to think that my mil shouldn't go on about her family tree to adopted dh

[radstar]

when he has no option about finding his?

I'm interested in family trees but wouldn't dream of talking about mine to dh when he knows so little about his own roots and never will. She just seemed so insensitive.

maryz - he did say he felt a bit funny about it.

mmcoffee - you may be right they aren't a communicative family at the best of times and despite her saying many times she would help him find the birth mum I think she secretly hoped he wouldn't. I have no doubt there must be some hurt and rejection there.

He never wanted his parents to be hurt but they have also shown no support to him even in the face of her tragic death, it's like "oh she's dead now and that's an end to it" but for dh it was only the beginning. I can't imagine what it must be like for him.

There is no dispute about her family being his too, like I said before he truly does regard all those that she knew personally as his family as she can pass on those family stories, it was just the really old stuff.

I think perhaps I was over sensitive based on other stuff that has happened recently. Thanks for your comments.

I don't mean this to sound nasty, but if she is anything like my mum, she was probably relieved to hear his mother was dead. One less competitor for his affections. I love my mum dearly, but she is SO possessive.

I hope he finds what he's looking for, and that it all works out for you all.