To think getting a card off your husband is not really the point of Mother's day

[DuelingFanjo]

Ok, so a thread about several a thread but...

I just asked my DH if I do manage to get pregnant (Am ttc) would he buy me a mother's day card? He answered 'huh? no! I might help our kids make you a card when they are old enough but I wouldn't buy you one' and I do agree with him that this is fine.

I wouldn't expect a card from my DH at all. Does that make me odd because from what I can see most people get really upset if their DHs/DPs don't get them a card!

I told dp not to bother buying me a card from the dc this year as they had both made me one at school and nursery and that meant more so YANBU, in previous years he has bought one and let the dc 'sign' them.

On this subject I saw something funny this morning. DD and I were walking home from the shops and there was a man carrying a bunch of flowers. All of a sudden a little boy darted out of the house, the man gave him the flowers and whispered 'go and give them to mummy'. As we walked past the door we overheard the little lad saying 'Mummy! Look what daddy has bought you!'

Was not fussed either when dp forgot and landed me with 3 other kids[nieces] we are having great fun but he feels guilty and is promising me the earth moon and stars so am going to take advantage
Still he will want earth moon stars and planets for fathers day

It's something I get quite irrrationally overheated by, WHY woud you want anything from your husband on Mother's day? Ditto with Aunties / Grandmas / any other female. It's ridiculous.

It's for your MOTHER and no one else.

While DS is too young to do anything himself, I do rather expect DH to give me a card for him - what is wrong with wanting some acknowledgment of my "mother" status now?

I dunno about this - I've been in two minds about it all morning - my DH doesn't see the point in buying a card and 'pretending' it's from our 2yr old DD. Part of me thinks fair enough...but at the same time I think it would be nice if he saw it as a good opportunity for him and our DD to do something together like make a card or whatever. My Dad used to get us to take flowers and breakfast to our Mum before we were old enough to understand why and that made us really want to do it ourselves when we were older. On the other hand my DH takes his role as a Dad pretty seriously (my Dad was a far more old school typical 1970s Dad). On balance I think everyday behaviour from one's DH is far more important than what they do on some random day. I'm still bit jealous of those who's DH's have gone to town with the romantic gestures though...

I got gifts and cards of my ds and I got a huge card,flowers and £20 off.........my fil .

( Woops posted too early) ..as I said on another MD's thread this morning when I was incredibly jealous of someone's DH's restaurant booking arrangements.....

a card of your husband is pointless but your husband helping the DCs to choose and write a card because they are a bit young to do it themselves is ok IMHO
and FWIW i would much prefer a handmade card but if H ever had the foresight to get the DSs to scribble on a piece of paper and fold it in half i would probably have a heart attack

I was very happy to receive a card from DH on behalf of our baby son this morning. It's nice to have my first Mothers Day acknowledged, and hopefully DH will continue to do this until DS is old enough to make me a card himself.

I think it is nice and right if DH's give you a card, you are still a mother even when your children are too young to make you a card themselves. Your DH, and your other relies, can appreciate you as a mother too. I think it is nice.

There is a real divide on here when it comes to MN, you get the ones who 'don't care, it's just a day, every day is about being a mother', the ones who expect an awful lot, and the ones who expect something nice but get nothing as their DH's are selfish twunts.

I think there is no harm in expecting a nice relaxing day, and a card and a cuppa in bed at the very least. I got all of that, a crochet book which was more than I was expecting, and DH has taken DD to his mum's for the day to give me a break, which was my only request. Maybe that is not what being a mother is about, but I am a mother every minute of every day, and I need a break.

As long you treat your DH the same on father's day then it is all fair. I am lucky that DH and I have similar views on this, plus we actually have conversations about each others expectations, so one of us isn't sitting their fuming while the other is oblivious.

Sorry, that wasn't really an answer to the OP, more the myriad on Mother's Day threads.

OP, you are not odd, but neither are the people who expect just a little effort from their DH's on a day that is meant to be about them. You are still a mother when your DCs are young and still deserve a treat (of whatever magnitude).

My DH is such a suck, when we were dating he turned up one mother's day lunch at mum's place with flowers for Mum and all my sisters and me (even though I wasn't yet a Mum). Can you say brownie points.

He knows which side his bread is buttered on, this is the first year that DS has really "taken over" mother's day, but DH still made me my brekkie/tea and bought the flowers etc.

To be fair though they are both very good to me (as I am to them) year round but there is some extra fuss on Mother's Day.

Also as we are Aussies but currently live in England I get 2 Mother's Days (and DH gets 2 Father's Days).

s'nice.

Morloth, I am having 2 Mother's Days this year as DH had 2 Father's Days last year, but he says next year I only get one.

I want more than a card out of dh: badgering and bullying of dcs until they provide breakfast in bed, a nice supper, bottle of wine. Don't really do shop bought cards, but dh always paints one for his mother. I got a card from ds that was supposed to be a portrait of me, it was interesting, shall we say.

well, there seems to be a split in opinion, between
a. those who think it's a general 'well done on being a mother' day & send cards etc to any family they have who are mums/MIL their wife etc, and
b. those who think it's specifically only for their own mum (but may appreciate little dc's being given some help to do things), and
c. those who believe it should remain a religious event or just don't worry about it at all.

personally, i'm of group b, MIL seems to think i should sign the card from dh to her, dh would rather it didn't exist at all.

ours is further complicated by the fact that we live in the US, and mother's day is in may (about 2 days before my birthday, giving dha nice opt out). BUT I did force dh to write his name in a card & I sent it.