AIBU to wonder why there is the 'no threads about a thread' rule?

[BritFish]

I've been looking all over the site for a Mumsnet etiquette link, and in typical fashion I cant find it.
so i thought id ask, why cant you make a thread about a thread? why is it bad?

i would have though that it would be easier to have a seperate thread for an issue that spins off the original, because then you're not reading two/three conversations between posters at once, and maybe the subject deserves its own thread?

am i missing something?

I think there's no rule because there are too many reasons why it's done, some ok, some not.

I think issues arising from something raised in a thread is a good reason to start another thread. I think that "someone said something I don't like so instead of raising it on the thread and challenging the person directly, I'm going to start another one slagging them off" just deserves a slap, frankly.

yanbu
it is a made up rule, used to make people feel small

The sarcy thread about threads are not nice though sometimes really funny

It really depends on the context

Bibbity - me name change rushes to see if bibbity was on parent and child parking thread in previous life.....

Ashley, I understand your irritation, but...

No1 We are all effectively moderators, we are all supposed to contact mnhq if we see certain things happening on the boards and to put it simply, if bullying is seen, as in real life posters will tell the offending poster that they are out of order. I don't have a problem with that.

No2 As for already done to death? Believe me when you see the 50th thread about people parking in "family Bays" you will wish that the op had bothered to type family bays or whateve into the search box in the top right of the screen. They could then have spent an entertaining hour or so reading all the replies to find out if they were being unreasonable....

NO3 Last but not least, What happens on here does effect real life, it effects peoples opinions and attitudes, it opens people up to the problems of others and allows people to walk in other peoples shoes for an hour, to see depths of problems and share ideas which are then reflected in those peoples day to day lives. In many ways that is more profound and more important that some of the stuff that happens in parliament!

God yes, if I never see another parent and child parking thread again, it will be too soon.

Ashley, if you were at a party and every third person you spoke to favoured you with their views on parking spaces, don't you think that you might tell them you'd had enough after a while?

No-one is on here to win a prize for sainthood. And long-standing posters have just as much right to express a as new posters have to start threads on boring well-worn topics.

It's not rocket science to lurk a bit and check the archives if you don't want to risk a yawn. I think I was on here for about 2 years before I dared start a thread

But visitor, you don't have to read the threads - open, go 'oh, a thread about parking', close, read something else. You can't walk away from the partygoers quite as politely. So the analogy doesn't really hold up.

It's certainly always a good idea to lurk and search for a while to get the feel of the place, no question. But the norm here is to start new threads not drag up old ones.

I belong to other fora where it's the opposite; there are a limited number of long running threads which conversations get added to on and off. If I wanted to ask a question about childcare, I'd search for childcare, find the most appropriate thread and post on the end of it. Popular threads are 100+ pages long.

I'd be a bit stupid doing that here, though, wouldn't I? So if you want to post, not just read, about parking bays, you start a new thread.

of course you can walk away.

But at the same time, the thread clogs up active convos, isn't always clear from the title (so you waste time reading it anyway) etc etc etc.

Conversely at a party you could just change he conversation to something you find interesting. You can't do that with a thread - the topic header is set in stone, you can't decide to change it to the price of council tax. A biscuit is an attempt to change the subject in a medium where that actually isn't possible.

I'm not saying it's polite or laudable - I'm just saying it's human nature to yawn when you hear the 20th version of the same thread - but it is understandable.

The other thing is that the threads that cause most irritation are often the ones that express something unpleasant about society. No-one minds the hundredth thread about "3 week old baby not feeding effectively - what to do?" That one pops up every week and no-one bats an eyelid.

But the parking one does irritate because it says something unpleasant about us as parents - a sense of entitlement, of grievance even, often at the expense of people who are genuinely disadvantaged. It never takes long before you get complaints about there being too many disabled bays, or blue badges "hogging" the P&T spaces. And so the same people who weighed in on the last thread feel obliged to do so again, and are reminded for the nth time that there is a sizable section of the population that believes having a buggy is somehow comparable to having a life-long disability.

THAT'S why people get narked hearing the same old crap again and again from people who think they are being ultra original. Under the circs, is often quite a polite response.

Was the a reference to Gordon Brown and the question to him about his favourite biscuit?

I think threads about threads are ok if they are either:-

a) Picking up on a tangent from the parent thread, so that the original thread doesn't lose focus

or

b) Funny.

KitKatQueen

No1 We are all effectively moderators, we are all supposed to contact mnhq if we see certain things happening on the boards and to put it simply, if bullying is seen, as in real life posters will tell the offending poster that they are out of order. I don't have a problem with that.

• of course and under those circumstances I don't have an issue which is why I did not mention bullying. I do have an issue with people telling others what they can and cant start a thread about.

No2 As for already done to death? Believe me when you see the 50th thread about people parking in "family Bays" you will wish that the op had bothered to type family bays or whateve into the search box in the top right of the screen. They could then have spent an entertaining hour or so reading all the replies to find out if they were being unreasonable....

