes towards hygiene around babies does change the more babies they have. And also varies enormously from person to person anyway.

I think the crucial thing here is that it is making the child's parents feel uncomfortable. As long as it comes from the husband (cos it's his parents) and is said in as tactful a way as possible, you're within your right to make your views known.

My MIL insists on kissing my daughters on the lips, and encouraging her to drink from MIL's water bottle and eat from MIL's spoon, which I find a bit ick (although of course I reserve the right to kiss daughters on the lips myself, natch). Even when my 4-year-old asks MIL for it to be on the cheek instead (which has nothing to do with my views, I've said nowt), MIL still insists. No means no, for Chrissake.

i would just tell them like you've told us, that he got a stomach bug after they kept doing it and you dont know whether its related but still nevertheless u prefer them not to do it, as you dont consider it that hygenic. i dont think its offensive for you to say that to them

He is my first so maybe that has something to do with it. Whilst I don't doubt that they are very loving, so are my parents but they don't put their fingers in his mouth the second he makes a whimper. I do put my own finger in his mouth but I know where my hands have been and he's my baby .

YANBU. This was one of the things that drove me nuts with my mil and both dd1 and 2. Hands/nails can be so unhygienic.

Make sure they have clean hands and then don't fret.

Well I have 3 dc's and still recoil if anyone does this so not pfb.

And I have lots to worry about/think about but it would annoy me too.

LOL at the stump story.

Yuk. I hate that. Yanbu.

When I had my own PFB {grin] 17 years ago I had leaflets from the midwife that actually advised letting babies suck on a clean finger or knuckle to soothe them between feeds and as a way to avoid avoid avoid the need for the dreaded dummy ....is this not advised now? [curious}

I think the key word here is CLEAN-no one with an unwashed finger or knuckle would have got near any of my DCS I have to say

YAB a bit U. He'll soon be putting much worse things in his mouth. I think you'll really upset the DG's if you say anything.

Ok, so if we say clean fingers/thumbs are ok, how do I ask that without causing offence too??! " errr, excuse me XXXX, before you offer my child you pinkie did you wash your hands after you went to the loo"? Isn't that just as bad as asking them not to do it?

OP, when ILs aren´t there, is baby crying for something to "gum"?

Is it more for them than baby?

Yes it is just as bad ndavy. Chill out a bit

Ndavy - distraction.

It works on grandparents and toddlers

Does he have a dummy? If so, put that in first and then hopefully they would have the sense not to remove that and shove their finger in instead - it is pretty gross tbh and I am a very relaxed kind of parent!!

Actually ndavy I think I might have just changed my mind -if you think your inlaws are so grotty that they don't even wash their hands after the loo then don't let them in your house let alone allow their fingers in your child's mouth

diddl - when they aren't there he likes nothing more than a good old chew on his fist. He's never cried for something to gum becasue if he fancies it he rams his hand in his mouth.

BattyKoda - I am quite chilled. But would I think it is ok for someone put a potentially unclean hand in my mouth? No. So should I expect my son to put up with it?