To think my sister's being a bit of a cow?

[Rachyrachrach]

My youngest was off school yesterday as he was unwell and I was pretty sure he'd be off today as well. My sister is moving house this weekend so I phoned her last night to ask if she wanted me to look after her baby for a while as I'm off work anyway with my son. I'd already looked after him quite a bit last weekend and she said she'd been able to get quite a lot done. Anyway she said she didn't need me to look after the baby tomorrow as she's finished packing and hasn't really got anything else to do until moving day.

OK great I thought and asked her in that case would she mind keeping an eye on my son for an hour and a half so that I could go to a really important meeting at work. "No" she says "I've got far too much to do"

AIBU to be a bit pissed off?

I would guess she didnt want her / her baby to catch what your son had and was making excuses?

Perhaps she doesn't want her baby to catch your son's illness?

The way she phrased it was pretty crap, yes, but if your son is too unwell to go to school and her DC is only a baby, she's probably worried about her baby's health.

She should hae just admitted that, yes, but perhaps she thought you would get offended by coming straight out with it and was trying to be polite, though it has backfired.

What my son has isn't contagious and she knows that -it's part of a health condition he's had since he was a baby. She's perfectly aware of that and knows there's no risk to her baby's health.

Could it maybe be that she hasn't finished all the moving stuff, but didn't want to have you minding her baby as you have already got a poorly son to look after and she was trying to be polite? And then maybe when you asked her if she could sit with him she was a bit thrown, as she does still have a lot to do, but wouldn't have said as she didn't want to put it on you? Just a suggestion

But she might have other things to do - moving related or otherwise - that she can do with her baby, but not have the time to look after your sick son. She might need to be out and about all day.

She'd already said in the first part of the conversation that she was going to baby clinic in the morning but was doing nothing in the afternoon. Hey ho - her perogotive, she's not responsible for my child etc.

Soooo by the same argument is my sister BU to have Just had a HUGE paddy fit on the phone because I said that I'd only be able to look after baby for a couple of hours at the weekend when they move because I really need to catch up on some OU work (which I'd got behind on while looking after her baby)?

Oh come on half hour wouldnt have killed her, yanbu especially if you do her favours!

you (or maybe both of you) sound like you have huge issues about owing each other childcare. Think looking after each others' DCs is causing more hassle than it's worth

I can see why it would look that way SPB but i adore my nephew and love looking after him I generally have a good relationship with my sister too. My issue really is that I very rarely ask for help (my children are a lot older so I don't often need to) and I wouldn't have asked if it wasn't really important and she hadn't already said she wasn't busy.

Well, if the illness won't affect her baby, then I think as your sister, she probably could and should have done this for you.

Sounds like it'd be easier if you both just looked after your own children.
Also, why didn't you do your OU work yesterday?

That's not a problem for me uriel - I was asking for help for the first time in 4 years so looking after my own children is not unfamiliar to me.

I didn't do my OU work yesterday as I spent most of the day driving between home, the GP and the hospital and the rest of the day I was looking after a somewhat upset 9 year old. Is that OK?

Yeah, that's fine.

Thanks

yabu, doesnt sound like cow behaviour @ all
if i was moving i could get stuff done with my own kids here but minding others & especially sick ones would just make it harder to get on with ur own necessary stuff

Hi
No you are not being unreasonable honey. Sensitive yes & i don't want to sound patronising when i say that, but i suffer from the same thing & what is worse i have 2 sisters & they might as well live in oz 4 what good they are (hmmm)