Is your H/P BU on mothers day?

[lukewarmcupoftea]

And the answer is yes he is.

Have a rant here about how thoughtless, lazy and crap your dh/dp is; how it would have been nice to get something, anything that dh helped the kids make; how maybe breakfast or even tea in bed would have been appreciated; how even, failing that, an offer to help change dd1s sheets as her nappy had leaked, do the washing, tidying, hoovering..... jump in at any point to help please don't let me stop you.

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

the kitchen is a bombsite and i refuse to clean it, h has gone over to watch the fecking football, he first went over at 9am, came back to drop ds off and has gone back now. he got hammered yesterday and drank the bottle of wine i was saving for myself, i refused to get up with ds this morning and he has been moaning about that - we are going to mils for lunch in a bit so i might just get dressed and take ds up now. the selfish prick can make his own way up. im so cross i could cry.

dp isn't even here, he's down the country at his parents.

Not for mothers day i hasten to add, he didn't even realise it was mothers day til ds1 came home from playschool with a card for me on wednesday, he hasn't seen his parents since october and is delivering xmas presents

I've had an awful weekend, my car has had the window smashed in and i can't leave the house (5 miles from town, 3 small kids) and my heating has run out of oil, i've had to borrow coal from my neighbour, we've run out of milk and food that dd can eat (wheat intolerant) and my cats have no kitty litter or canned food.

Do you think at any point he's said 'I'll come home early so you can get to town for supplies'? Has he fuck... he won't turn up until 1am like usual and will have forgotton to bring milk and coal.... 8 years of this shite means i'd lay money on that fact

Well, I did get tea and toast in bed at 7am this morning.

Then I had to walk the dogs, take Dear Old Dad to Church and sort out his flat.

DH & DS1 have fecked orrf to an all day football tournament (some bright spark mustn't have had his thinking head on when they organised that) and it being a weekend lunchtime DD2 is still in bed.

So... I still have the weekly shop to do, preparing all school school uniforms for tomorrow, prepare the evening meal, clean that bombsite of a kitchen etc etc etc

But I did get a cup of tea and toast

Mine isn't BU. I got a little box of chocs from Maison du Chocolat and a little card from DS (aged 9 months). He even took the time to write a really sweet poem. H about to take me out to lunch. I am completely in love. LarryGrylls is very good to me.

Mine buggered off to Scotland today to go on a five day walking holiday. I'm slightly jealous for having to stay behind with the little one, but I know it's good gfor his sanity and happiness so I don't begrudge him it.

Still slightly scared of bring alone with our daughter for 5 nights, when he's so much better at settling her to sleep than I am.

mines not here either. I'm ill and the kids keep fighting

My DH has to work today and won't be home til around 10pm tonight so cant go out for dinner (grrrr).

Still I did get breakfast in bed before he went to work (scrambled eggs on toast, yoghurt, juice and coffee with a flower on the tray, bless). He also gave the DCs some money to get me something which they did yesterday (a book, a very sad one but never mind!) and a card and left strict instructions for them to clean up the kitchen and behave which of course they did'nt do! Still think he's BU though as I did'nt get a big bunch of flowers and I still have to do everything today so have bought MYSELF a big box of chocs and am half way through them (and feeling sick).

the only time my DP has BU is when he wanted to watch the F1 and accused me of being manipulative to try and stop him watching it, even tho i already said it was fine. other than that been good. x

Today's not been too bad so far...

I have hand prints from DS 3 and DD 12 weeks but I made them myself at toddler group last week.

I have Daffodils but I bought them myself with the weekly shop.

I almost got a lie in but mainly because DS was sleeping over at MILs so I only had DD to get up with - to be fair DH couldn't have helped me with that though as she's BF. I wouldn't have gotten out of bed so early only DD puked after feeding.

I got lunch out this afternoon but it was organised by SIL. MIL and FIL were there, along with both SIL's, their DH's and their children.

