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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not remind either of my brothers that it is mothers day tomorrow ??

28 replies

MrsMorgan · 13/03/2010 22:15

???

Just spoke to my dad (parents are divorced) and he said 'oh i'll go and remind them'. I said don't you bloody dare.

They are 29 and 35, and have gf's so there is no way that they don't know, they just want someone to make them do something about it. That someone is normally me, but not this time.

OP posts:
LilQueenie · 14/03/2010 01:19

YANBU if they deliberatly do not make the effort themselves.

ben5 · 14/03/2010 03:53

i wouldn't remind them either.

gtamom · 14/03/2010 05:40

Undecided. Need more details.
Have they ever totally forgotten it in the past, and if so, how did your mother take it?

BAFE · 14/03/2010 08:14

They know it's mothers day today. It's beenn all over the shops, tv and papers for weeks. They just can't actually be bothered to do something, which different to not knowing its mothers day.

YANBU

franke · 14/03/2010 08:19

No it's not your job to remind them if you don't want to. But I don't think it's up to you to tell others not to remind them either.

Tortington · 14/03/2010 08:21

poor mum gets nothing from her sons becuase no one will cattle prod two useless fuckers.
poor mum

Librashavinganotherbiscuit · 14/03/2010 08:22

the problem with this, and I agree they should remember and do something by themselves, is that the person who gets hurt by the outcome is your mum.

groundhogs · 14/03/2010 08:27

My sister, who is the sweetest, most thoughtful person on earth (IMHO obviously) often needed reminding, even when she lived in London.

I still remind her, now she lives in NYC... but there, the home of Hallmark, it's somewhat harder to overlook.

StewieGriffinsMom · 14/03/2010 08:28

This reply has been deleted

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bamboobutton · 14/03/2010 08:30

perhaps they think mothers day is too comercialised(sp?) and are making a stand?

i find family texting etc grown adults to remind them really patronising.
SIL does it to DH over every calander event and it makes him froth that she thinks he's too thick to remember without her help.

sanielle · 14/03/2010 08:43

Groundhogs seems most unfair on your sister....as home of hallmark it may be, but mothers day is in may in america! Would be a bit late for her to buy a card then!

groundhogs · 14/03/2010 08:49

No, apparently mothers day is the same in the US, it's fathers day that is different.

I used to live in Brazil, and there fathers day was the same, but mothers day was different.... oh yes and Valentines Day... June 12 or something! Mind you, this was the late 80s, so no way of sending anything back to the UK, cards, no emails not even texts... I used to fax only!

heQet · 14/03/2010 08:54

I think that if they have to be chivvied then anything they do do as a result of being nagged is meaningless. It doesn't come from love or a desire to spoil the person, but as a result of someone else saying you must make this gesture.

So I would agree, don't remind them.

StewieGriffinsMom · 14/03/2010 08:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

sarah293 · 14/03/2010 09:02

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ILovePlayingDarts · 14/03/2010 09:59

Mother's day in America is most definintely in May.

When my mum was an au pair in the early 60s, she forgot to send a card to her mum in March, but caused a few raised eyebrows when she sent a card in May!

diddl · 14/03/2010 10:01

If they are in UK& have a telly, I fail to see how they can´t know!

sayithowitis · 14/03/2010 10:23

YANBU not to remind them, but YABVU not to remind them when the only person who is going to be hurt is your mum! Why do you think it is ok to allow your mum to be hurt? Is it because you want to appear the better child because you remembered and they didn't? Is there a touch of jealousy that she will gush over whatever they send and just accept whatever you do without any fuss? I think you need to look at your motives for not reminding them.

Original poster
MrsMorgan · 14/03/2010 10:44

Right so if I don't remind them, it will be my fault that my mum is hurt ??

I'll add organsing my brothers lives to my list of a million things to do then.

OP posts:
Original poster
MrsMorgan · 14/03/2010 10:44

Oh and sayithowitis, you couldn't be more wrong.

OP posts:
YouKnowNothingoftheCrunch · 14/03/2010 10:55

MrsMorgan, it's one thing not to remind them yourself. That's fine. However YABU to ask other people not to remind them. At that point you are making it your business and your responsibility.

Original poster
MrsMorgan · 14/03/2010 10:58

Ok

Wish someone would organise my life for me too.

My dad will have reminded my eldest brother anyway, whatever I say. My younger brother is at his gf's, who lives next door to her mum, so there is no way that either of them do not know about it.

OP posts:
spiderpig8 · 14/03/2010 11:12

I think YABU.Of course they should remember, but at the end of the day mother's day is about your mother being happy not teaching your DB a lesson !

SugarMousePink · 14/03/2010 11:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

borderslass · 14/03/2010 11:28

my mum and I was talking the other day my db has been a shit to my mum and won't do anything for her I said we'd soon see on Sunday, well surprise surprise she got nothing not even a card off him or his girls.