Tired, tired, tired!

[uggmum]

My dh works away during the week and returns home on Friday evening, he leaves for work on monday mornings at 5.45am
I work Friday nights, so we only see each other Sat & Sun.
I run around after children all week, school, gym, horse riding, dancing etc.
Deal with most things on my own, parents evenings etc and running the house.
Sometimes the responsibility is too much. I find I get extremely moody on Sundays as I know a long week is coming up and I miss my dh
Does anyone else share the same experience.

Yes I do ... sometimes hubby comes home during the week but only ever twice in the week and then he is home at 9 and gone at 4.30 am ...
I find myself getting a bit lost in the middle of dealing with all the kids stuff and the housework and feel like Im on a treadmill...

We are trying hard to make the absolute best of the weekends - but its very hard isnt it ?

Yes kind of - DP works 2 wks out of every month overseas. But when he's back, he fully co-parents. Don't think I could deal with the resentment and exhaustion if he didn't. It sounds like you don;t get a break. You're basically single parenting - without the sympathy and family support that goes with that! Does you DH have to work away? Doesn't he mind the fact that he is missing out on raising his own children completely??

Yes, the weekends are too short and nothing ever gets done (diy etc).
Also he sees the kids thru rose coloured glasses and I feel like the bad parent as i'm the only one who tells them off.
At least I have discovered m&s non iron shirts so I can turn the washing around quickly.
Roll on easter with 2 bank holidays.

Yes, dh feels guilty most of the time and spends all time with children at weekends.
I was ill recently, spent weeks in hospital, his employer was great, told him to stay at home until I was better.
Recovery took months and he got me a cleaner, so I have far less housework to do.
Trying to slow my life down.
No chance of changing jobs as I/T consultant and not great climate for change. Also great employer and job is great too.

Man, how do you cope with that? My dh leaves for work at 5.30 am and comes home (just) for bed time at 7pm. He's miserable, unreasonable, exhausted, shouty, rude, horrible and moody as a result. As I have got up pretty much every night for nearly 2 years, I don't have much sympathy - I also work full-time and do all house, shopping etc. And at weekend he doesn't want to do anything but slob around watching football (V annoying) or playing XBox (even more annoying FFS). I am seriously considering if I actually want my life to be like this. Plus i hate my job, I only do it for the money to pay the osddign mortgage because we had to buy a house that HE liked. I don't eve like it!! FFS. Anyway I'd like another baby so I'd better put up and shut up for another few years anyway!

lucy85 the life you describe sounds pretty shit but YOU would like another baby?! Why with a partner like that???

The baby would be born to a resentful, exhausted, anxious, fretful mother and an immature, irritable, rude, angry, overtired Father.

Great environment for a child to grow up in .

Think about whther this is the best course of action, it's not just about you wanting another baby. It's about the impact this will have on the baby themselves, the children you already have and your family life as a whole. Is it REALLY going to make everyone happier and more fulfilled, or just add extra stres tension and exhaustion?

ugg - sounds very similar to our set up and i'm tired too. i don't think there's really a solution - i guess like mine your husband has to work away to earn enough money. i did review all my work at one stage and worked out what could be reduced/chopped - eg went from working 5 to 4 days a week. could you try doing something more special on sundays - even if just going to for a pub lunch? anyway - just wanted to say you are not alone

Thanks, dreamingofsun,
we try to cram weekends with as much as possible and eat out every sunday as a family. I have reduced my working hours to 14 per week and thats really helped

ugg - sounds like you are doing what you can. i'm currently trying not to be grumpy - which works better some days than others!

I agree with you minx. Lucy it would be far better surely to bring the child you have up, in a happier home environment, than to bring another into what you describe? It sounds awful for you all.

Ugg I sympathise - life is a treadmill when it's like that. I have to say I would rather downsize my house etc than have to live that way in the very long term. Is there any scope for change?

My DP works a similiar pattern, leaving at 5am on a Sun morn and returning home Thur PM. It exhausting, DS2 is only 18 mths and being up every day with him at stupid-o-clock sometimes feels like its going to kill me.

I am so grateful for this job though as it allows me to be a SAHM and it only works so well because DP is fantastic when he's home. We get one lie-in each and we also make sure we balance free time (so we each get at least an hr or so to ourselves) and family time as DS1 (6) misses him terribly.