AIBU about finances!

[OTTMummA]

If my DP raves on about living on a budget these days as i do not work ( he doesn't mind me not working it was his idea )
and counts every penny i spend on food shop and coffee 2x a week ( i rarely spend on myself these days anyway )
and has a go at me when i bought him a new shaver for anniversary ( thought it would be nice idea for him as he'd mentioned it ) and then having to cut down food budget for next 3 weeks to make up for it, AIBU to think i should moan and complain about him buying me O2 Tickets for Lady GaGa in may?
I mean, yes im estatic he's done it, but the tickets cost over £100, and when i spent less than this for him recently he went off on one about the budget, even though he spends more than me by a mile, im in charge of food shop as i plan and cook the meals etc. and get DS new clothes as and when etc.
i mean why does he moan at me for buying buiscuits at coffee with DFIL and then do this?!
i am very confused, im pretty sure if i had asked if we could afford for me to go he would of said, probably no.

very controlling to go through what you spend

if you are partners, the money should be shared

Are you happy not working outside the home?

No matter what he says he gives the impression by his behaviour that he thinks he should be entitled to more control of the money than you.

To change this for you, you need to think about getting a job too. You can't change him.

How do you feel about not working?

ruby, we chose for me not to go back to work as we didn't like the nurserys here and no decent childminders had spaced available.

he doesn't really count the exact pennies, but if i buy a slightly more expensive thing / cut of meat etc he moans until he tries what ive made for dinner then says, oh that was great, can we have that next week lol.
i don't find him controling, im probably the boss in the relationship, but he's better with money than me.

do you have a joint account?

how does he know what you spend?

you may be used to it, but i don't think i would or could put up with it

"very controlling to go through what you spend"

not necessarily. We are short of money and on a very, very tight budget at the moment and we have to account for every penny. We're constantly going through what we each spend looking for ways to cut back. There's no room for discretionary income for either of us.

The thing is though that it's mutual and we don't criticise each other's spending. It's more "I need to watch how much I'm spending on lunches" or "if I start cycling we can save £60 a month on train fare" (I know! £60!).

It's not fair of him to be on your case about spending and then spend more himself. It's your money just as much as it is his. If you need to be careful and not go out for coffee then he needs to make equivalent concessions.

If you can't spend money on an expensive present for him, then he shouldn't do it for you.

Buying expensive presents is pretty much a classic way of getting around this kind of problem - "you can't be annoyed with me, you should be grateful, I've been so generous"

Really there is no generosity when buying for a spouse, only thoughtfulness. He's spending your money on you.