• I have been using MN for years but I like to name change. I don't give a crap when I see the 50th P&T parking, troll, SAHM vs Nursery, fruitshoot etc because I ignore or hide thread. It's easier for me to hide and ignore a thread than it is for a new muser to do a search and find the answers. What I have also seen is that when someone does this and posts their views therefore bringing the old post back to life people start moaning "oh no not this again".

NO3 Last but not least, What happens on here does effect real life, it effects peoples opinions and attitudes, it opens people up to the problems of others and allows people to walk in other peoples shoes for an hour, to see depths of problems and share ideas which are then reflected in those peoples day to day lives. In many ways that is more profound and more important that some of the stuff that happens in parliament!

• I can barely maintain a straight face as I read your third point. In some cases I think that MN can help some people blah blah starsnstripes etc? I do not believe that for a second using a chat forum for an hour can enable someone to walk in anothers shoes for an hour, sorry, I'm just not that shallow.

Did you really mean to write that using a chat room is more profound and more important that some of the stuff that happens in parliament? I'm astounded.

The young visitor - I would disengage those people and ignore them.

I agree, considering some of the rudeness on here a thread about a thread is mild!!!!

etiquette my arse, what etiqueete in AIBU!!!!

All threads are going to irritate someone, either because of the content or because they feel the topic has been done to death. If everyone worried about irritating someone else with their choice of topic, then no one would ever post anything. If a reader is bored, then they are free to stop reading.

"All threads are going to irritate someone, either because of the content or because they feel the topic has been done to death."

I disagree. I have never, never seen a yawn on a thread asking for real advice, no matter how often it's been asked before. At most you might get someone posting a link to a thread where there was particularly helpful advice on the same topic. You see the same threads about feeding problems, or weight gain, or thrush, or depression every single day, and no-one minds a jot.

But people do not have an automatic right to come on and do some kind of witless mind-blare about all their prejudices. At least, of course they do have a right, but equally everyone else has a right to respond in kind.

Ashley - I applaud your high-mindedness, but don't you think it must be rather more difficult to be so disengaged if you are the person on the sharp end of (for eg) the endless rants about disabled people using P&T bays, or whatever?

Because MN will end up eating itself. One person will start a thread about, say, Mouldies. Then another will start a thread about that thread. And then another about a thread of a thread. And then another about the thread about a thread about a thread and so on and so on and so on and it would lead to the end of the world, and then there'll be all these smug articles in the Times and the Telegraph about how the smug middle class Bodenistas of MN caused the end of the world. And that would be very annoying.

I disagree and don't think that would happen Abs.

theyoungvisitor - a person may not post a yawn on a thread requesting genuine advice. That would be rude and hurtful to the op. Nonetheless, they may not be particularly interested in the topic or feel it has already been addressed, in which case they can choose not to read the thread and leave it to people who have something to contribute. My point is that we all come to mn with a range of opinions and we all think different things are reasonable/unreasonable in society. That's why the op rarely gets complete agreement from posters

Forum etiquette is weird, I used to use 2 forums, one that actively discouraged posting in old threads and would lock and delte them if it happened. Another actively discouraged posting new threads about subjects already covered, and would also lock and delete them.

Personally I preferred the first method, can't think of anything worse than trawling through pages upon pages of ancient posts, and then replying to members who have long since left. I'd rather have multiple posts on the same subject which I can ignore if I want, or read without sacrificing a few hours to obselete information. Seeing as so many people don't like reading whole threads anyway, smaller threads make more sense.

As for threads about threads, the second forum I was on deleted them too. Also leading to threads that veer off into bizarre tangents that are no use to anyone actually interested in the original thread title. However threads bitching about other threads are pretty pointless.

Plus they tend to influence people to create threads bitching about threads that bitch about other threads, and on and on... Until a moderator has to delete them all.

Ashleyfanjo

"Did you really mean to write that using a chat room is more profound and more important that some of the stuff that happens in parliament? I'm astounded. "

Erm hello? Have you heard some of the daft shit that they actually come out with.

And yes actually I do believe that for many people coming on here has given them an insight into what life is like for other people.

Which in turn gives them a change of attitude in certain situations, yes that is life changing in many ways. No I am not saying that coming on here for an hour means that I or anyone suddenly know exactly what it is like living in a hostel, or having a special needs child, however it does give me an insight into the difficulties of both those situations and changes my view of the people who are going through their lives dealing with problems that I would otherwise know nothing about.

I name change fairly frequently too, I always come back to kkq however.

I still maintain that the changes that have occurred in some posters lives because they have come on here are more profound than some of the pisstaking shit that comes from the leader of the opposition.

I have helped people in rl who i have met on here and I have changed their lives. My life is different because I have been on here and quite frankly there are many days in the week when i curse myself for spending so much time on here - If only I could keep it to 1hr (or 5 in any given day.....

I don't expect everyone to agree with me but I don't need to be called shallow either, because my dear, I am anything but.

Actually i think you abu and rude............

BariatricObama got it in one.