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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think my neighbour has a cheek

39 replies

shhhgobacktosleep · 12/03/2010 10:11

So the history is that neighbour and I used to be good friends. About 6 months ago she started blanking me and has not uttered a single word to me since. I cannot think of a single reason why this might be and always tried to be a good friend - there for her when she needed me, fed her and her children on more than one occassion, walked her dog regularly when she was too busy to etc etc. Her dh still speaks but she will send the children out to bring him into the house if she sees him Generally its all a bit odd.

So rather than try and figure out what was happening I decided to just let go and have happily moved on.

However have just had a knock at the door from a delivery guy with a parcel for her and he said she has left a note telling him to leave it with me. AIBU to think that she is a cheeky bitch to think this will be ok after being so rude and off with me for 6months, particularly after the postman informed me that she refused to take in a parcel for my ds over Christmas which meant that he didn't get his present from his grandparents until the collection office reopened after christmas. Surely she shoud have at least knocked and asked if this was ok?

OP posts:
Hassled · 12/03/2010 10:13

People are barking. Maybe you should hold the parcel to ransom until she spills the beans re what exactly you did wrong 6 months ago.

nickytwotimes · 12/03/2010 10:15

Be the better person and take it in. (Guessing you already have)

People are odd.

2shoes · 12/03/2010 10:20

i wouldn't have taken it

Eglu · 12/03/2010 10:25

I would not have taken the parcel either.

bibbitybobbityhat · 12/03/2010 10:25

A note through her door:

"I can't believe you had the nerve to instruct the delivery driver to leave your parcel with me after blanking me for the last six months and not taking in ds's parcel just before Christmas. I think you owe me an explanation."

I am all for keeping the peace but, honestly, don't be a doormat! Do not let her get away with this shoddy behaviour.

Guadalupe · 12/03/2010 10:26

Did you take it?

amber1979 · 12/03/2010 10:30

I'd just give her the parcel and forget about it.

Be the better person. Life is too short to give a shit about this kind of thing.

Original poster
shhhgobacktosleep · 12/03/2010 10:31

I took the parcel but she's not home to collect it. I feel like a doormat but hate confrontations and am probably too nice for my own good LOL

I may try and build up the courage to say something when she comes to collect it.

OP posts:
bibbitybobbityhat · 12/03/2010 10:40

I bet she sends her dh or one of her kids to collect it. I hate confrontations too but come on, chin up, we're all here to support you .

MissAnneElk · 12/03/2010 10:44

I'd ask her why she's stopped speaking if she calls for the parcel. But I reckon bibbity is right and she'll send one of the kids.

On some websites there is space to write delivery instructions if you are out when they deliver. I reckon it's a site she's used ages ago and she hasn't updated the delivery instructions and will be mortified that the parcel has been left with you...

GetOrfMoiLand · 12/03/2010 10:45

Have a quick game of footie round the kitchen with the parcel.

Serioudly, just rise above it. Don't take in any more parcels, but let this one go.

Original poster
shhhgobacktosleep · 12/03/2010 10:50

Nope MissAnneElk the note is still pinned to her front door.

Hmmm you may be right it'll be the husband or the children who come to collect.

LOL at playing footie with it Yes may be better advised to save my courage for saying NO to the next parcel - God I'm such a coward

OP posts:
msrisotto · 12/03/2010 10:51

Why don't you go round there with the parcel and ask if you have done anything to upset her because you feel like she's been ignoring you and you don't know why? Perfectly reasonable quesiton.

JaneS · 12/03/2010 10:55

Are you sure she's been intentionally blanking you? Not just busy?

I've lived with neighbours I got on with, but if I were having a busy patch I wouldn't expect them to pine over the lack of a chat over the fence. She might be totally oblivious to the fact that you're upset.

Original poster
shhhgobacktosleep · 12/03/2010 11:02

No she's blanking me - she completely ignores me if I even say "Hello" when she's out pottering in her garden. Even another neighbour has noticed and asked what I'd done to upset her LOL

I'm really not bothered by the lack of friendship, certainly not pining over it. I have other friends and my world has not collapsed at the loss of her. I just think she has a cheek tbh.

OP posts:
YanknCock · 12/03/2010 11:21

Could there have been a good reason she didn't take the parcel in at Christmas? Maybe they weren't going to be home and thought another neighbour could take it in?

regardless of that, it is quite weird to blank you for so long and then specifically instruct the postman to leave a parcel with you. Unless she's using it as an opening to start being friendly again? No, I bet she'll send kids/husband over for it. If it is husband, could you ask him what her problem is?

fanjolina · 12/03/2010 11:27

Go and dump the parcel on her doorstep now.

That's what I would do.

Cheeky cow.

JaneS · 12/03/2010 11:41

Yeah, ok, in that case, cheeky cow.

solo · 12/03/2010 11:44

You should ask her what the problem is.

My neighbour has lived next door to me for 13+ years and seemed to just stop talking to me after about a year. I used to say hello and was blanked.
I ordered some expensive dresses for my 40th some years ago and she took them in and left them crumpled on her porch floor. I was a bit , but I didn't ask for her to take them in at all and I said nothing but thank you. I had over the years always taken her parcels if the delivery man asked me to and I'd always always popped a Christmas card through, but never received one.

After my Dd was born 3 years ago, she left a note for me asking me to lop some trees. She was outside when I got the note and I just saw red and confronted her asking her why it was that she never spoke to me. She replied that she'd been wondering too. It seems that she didn't even know why she wasn't speaking to me.
As my Mum would say in her broad Yorkshire accent; 'Nowt so queer as folk!'
OP, ask your neighbour. It gets more and more uncomfortable and you start to feel anger and utter dislike for no really good reason(well I did).
My neighbour and I will never be great friends, but we speak and wave now and I do feel so much better about her.

Heated · 12/03/2010 11:48

Yes, she has a cheek.

Depends on how much it bothers you, either:
a) Hand over the parcel but resolve not to take in any more
b)Hand over the parcel, no skin off your nose, you're the better person.
c) Hand over parcel to her children and tell them you would like a word with their mother or speak directly to her dh if he's the one who comes to collect - along the lines it seems most odd that she had mysteriously not spoken to you for 6m, refused to accept a parcel from the dc's grandparents at Christmas yet has expected you to do something she is not prepared to do herself - what's going on?

I wouldn't personally leave the parcel outside her door, however tempting, in case it goes AWOL after you have signed for it.

bibbitybobbityhat · 12/03/2010 12:45

You will come back and update us won't you op?

heQet · 12/03/2010 12:48

I wouldn't have taken the parcel I tell you that!!

I bet she thinks her husband fancies you!

Original poster
shhhgobacktosleep · 12/03/2010 12:50

yes I will but she's still not home which is now irritating me too - she clearly has a life and I am here MNing cleaning the house

OP posts:
Original poster
shhhgobacktosleep · 12/03/2010 12:51

ROFLMAO heQet

OP posts:
SoupDragon · 12/03/2010 13:03

Go and add your own note to the one on her door.

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