to tell my ex that a 17 year old boy is not a suitable babysitter for our children?

[coldtits]

Our children have some complex needs. Both have asthma, both have eczema, and the 6 year old has ADHD and mild autism too. the other child is 3 and (still) not fully continent.

This would be in the day, for 4 hours, and they don't know him. he has no children or younger siblings, and is the ex's girlfriend's brother.

seriously, this is not a rant, this is an AIBU.

i was seriously wondering what was wrong with this boy when I read the title! But in the case of your children YANBU to decide who looks after your children.

Must add, I have no issues with the boy himself, I'm sure he's lovely. But the SENCO at ds1's school has lost him before, I have grave doubts about someone so inexperienced with him

YANBU. Whether he's a boy or a girl I would not let a 17 yr old with no experience of children look after two small children with medical conditions and, in one case, SNs also. It would be highly irresponsible.

Who usually babysits?

That's a lot to cope with for even an experienced mum I should think! YANBU.

YANBU although would be fine at night if they were sleeping.

YANBU

An inexperienced teenager who doesn't know your children, (who presumably are going to be awake and need feeding and entertaining etc)? It's too much responsibility and I would be concerned.

YANBU at all.

YANBU

My knee jerk reaction as I clicked on the thread was YABU, as my sister and I used to be babysat by a 16 yo boy, but we knew him well and we were much older and we did not have SN

so YANBU

I have left my step son to baby sit the dds (both ASD) for an evening when he was almost 16 and all was ok.

I wouldn't be happy with a 17 year old boy that i didn't know looking after the dd's though.

YANBU. What you gonna do then cause I don't think anyone is going to come on here and say YABU are they?

I have told the ex that he is to leave the children with me for those four hours and collect them when he becomes available himself.

I don't mind his girlfriend looking after them, she's only 22 but she seems to have her head screwed on, and apart from spoiling them far too much with sweets (which i have learned to let go) she actually looks after them very well.

but then, she HAD younger siblings, she lives with the ex and she's known the children for 6 months.

I am really cross that I had to ask to find this out though. If i had known in advance I would have organised something amongst my friends, which would probably have involved splitting the children between two houses, and between two experienced mothers in their late 20's with similar aged children (and one friend actually HAS adhd and TOTALLY gets ds1)

I was supposed to be at work, you see. As it is, I have goddawful flu, and can't go anyway because I'm a support worker, they are 24 hour shifts and the last thing the chap needs is to catch my flu!

It is real flu too, temperature for 5 days, the works

I didn't know if I was being unreasonable. i have kneejerk reactions to my ex sometimes, not always rational

If your ex cannot look after kids himself, why is he having them at all? I would be happy for you to have my 17 yr old son who has worked as a nursery nurse and has a younger brother. But not an inexperienced one, no.

We arranged a mmonth ago that he would have them this weekend as I have to work.

As it is, I have the flu, so it isn't a problem to keep them here with me.

Exp didn't tell me that he ALSO has to work for 4 hours on the Saturday, and that he hadn't bothered arranging any solid child care. Neither had he bothered telling me so I could put something in place.