I got asked while we were there what presents I had gotten (both SIL's got expensive jewellery) I said nothing as DS had been at MIL's but we went to MIL's for almost an hour before the meal and have been home for over an hour now and I still don't have anything - not even a card. I know I won't get expensive jewellery (DH has already told me not to get excited) and I don't mind about that, but it would have been nice to have whatever it was by now. Will be hours before it might occur to him now as he's watching the recorded F1. I don't want to ask for sounding greedy.

Feeling a bit fed up now

Oh and I had to wrap his Mum's present for him too

I had to remind him several times to get a mother's day card for his mother!

Now he did let me have a lie in this morning (ds 2.3 normally gets up at 6:30), but I have been getting up with him all week!

But no present, no card

Didn't bother mentioning anything after he asked me what DSS should get his mum if he couldn't get flowers for her

So said "well, where's my card?" after he got back from shop with DSS.

Turns out he had a card and present (a box of fudge, which was fine, not expecting much only supposed to be a token thing), which ds only decorated just before he gave it to me, 3.30 in the afternoon! If I hadn't have mentioned it, I probably wouldn't have got it at all...

Thank god for this thread. I don't normally bitch about DH ... but ...

He is currently laid up AGAIN with a dose of hypochondriac manflu. This happens every other weekend. The kids have started noticing this and given up on him during weekends.

I got a £1.79 bunch of pinks from Aldi. The kids made me cards on their own and DS2 delivered breakfast in bed off his own bat (DH had not got up). I was later taken out to church and lunch and DH had a face on him the whole time, was fussing about like an old woman, insisting on taking tablets for it while he was in the pub, moaning about various things. As I have a cold myself and a temp of 99 I was not entirely sympathetic. The whole thing culminated in him failing to supervise the baby for 5 seconds properly so I could put something in the changing bag, baby putting his hand in my cappuccino (luckily he's OK) and finally me flouncing off from the lunch with the kids and telling him to make his own way home. He is sulking ill upstairs now.

Was told last night that by DH that I hadn't got anything for today. He blamed my 13 yr old DS which I suppose is partly true but they could have sorted something between them Told him that I didn't think that I was that crap a mum that I didn't deserve a card. Offered to take me to lunch which was a token gesture coz he knew I wanted to watch the F1, everywhere would be packed and he knows I am on a diet! Said it should be my DS who sorted mum's day so I asked him what he sorted for his own mum. "You'll have sorted that" he said which, of course, I had.

Anyway, his guilt must have got the better of him as he disappeared at 10am to the supermarket and came back with a card and bouquet (price still on).

Still feel a bit put out tho - surely shouldn't have to sulk to get a measly card. Tried to tell myself it was all a load of coommercial rubbish and shut myself in the kitchen with Andrea Boccelli at full volume and cooked the dinner while they watched the footie.

I am in a huge sulk and the worst thing it isn't really all DHs fault. He is in Navy so is away, he didn't sort anything for the boys (3 and 4) to give me but ds1 had made a lovely card at school. He text me to say he is in holland and off to a footie match.

The kids get up at 5.30 every day, I work a 10 hr day 3 times a week and am KNACKERED.

I want to move home, closer to my family for some fecking help and support and he won't move from this bloody port town.

He is away pretty much til November bar a few weekends in April and May. I am grumpy.

Message withdrawn

But it's not just a load of commercial rubbish is it? If it was valentines day I wouldn't give a monkeys arse, but I work bleeding hard trying to keep everyone in the house happy, clean and well fed. I think about how to get everything done and make things better all the time, not just 9-5. Not that I mind for the kids, but it both makes dh's life easier as well and means he doesn't have to much thought into looking after them, just picks up and plays rather than having to run around doing a thousand other things at the same time. So i don't think that taking the time to turn the tables and do something thoughtful for me, which shows that my work is noticed and appreciated, is a big ask.

Maybe the fine for failing at mothers day should be that they get to try again, only this time it's mothers week. Fail at that, and it's mothers month. Or divorce, which is crossing my mind at the moment.

