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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to expect dh to point dd towards a mother's day gift that I'd like?

18 replies

asdx2 · 14/03/2010 09:07

Have recieved two cuddly toys and a snow globe from dd7 which I know is lovely that she chose them herself. BUT AIBU to expect that he either suggest something to her that I might like or buy me a supplementary gift that IS for me rather than gifts that dd will have commandeered before lunch anyway. After all I am sure he won't be chuffed to recieve similar on his birthday next month

OP posts:
BAFE · 14/03/2010 09:09

Are you really not happy with that

yabu

damnedchilblains · 14/03/2010 09:10

YABU I used to buy loads of useless junk and ornaments for my mom on mothers day but she kept them all because I'd chosen them. She still has them now (and believe me - some of them were just awful like a cheap porcelain unicorn) . Just be grateful you have been given something. But maybe he could have bought you something.

rubyslippers · 14/03/2010 09:10

she chose them herself - that makes them meaningful ...

YABU

foxinsocks · 14/03/2010 09:10

surely people don't do gifts on mother's day?

I think the hand made card at school is more than enough tbh

damnedchilblains · 14/03/2010 09:11

Maybe you want to explain the concept of giving to your daughter though. You bought these for mummy so no you cannot play with them lol. Should be fun for you

foxinsocks · 14/03/2010 09:11

I mean if your kids want to get you something yourself, then lovely . But I wouldn't expect someone else to have to manufacture it iyswim.

heQet · 14/03/2010 09:12

erm. yes. no. I dunno. One one hand I think yabu because the gift is from your dd - you're not your husband's mother after all and it's sweet that she chose them herself - and it's not the gift that matters, but the love it comes with.

otoh, like you say, 2 cuddly toys and a snowglobe are possibly more a gift for herself than for you (let me know if they end up in her bedroom by the end of the month)

re his birthday next month - get him his gift from you and give the kids free choice in what they get him from them. There's no problem with that.

Olifin · 14/03/2010 09:32

YABU! I am delighted with my 4 handmade cards (I only have 2 DCs )

borderslass · 14/03/2010 09:43

my son gave me his gift yesterday hes 15 and autistic so the first time he's got me something, I didn't have the heart to tell him its a book I'd read last year but was really happy to get it.

sweetkitty · 14/03/2010 09:46

YABU I have received some chocolates, some socks chosen by DD1 and a mug chosen by DD2 as pink and yellow are my favourites colours. Have also had some handmade cards and some sweets wrapped in tin foil.

I adore the fact they went with Daddy to chose something, I couldn't care less it was the biggest laods of tat going.

For your birthday make sure DH gets you something you like.

heQet · 14/03/2010 09:46

I'm not getting owt Himself doesn't get me anything cos I'm not his mother (fair enough) and my kids don't have a clue about mother's day (autistic). No matter. I know they love me, card or no card.

Original poster
asdx2 · 14/03/2010 09:46

Oh I love the handmade cards I think it's more that he knows dd has chosen them for herself as he had already said dd's chosen things you don't like so that she can have them. I think he should have explained about the gifts being for mummy rather than for herself. I just see it as lazy because he has effectively avoided a strop rather than give an explanation.
Maybe I'm just being silly I think it falling on the anniversary of my mum's death has made me over sensitive especially as dh hasn't even mentioned that nor questioned my going to chuch later to pop flowers on the grave.
I can see I am being a bit unreasonable.

OP posts:
heQet · 14/03/2010 09:47

Oh - you need to tell her how lovely they are, how much you adore them and keep them!!!

She should not be allowed to get them for herself!

foxinsocks · 14/03/2010 09:49

aaah asdx2 I'm sorry to hear that and sorry that no-one else seems to have remembered.

I think at 7, she's perfectly old enough to have that explained to her (about buying gifts)

Original poster
asdx2 · 14/03/2010 09:50

heQuet dd has autism too so I think it is his job as well as mine to educate on appropriate behaviour but he opts out and I then feel bad

OP posts:
belgo · 14/03/2010 09:52

YANBU. He is letting her waste your money on gift that will just collect dust. As with everything mother's day has been turned into a commercial opportunity and he is falling for it.

Olifin · 14/03/2010 09:56

asdx Sorry about your mum. No wonder you're feeling a bit sensitive.

hmc · 14/03/2010 09:57

I have a little sympathy.

Last Mothering Sunday my dd bought me a necklace from a craft fayre that she had chosen herself (her father was with her at the time). It wasn't that I was disappointed not to receive a 'better' gift as such (I was really touched that she had spent her own money and had put time and effort into selecting it) - I thanked her effusively, gave her a big hug etc....The problem came that every time I went out for the evening she would insist that I wear it - and it really was the most foul thing. Of course I would put it on and then take it off later and slip it into my bag.

I did then point out to dh that his input in guiding her when she purchases future gifts might be instructive

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