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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Is this a reasonable enough dinner for an almost three year old?

45 replies

ShinyAndNew · 17/03/2010 10:03

Once a week dd2 muist have her dinner very early (4:30pm, we normally have dinner at 6pm), so she is never very hungry.

Plus I only get a couple of hours off work before I have to go back, so I don't have huge amounts of time to be making things as in this time I usually need to wash up, walk the dog, phone dd1, feed the dog, feed the cat etc.

Yesterday she had porridge, half a philly sarnie, 3 breadsticks with philly dip, half a sliced apple and a banana. On the way to mils she asked for a bag of quavers while we were in the shop.

When got to mils she asked what dd2 had had for dinner. I onmly got 'porridge' out before her usual reply of "Oh dear God, never mind I'll find you something" came out. She has then complained to DH that dd2 needs 'proper dinners'.

This is not the first time she has said things like this. Dd2 eats cooked mealsd the rest of the week, as a once a week thing I don't think the above meal is a bad one is it?

OP posts:

brownsauce · 17/03/2010 12:28

i think all that talk of panacalty and mince dinners (yum) gave away your location shiny!

Original poster

ShinyAndNew · 17/03/2010 12:30

I cannot stand panaclty. I used to have drown my mums in tomato ketchup for it to be remotely edible to me. It was my mums 'best dish'. Hence I learned to cook for myself very young

Is it really just a NE dish?

OP posts:

brownsauce · 17/03/2010 12:35

I think it might be, when i lived down south no one had ever heard of it, I know where i live though a lot of people call it 'tatey ash'
you can't get chips and gravy down south either

overmydeadbody · 17/03/2010 12:37

Ignore your silly MIL. YANBU. Next time she asks, say "worms and snails and puppy-dog's tails".

corriefan · 17/03/2010 12:47

What is it then? Panaclty? I like the name.
YANBU BTW, she'll probably always find something to fuss about.

corriefan · 17/03/2010 12:48

I'm from up north ish, too (Sheffield) and have definitely heard of chips and gravy though I prefer curry sauce and sometimes a bread cake!

brownsauce · 17/03/2010 12:59

panacalty is corned beef, potatoes, carrots and onions, all sliced thinly, then layered into a casserole dish, cover it with beef stock and bung it in the oven till it's cooked-lovely!

shiny, does your MIL think your DD should be having a 'proper' dinner? I know my mam does when the kids have a quick tea of soup and a sandwich at teatime, even though they have had a hot two course lunch at school!

theressomethingaboutmarie · 17/03/2010 13:01

I give DD a hot meal at lunch time (well, she has the food I've made given to her by our childminder) but in the evening she prefers toast, yoghurts and breadsticks - fine by me.

Original poster

ShinyAndNew · 17/03/2010 13:12

brownsauce mil has funny ideas of a 'proper' dinner. Even for a northerner A proper dinner in her books is anything that is cooked in or on the oven i.e. fish fingers and smiley faces.

OP posts:

brownsauce · 17/03/2010 13:20

ahhh she was probably feeding your DH findus crispy pancakes and potato waffles when he was a kid then?

will she still be huffing about feeding your DD if you take something round for her to heat up? and then she won't have to eat so early either?

bluemonkey123 · 17/03/2010 13:37

Shiny, I can't believe that you don't wake up at 3am and do all the ironing, washing up clean the house, and cook a full english before DH and DD's wake?? You are an awful mother & wife - I bet you don't even change the sheets as soon as everyone gets up every morning either do you? and have their baths run??

I don't feed my child at all!! (apart from weekends)

She has hot school dinners and then goes to after school club and has tea there, I collect her at 5.30, and she goes to bed at 7.30, there isn't time by the time we get home from school and afer reading/bath's story times and a little play...Tell your MIL that -it'll make you look like a saint besides she's not hungry - and certainly not malnourished!!

My MIL didn't believe my daughter when DD told her that she has bread and butter for breakfast " Mummy wouldn't let you just eat that for breakfast" she was outraged until I reminded her it was just toast without being toasted "oh I suppose so" was her response

Pikelit · 17/03/2010 13:46

I reckon you won't win either way. So don't allow your MIL's determination to be alpha bitch to get to you. Carry on feeding your dd what sounds like a perfectly healthy early tea and allow your MIL's comments to go in one ear and straight out the other.

katechristie · 17/03/2010 14:37

So, she doesn't want to go to the fuss of making DD's tea herself, so gets you to rush feed DD, just so she can roll her eyes at what you've given her, then give her something anyway???

Next time she asks and says she'll get something for her, can't you say "oh that would be great, thanks so much, it will really save me time if you start giving her a proper meal every week, what would I do without you"??? - You know she's in the wrong, but in her eyes whatever she does is right, so take advantage if you can?

Original poster

ShinyAndNew · 17/03/2010 15:01

That's about it Katechristie. What I don't get though is she buys pasta shapes and hotdog sausages or chicken nuggets specifically for dd2 every week, so why not just give her them in the first place?

Brownsauce, thats exactly what she fed DH. He still likes them to this day. He tried to get the dc to share his enthusiasm for them but was told by dd1 "They are not pancakes. How I am meant to spread my jam on them? Don't you know that pancakes are eggs, flour and milk? I am going to get mum. She will show you how to make pancakes. I don't know what they are, but I am not eating them"

OP posts:

thisisjuststupid · 17/03/2010 20:58

Shiny - re your post about MIL and SIL i have just the same problem with both of mine. I swear it contributed to my PND as i never felt i had the confidence to live up to either of their standards. MIL always comes up with (quite often) helpful advice, but sometimes it gets me down and i find myself floudering and unable to say anything coherent, or sound confident in my own opinion. i hate myself for it cos i feel subtley bullied by it. DH is fab tho and he just tells me to um and ah in the right places then we both will do what we think is right for DD. so far, we havent disagreed with parenting really so it makes homelife quite serene. i havent said anything to MIL as i wouldnt want to miss out on the useful stuff if she censored herself

EdgeofReason · 17/03/2010 21:12

I'm loving ChippinIns ' Why do you ask' have resolved to use that twice each day - it's a gem

YANBU - my kids use the term 'emergency breakfast' etc regularly to describe our hectic lifestyle and sounds like your example of work ethic will live with them longer than 'dinner on the table' habits would.

Well done!

Tortoise · 17/03/2010 21:20

My DD's have breakfast night every friday. They love it. They would have it more often if i let them!
No actual reason for it other than it is quick and easy for me and they love it.

AnneElliot · 17/03/2010 21:38

It sounds fine to me.

To save time, I freeze dinners for DCs in those little plastic chinese take out cartons. Lasagne, spag bol, cheese sauce, stews etc etc all freeze fine, and you can micorwave them while you're cooking 8 min pasta...

But what you're doing is perfectly ok.

ChippingIn · 18/03/2010 10:13

You're welcome girls , I hope it serves you well!!! (Re: Why do you ask?).

thecoffeelady · 18/03/2010 10:58

Tell mil to sod off!
I often give my dd (22mths) toast and marmite for tea. She has one (what your mil would call) good meal a day and that can either be at lunch or tea time.

As long as our kids are happy and healthy that is all that matters. If she is that worried then she should cook her a 'proper meal'herself

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