to feel sickened at a very distressed 6 year old being exposed to the whole nation on TV?

[emkana]

Just watched the Jo Frost programme because I wanted to see about the portion sizes. There's that girl Paige, 6, on there, who is desperate to sleep in her Mum's bed, and she is extremely distressed. There are obviously some deeper running issues there, but instead of those being addressed she is just being "beaten" (not literally) into submission. It made me want to cry. And all this with all the cameras pointed at her.

I feel most of the posters are missing the OP's point here. Whatever the rights and wrongs of the issue, is it right that a family's problems are used for entertainment? What are that girls school friends going to say? How can it be good for a child to be paraded on TV for what is essentially bad behaviour parenting?

I didn't really think that was the OP's point choccy but it is a good point. And to a large extent I agree with it, although I do think it is helpful to have programmes dealing with the everyday problems that many, many parents have (perhaps without the gory footage tho).

My point was about both, being served up for entertainment but also the method - letting the girl go on until dawn, no comforting - horrific. She is six years old, you can talk to her - there has to be a different way of doing this. But as somebody said, not as "watchable"

I just couldn't in a million years have my child cry and be upset this much for something like 8 hours and not comfort her. horrendous

That's your choice. I've used CC with my daughter and at no point has she cried for more than 35 minutes. With gentler techniques, she would cry on and off for up to 3 hours. Now she doesn't. For me it worked.

This went on for 8 hours because the child had become so used to getting her own way and calling the shots in the relationship. Therefore, it DID become a battle of wills. And, because the way the mother responded to her changed, it was uncomfortable for her and she got cross.

As a PP said, by the end of the programme she was sleeping through the night in her own bed and was very proud of herself.

Imagine for a moment you are another mother at her wits end and decide this method is for you - perhaps you feel there are no other alternatives. Is it better to see that the method could lead to 8 hours of screaming, or is it better to let her think that a few minutes of crying and it's done?

If you don't like it, don't watch it.

And actually - you'll probably find the children are minor celebrities at school for a few days and then everything will return to normal.

Bravo Galena!

And I expect the other mums at school will be making snide comments about her for years to come.

Don't like her approach. Never looks at the cause, only the effect. I prefer Tanya Bryon who is a clinical psychologist and looks behind the reasons for the children's behaviour, rather than just 'train' them to do what the parents want.

Yes SN works - but at what cost?

I think the issue here is more about dignity, no?

That little girl is old enough for her little friends and their parents to recognise, judge and maybe even taunt her for her behaviour as displayed on a 'family entertainment' programme.

I don't have an issue with setting boundaries and sometimes children will cry.. but if you - as a parent - change the rules drastically overnight after years of behaving in one way, you WILL distress your child. Showing that distress on national television - particularly with an older, school-going child - wouldn't be to my taste.

spybear, I agree with you. Why can't you comfort a child who is crying while still saying 'no, sorry, you need to sleep in your own bed tonight. I know you're sad, you'll feel better soon. Why not cuddle your bear?' (or just come in, give a kiss and say 'go to bed sweetie'. The goal is ACTUALLY about not 'giving in' - NOT to see how long she can cry.

This is my big ishoo with 'controlled crying' - yes, crying can be an unfortunate side-effect of 'saying no' - but it shouldn't be about 'crying for 2 minutes etc. The label makes me uncomfortable, why not 'The Sleep Alone Technique'?! (FWIW I have said 'no' with breastfeeding/milk at night etc but still been there to comfort them. Works the same)

I agree with the OP. I can never ever understand why parents expose their children like this on television. If I was having serious discipline problems with my children the very last thing I'd think of was parading them on the telly while we sorted it out. I wonder, really, are the parents themselves very attention seeking and is this at the root of a lot of the problems.