to take DD to a party where she might catch chicken pox?

[Runningwithscissors]

DD is 2.2, and we have a family gathering at the weekend to celebrate my grandmother's birthday.

Her cousins have both come down with chicken pox this week; if no-one else at the party has any issues with poxy children showing up, AIBU to take my DD, and just accept that she has to get chicken pox at sometime?

Kreecher, I thought that I should be fine if I know that I've had the disease as a kid?

I understood that it was extremely rare not to have immunity in these circumstance?

Quote from Royal College of Obs and Gynae website:

What if I come into contact with chickenpox when I am pregnant?
If you have had chickenpox, you are immune and there is nothing to worry about. You do not need to do anything.

If you have never had chickenpox, or are not sure, see your GP as soon as possible. You can have a blood test to find out if you are immune.

I am happy on this basis.

I think it boils down to this:

Either:

1. YOu never want your DC to have chicken pox, in which case you should go out of your way to have a vaccine privately, and be prepared to keep it topped up for life.

or

1. You accept that your DC will get chicken pox at some stage, and that it is much btter to have it as a child than an adult. The vast majority of children do not suffer serious consequences and develop lifelong immunity.

If I accept 2, which is the situation for most people in this country who do not have access to the vaccine, I would think that it is probably ok to go to he party...

I've had CP twice - at 3 and at 18 (awful). I was still covered by bf immunity the first time, so probably didn't get a harsh enough dose to confer lifelong immunity.

If you'd asked me two years ago, I'd have said take her. In fact this is how DS1 got CP. An American friend was horrified as they routinely vaccinate against it in the US. However, when DS2 got CP, he developed a condition called Idiopathic thrombocytopenic purpura as a result of it, which left him with a dangerously low platelet count for 6 months afterwards. Yes it's v.rare, but with hindsight I wish I'd had him vaccinated.

However, I'm massively biased as a result of DS2's problems, and I'm sure your DD will be fine and you should go.

make sure you are immune, I say before you go, as it "might" damage the fetus.

Fingers crossed your pregnant x x x x x

Not Ggrrr at myself

was meant to say

Fourarms, I'd never hard of that but just googled it and I understand why you feel like you do.

Is he fully recoveered now?

Thanks LittleMrsHappy

Emmmmmmmaa, I'm not taking her deliberately to be infected - it's a special party that we're due to go to anyway.

But I'm thinking that avoiding it is just delaying the inevitable, unless I get her immunised, which I'm not so keen on, as it does not confer lifelong immunity.

Also, was thinking that it might be better for her to get it whilst the weather is still not warm, rather than have some hot, itching nightmare in August. And have heard that you get it milder if you're younger.

Emmmmmaa, I guess if I've made a decision not to immunise her, then that has the effect of deliberately exposing her to the disease during her childhood, knowingly or not (she might already have caught CP now, for all I know).

So there is practically no difference between knowingly or unknowingly risking her catching it; don't think it would be logical to blame myself more in one situation than the other .

And anyway, I might not take her to the party, and then she might get it badly later, and I would have wished that I'd taken her!

I agree with all your logic rws.

It shouldn't be up to you to stay at home - it should be up to the people with the actively infectious children to protect other people. And to expand on the point that someone made earlier about having to be in a room with someone for 15 minutes - that is completely innacurate. CP is spread through infected nasal droplets - if an infected child sneezes or coughs, they will infect other people in a matter of seconds.

Sassy just what I was going to say.

I have 3 of 'em at home with CP at the moment and it is a nightmare as I have been stuck home for 3 weeks and have at least another week to go.

Runningwithscissors thanks for asking For the last six months his platelet count has been fine. It was a v.rare thing to get, v.rare to get it so badly and v.rare for it to last so long. We were just v.unlucky! Hoping now that he's completely over it as he did have a bad virus recently and didn't relapse.

I would be more worried about your grandma and any other older people there.

I would never take an infectious child to a party.

Its up to you if you want to expose your presumably healthy child to the virus but why would your relatives think of taking two infectious children to a crowded, hot, gathering full of people whose immune status is unknown?

If the child is healthy then I wouldn't worry about the possibility of chickenpox at that age.

I didn't catch it as a child (neither did my sister) and we both had it in our 20s. I was pg at the time and it was grim.

I always joked about letting DS1 catch chicken pox as early as I could, really didnt understand the seriousness of it.

He had it mildly over his 2nd birthday. Then he caught it more seriously 2 months later, but was ok.

His 8mo brother though was seriously ill. Being in hospital with a dehydrated baby at 3am who has spots in their throat, ears, nose, cant drink or urinated for pain really makes you reasses how serious chicken pox can be. And that was still only realtively mild compared to how some get it.

But then again I still wouldnt avoid somewhere where chicken pox was if I had an unimmune child. So no YANBU.

I think that her cousins shouldn't go really. But if I was in your position as regards ivf, I would try to avoid coming into contact with chicken pox. I asked my MW a few weeks ago about exposure to chicken pox (a fiend whose lo had cp wanted to come over), whilst pg, and she advised me to avoid it if possible, despite me having it when I was a teenager.

My dds had it when they were 2 and 3, and it was horrible for dd2 (2 at the time), she was covered and some spots became infected, it really can affect some children horribly.

But it's good for old folk to be exposed to CP (assuming they have ever had it before). Because exposure to CP prevents shingles. Almost everyone should be exposed to CP frequently, really. Shingles is a rising cause of death among the elderly.

mmmmm, can see both sides TBH - I never caught CP when I was younger - my mum thought I must have had natural immunity - then my sister caught it when she was three - very mild, some itching but otherwise fine - I was 11 at the time and that's when I finally got it and it was awful - I was v. v. ill and it was horrid. I think in this country it's accepted that you'll catch it sooner or later as we don't routinely vaccinate. And if you're going to get it ime I'd say once they're over about a year old the younger the better. Just my opinion though.