Maybe I am, so this might just be a venting thread! But personally I think dh is being a total idiot and very very unreasonable!

[mustrunmore]

ds2 was off nursery with a cough. Not ill, but couldnt go in hacking away like that. So seeing as ds1 was at an afterschhol thing, we had from 9.30 till 4 at home, I decided we'd paint the hall.
It looks shit because not been done for 5 years.
ds2 was much more helpful/less trouble than I'd thought. We got all the emulsion done in hall and under the dado up the stairs, then ran out of time and paint, but above the dado isnt too bad.
Of course, now the woodwork looks really really really terrible by comparison. But it wouldnt tkae me long to do it.

Dh wasnt overly impressed with the painting.ButI did it for me, not for him to be impressed, so I dont mind.

Yesterday, I had from 12.30-3pm at home. I was going to do the wood. But dh was home afteer a dental appt.
Long story boils down to the fact that he doesnt want me to do the wood because the boys might touch it before its dry.So I cant effectively redecorate till they're grown up
So we did NOTHING with those hours.

I'm cross because I wasted all that time when I have so much to do. Could do more with him not here and its not like we went for a coffee or something instead.

And i know he had tooth pain, but just lately he's been whinging about pains everywhere, yet he can still go to the gym when it suits him. He texted to see if I wanted to run with him yest, which was a nice gesture. But does that mean he's not really ill and just wants sympathy? How come he could run but cant lift things to help me tidy up etc? I know this sounds very unsupportive, but even our friend pointed out how ridiculous he's getting about aches and pains. He's moody all the time and then tries to turn it round and say its me with the vibes. He goes to bed at 9pm so I never see him, yet he accuses me of ignoring him and not wanting cuddles etc.But he'll stay up talking with our friend. But I dont want to cuddle a snoring man, I'd rather read tbh!

I've got a whole day today, so after I've done shopping and some pta stuff, I'm going to paint the wood, and sod the fallout later . I'm sick of living it a scruffy house.

Rant over.

mustrunmore Have fun painting today - I'm sure it will look great, and it will give you a great feeling of satisfaction to have it completed. We're slowly doing work on our house as well (even though the children aren't grown up yet and might touch something ), and it's such a good feeling to get even little things done!

As far as your DH goes, can you just sit down with him and ask him what exactly his problem is?? (although possibly in a more tactful manner than that ) It would annoy me as well to have DH completely shut down like that. Maybe pointing out to him that if you do the painting while the boys are at school/nursery, then it has a chance to actually DRY somewhat before they get home. Besides, it's not like you're painting every day, for heaven's sake, right?

YANBU. It's your house too and just because DH wants to live in a 'scruffy house' doesn't mean you have to.

No idea about the aches and pains though, my DH is the same. Does seem odd how he can go running but can't lift things to help you???

For the first two years, every time I suggested doing any DIY, my dp would come up with a reason why I shouldn't do it. His house is scruffy & gloomy and I hate it.

In the end I just did stuff and ignored him. If I hadn't we'd be living in a slum.

His latest infuriating thing...In October I asked if there was enough insulation in the loft and he said there was. Now the £800 gas bill has arrived, he's admitted there's hardly any. Why couldn't he just tell me. I wasn't asking him to help. So now I'm insulating the roof and he's paying the gas bill.

The problem seems to be he feels guilty because DIY is a "mans job" , he hates DIY so he won't do it himself and he hates mess so he'd rather I didn't do it either.

Excuse my rant but he spent 15 times as much on the house as he did on the car and yet the car gets loving main dealer service and the house is left to crumble. And they say women are illogical!

Oooh that's better. Sorry about that

Well, I have to say I'm relieved that you seem to agree with me, I'd expected to get shot down in flames!

He's really good at diy actually (altho everything seems to take hours of prep and be 'a big job' , whereas I'd rather just get on with it!). He doesnt want to live in a shithole either. But he sees everything as a big problem/impossible to do. Apparently I underestimate how hard things are. But i didnt have any problems yesterday, so there's the proof.

He is now denying saying half the things he said yesterday Triggles, I'm not known for tact, so I prob would say it just like that

Painitng commences in 10 mins

My children painted a chair with pink glitter paint left over from decorating dd1's room and my mums craft. They were covered head to foot in paint. It them no harm.

Do the painting, keep the boys occupied with painting of their own. Do you have any old scraps of wood lying about? Sod DH.

Aged 3 My DD asked for a pink bedroom - not being that keen on pink I put her off. (I thought).

A week later I found her in her room, which was covered in pink handprints. She had covered her hands in my lipstick and decorated the room herself. "I told you I wanted a pink room" she stropped when she was told off.

Of course we had to paint the room then, so despite her naughtiness she got her own way.

What could your DS's do to your hall?

PS DD is now 11 and hates pink!

Its not that he doesnt want them to help, its that he doesnt want them to get paint on themselves while its drying!
I've now done all skirting boards, bathroom door, dados. About halfway to completing the hallway wood; got the front room door, and banister to go

Aw, it's just paint. As long as they're not eating it, I don't see the harm, although you might want to put something down on the floor or you'll have little paint footprints down your hallway!

Kids often love to help with that kind of thing. My daughter's favourite job when I was painting was "spot the missed spots" - and she was very good at it!! LOL ANNOYINGLY so! All I heard was "Mum, you missed a spot"... Thankfully now she's old enough to paint her own flat..maybe I should go over and see if SHE missed a spot!

Sometimes with DIY, DH does see it as an insurmountable task. I've found if I make a list and break it down into "ok, we'll do this first, then this, then this...." and kind of organise when we'll do them, he's much happier about it. Probably because when we're doing DIY on the weekends, it's during his time off work and he's hoping to get a little rest in. That's why we try to keep it to every other weekend, so he still has some down time.

But thats exectly my poimt; even if he did see it as an insurmountable task, it s not like he's got anything to do with it! I'm doing it all during school hours and he's at work.