In disagreeing with my husband when he says that relationships only succeed if one party changes himself/herself completely to suit the other- and none of the 'meet in the middle' philosophy ' works?

[FullTImeWOrkingCommutingMum]

As he is getting older , my DH is reverting back to the person he was before I met him- he says that being 40 makes you shed all your masks- now I feel the only way we can be happy together is for me to accept that and supprt him through all his current work worries/etc- rather than fussing about how unsupported i feel

But he must have taken his bins out before he met you OP.

So how is not doing the bins, him removing the mask and going back to how he was before he met you?

Unless before he met you his mum did the bins?

as well!

Well, he has now declared that 'bins will be his department and no longer my problem' - but he will need reminding every now and again- let's see how that works

How about you ask him to put the bin out and he does it straight away?

You could set a reminder for the bins on his mobile phone. That should be almost as annoying as his bizarre comments...

I don't think that is entirely true but I do believe that relationships are only successful when one is giving significantly more than the other. Could be anything, more time, more willingness to compromise, more support. In all the "successful" relationships I see around me and in my own there is always an unequal balance of power. Someone is ALWAYS getting a little more out of it than the other.

I think i agree with you on that, steel fairy, even though I hate to admit it- I have countless examples around me to prove that theory- the old paradigm of who wears the trousers in the house- sad though, in this day and age?

I like the mobile phone idea belle dame

Is he prone to melodrama?

"I am going to remove the mask, I tire of subsuming my whole being for this relationship" = "I can't be arsed to do the bins"

"Why? WHY? I feel so neglected, I need peace to be me, to be at one" = "I'm not keen on curry and we've had it two weeks in a row now"

etc

lol

i think he is a bit

Then laugh at him is my advice ]grin]