AIBU not to reveal the sex?

[Mishy1234]

We are expecting our second child in a couple of months and decided that we would like to find out the sex but keep it to ourselves. We wanted to keep it a secret the last time, but made the mistake of being honest and saying that we knew and were badgered to death until we told people.

This time, I agreed with DH that we would just say we didn't know. Anyway, I was asked a few times by PIL and maintained that we didn't know. Then DH came home from PIL's and said he'd been cornered and that he had accidentally smirked when his Mum asked him if we knew. From that, they have assumed (correctly) that we do know and just aren't telling.

Now I just get questions all the time from PIL trying to catch me out. When DH's Granny asked me at the weekend if I knew in front of PIL, I said I didn't (at no time have either DH ever actually said we do know btw), FIL came out and basically said that we did know and just weren't telling. It was really embarrassing and tbh I felt like a right liar (which technically I am) in front of DH's Granny who I like very much.

We have various reasons for wanting to keep it a secret, but mostly because my Mum really wants a surprise this time and I would like her to have that. If I tell other people, it's bound to slip out to her somehow.

AIBU?

YANBU. Totally up to you!! We found out the sex of one of our children & didn't tell anyone, though we did lie & say we didn't know which helped. Or sometimes we would say we thought it was a boy (which it was). Always think it's rude when people hassle you about the sex of the baby as if you want them to know you'll tell them.

I didn't really want to know but I had an amnio and I knew the information was there.

Stick to your guns and say you don't know

We found out with ds (no2) and told everyone
then with dc3 we didn't find out and no one believed us,
I used to laugh when I said I didn't know simply because I thought it funny no-one believed me and told me what a bad liar I was!

I would keep saying you haven't found out

So come on tell us what your having then???

I can't understand why you would know and wouldn't want to tell anyone? It pissed me off when I told folk in work we were having another girl and one of the secretaries (who I didn't know very well) said that she didn't want to know and that I shouldn't have told anyone.

That said - its totally up to you, but its perfectly normal for some folk to badger you about it

Urgh this is doing my head in too, I am 20 wks PG with our first and we found out on Tues that we're having a girl, which is very exciting. BUT DH doesn't want to tell anyone, because in his large family and friend group no-one ever tells.

I respect his decision and I don't feel strongly so I agreed. But I do find it hard keeping it a secret. We just told most people we weren't sure if we would find out, and then after the scan we said we decided not to to those people. When others pressed we just said we wouldn't have been able to tell anyone as she (as we now know!) was playing silly buggers. Which isn't a lie, I was in there for over 2hrs so the sonographer could get her last 2 shots, we kept getting sent off round the block etc!

I do feel weird about not saying, I feel like people might think we're being precious. But I think because we never made a big deal about the scan, haven't mentioned it since and certainly haven't been saying that we that we know but aren't telling etc we are ok. I was just so excited I wanted to tell people, but I made do with telling people how healthy she was etc.

Apart from family no-one has asked so we're getting off quite lightly so far.

SO OP, YANBU, and I appreciate how hard it msut be keeping it a secret!

It's NOBODY'S business but yours, honestly. YANBU!

YANBU. Its your choice!

In my first pregnancy we knew but said we didn't and they all believed us, and we were very careful. No one badgered us.

In my second pregnancy we knew and said we knew but wear keeping it a secret - everyone drove us mad trying to find out.

This time we found out and told everyone we know its a boy.

From my experience therefore its not a good idea to say you know but aren't saying...