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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to be annoyed by collegue flirting with the boss?

8 replies

porcamiseria · 12/03/2010 15:23

The irony is that when this girl started she saw another young-un flirting and hugging the men and said to me "is that how you have to be to get ahead here". Anyway, the years pass, and she blossoms.

She now works for the top man, and recently complained to me about his innopropriate behaviours with her , he bascially wants to fxxk her and has made some off colour comments in meetings. blueghhhh.

But I have noticed recently that she is not exactly discouraging his attentuion, always laughing, smiling, joking, and was even tactile today. She has a lovely fella so god knows whats going on.

anyway, her efforts seem to bear fruit as she is now likely for promotion.

The reason this bugs me is
(a) she is promoted over an equally capable collegue of mine, seems unfair . As I am having to deal with the upset of the passed over collegue and its all bit awkward TBH

(b) she has poured scorn on people that do this, and has been quite spiteful about top mans other conquests, seems a bit hypocritical IMO

I probably sound like a jealous old hag! But my main issue is I am finding it hard to look her in the eye and we are friends and collegues.

anyway, you lot are usually blunty honest....

OP posts:
BrahmsThirdRacket · 12/03/2010 15:26

YANBU to be bugged, but that's office life. She's trying to get ahead any way she can. It may backfire on her, maybe not.

porcamiseria · 12/03/2010 20:19

it saddens me, but thats life eh! makes me not want to have daughters sometimes....

OP posts:
starkadder · 12/03/2010 20:22

Men do it too though; I had a colleague who made me feel sick as he was always going on "lads' nights out" with the boss, chatting up girls together, etc - all "best mates" and then totally bitching about it behind the boss's back. It was horrible.

But it worked; he's now one of the most important people in the company...

...and I am handing my notice in on Monday...

BrahmsThirdRacket · 12/03/2010 20:22

Hopefully she won't expect to be able to rely on such tactics for her entire career! It defo reaches a point where you can't get away with it anymore

honie · 12/03/2010 20:38

I think you are being a bit UR for assuming that this is why she is up for promotion. Unless of course you are privvy to all the details? Have you seen all the info/files, sat in on the meetings? Your friend may have flaws that you dont see, but are apparent to the bosses.

A lot of rumours where I work that I kept my job over a bloke during redundancies because my boss wants to sleep with me. Total bollocks. I put more time and dedication in and am more of a company person - I still had to listen to the snide digs though. It was and still is horrible and makes it more stressful at work as I have to prove myself constantly - whilst trying to cover a job 3 people used to.

If a bit of flirting gets you to the top in your company then thats shocking. Even putting out completely gets ignored in mine ;)

porcamiseria · 12/03/2010 21:14

I dont mind her getting ahead, I just think its sad she fawns over the boss. makes me lose respect. and saddens me that less fit less flirty one is sidelined. hey ho

OP posts:
MorrisZapp · 12/03/2010 21:33

Maybe she actually fancies him and is flirting for it's own sake.

Offices are full of flirting and I've never heard of it getting anybody ahead in any tangible way.

There's a guy at work I flirt with all the time and I too have a lovely partner. To me it's harmless, and as long as it stays lighthearted it's no problem to anybody.

overweightnoverdrawn · 13/03/2010 00:53

did you say you dont mind her getting head lol

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