Snailwahletail,
my cousin was in a very similar position to you, her dh was posted to scotland (in raf) so they all moved up there to, except a few months later he was then posted to the falklands for 6 months home a month then off again for 6 months, so she had enough in the ned and left him ( for a weekend )till he agreed they could move back home so shes nearer her mum family, and he has now been posted a lot closer to us again (east anglia). he lives on base during the week but comes home fri and leaves mon am again.
doesnt make the mothers day part any better, this is my first mothers day scince dp and i split. he didnt help ds1 and ds2 get anything for me. my mum took them out last night so they could pick a card and some flowers. exdps mum died a few years ago so he doesnt even have to buy a card but he has had enough hints that it was mothers day this week. ds2 made me a card at nursery at least.

oh well, i thought it would be better when ds1 (11) and ds2 (3) would be old enbought to buy a card but reading others posts maybe not ??

i've got a huge work deadline tomorrow so have had to work all weekend. remind me next time dh has a deadline to be as helpful to him as he's been this weekend. he's done nothing but stomp around saying how tired/ill/stressed he is.

i could have sworn today was mother's day

he's now gone to london for 2 days, so not only have i got to still finish work off, but have to also hoover, make beds, sort and put away all the washing, make tea for the dc's and get them to bed, sort stuff for school tomorrow.

We got up this morning and drove over to MIL's to spend a bit of time with her, so DH could wish her a Happy Mother's Day. Then popped over to my 23yo DD's and visited with her a bit (she wanted to show us some improvements she'd done in her flat). Then she followed us to our house again, and DH & I laid the new carpet for the living room that we'd been wanting to get done for ages. DH made a roast dinner for us all. We gave DGS a mother's day gift to give to DD (as single mum of toddler). Then have spent the evening so far relaxing (and eating some chocolate). I did get a handmade card as well that 3yo DS made, and DH put some ££ in my online bingo account "from the boys for mummy to enjoy" . DD got a card for me, but forgot it at home (poor thing, she was a bit embarrassed she forgot it), but she's bringing it over first thing in the morning. LOL

So all in all, I enjoyed the day. Maybe not horribly "traditional" in a sense, but I was happy with it.

Ah but Lukewarm, (while not trying to take from the obvious reasonableness of your rant), maybe the key to a happier Mother's Day would be to try to focus on the nice things that your (D?)H has done today, for example getting up at 5.30am with DD2 or taking both DDs off your hands for most of the day so you can go to the pub (just random guesses as to the sort of things he might have done! :-)

PS Hope you're who I think you are - or else my post may seem a bit odd

PPS My first ever post on Mumsnet - wahey!

Well this morning my DP was at work when I woke up for overtime he had volunteered to do!! no tea or toast in bed for me. Had a card and some flowers waiting however the flowers were straight from tesco and the few roses that are in it have brown edges to them and half of the tulips have petals missing!! so I can tell he has just grabbed the first bunch he saw!!
When he got home from work it was me being unreasonable cos I was abit p*ed off about being alone all day!
Went up to my mum's with her presents he made me stop on way to buy her a bottle of wine on top and some chocolates for her, why she gets so spoilt I dont know!!
While having dinner he decides he is having a drink not me so I have to drive home!! (I had to go and buy tea and cook it!!) then we have got home and he has passed out on the sofa asleep leaving me sat alone!!
I wouldn't mind but DS is 2 young to make Mothers day special by himself and I always make a huge effort on fathers day! I feel like I'm being spoilt but it doesn't seem fair!! plus I got nada for valentines or our anniversary when I got him stuff so feeling pretty damm unloved currently!! Oh and now I have to take the dog out and go to tesco again to get toilet roll!! great day!!!

mine waz ill so had to change/ feed/ rub backs of two babies last night and today no card or anything but he was too ill to organise- thing is he only gotr ill last night so hmmm

and I had to give him a card for his mum and I miss my mum so much it hurts
think that pisses me off the most

DamsonJam - argh, you scared me! Congratulations on your first post though!

DH (he is D again), took yesterday off work and we had a lovely day so all is well again. And I suspect that he might plan next mothers day a little bit better...