to find this slightly odd?

[allaboutme]

DH's best friend (has known him for years, was each others best man) is coming to visit us with his wife. They ahve recently told us that they are expecting their first child and are obv v happy.
I find them both a bit odd tbh in general, quite blunt to the point of seeming rude sometimes (I still havent got over how rude they were at my wedding YEARS ago!!) they have never been at all intersted in children and especially not ours. When DS1 first born, they visited to bring a card and present and didnt even glance at DS, let alone hold him or say 'how lovely' etc.
Anyway, they recently got in touch and said how lovely it would be to see us before the baby is born. We thought we'd have a nice weekend and were thinking of all sorts of things we could do together, when DH friend says that they will come Fri evening and leave early Saturday am.. they had better not stay too long apparently as the children will be around and they find them a bit noisy (they are perfectly average children noise wise!!)
i do find it slightly odd that they cant face one day with children to spend time with us when they are having one of their own!!

No, we need to know all about the wedding so we can Judge accordingly.

I reckon the wife just doesn't really like you and your DH, for whatever probably bizarre reason.

I would love to know what they did at your wedding.

I also would find myself too busy for a visit.

Ok bad wedding behaviour coming up
Please do tell me if I was being a bridezilla and it wasnt that bad at all though... I'd be interested to have other peoples opinions!

Wedding was overseas in beautiful, hot country. We'd decided to have v small wedding instead of big bash at home so that we could ourselves pay for most of the guests expenses.
Only close family invited plus one bridesmaid and one best man. We paid for all flights and accommodation for 1 week for everyone except for partners of bridesmaid and best man who were invited but asked to pay their own flights if they'd like to come. DH friend and his partner decided to make it a 2 week hol and go off for the 2nd week on their own, all fine, we booked their return flights a week later no problem.
We all flew out on a Tuesday for the wedding on the Saturday. All stayed in apartment complex which we had entirely to ourselves, everyone had their own apartment. DH parents hosted dinner for everyone a couple of times including big bbq's, we had a swimming pool etc. Everyone got on well.
Wedding on the Sat went perfectly. All planned to fly home on the next Tues. Me and DH due to fly off honeymoon and DH friend and partner due to jet off for 2nd week of their hols on the Tuesday also.
We, by chance, saw them sneaking off down the road on the Sunday (the day after the wedding and 2 days before they were due to leave) with their suitcases. When we asked, they said they were heading off to their next destination early as they wanted to make the most of their part of the holiday!! They only said goodbye to us because we caught them leaving and they didnt say goodbye to anyone else at all, or even thank DHs parents who'd cooked for them and hosted a lot of it! I was furious, especially comsidering we'd paid for a good chunk of their holiday in the first place!!
Even DH parents thought it staggeringly rude and they always see the best in everyone!

RUDE!! Certainly not a Bridzilla moment. I would have been very hurt.

Back to the original post, IMO when you love your friends, you love their children too (even if you don't actually love them), you make an effort to hang out with them, play, get to know them, etc. They are a massive part of your friends' life, you can't possibly ask/expect parents to divide their time into adult v's children. Thus, I think your 'friends' are being very unreasonable. Twice.

They sound incredibly rude and a bit self absorbed. Maybe having a baby will knock that out of them.

I seem to be the opposite to most people on here. Before I had dd and ds I couldn't get enough of other people's small children, constantly offering to babysit, taking them to the cinema, walking around for hours with teething babies etc (I have 6 Godchildren, as a result). Once I had my own, well, other children just lost their fascination for me. They just weren't as cute and good looking and interesting .

OMG they sound horrible. I honestly don't think I would ever forgive someone for behaving like that. You were certainly not being a bridezilla.

btw - I don't think having a baby tends to make people less self-absorbed at all! I think it makes people's world shrink to the size of their family unit, which is fine on the whole but when you combine it with the selfishness of these people I think I'd want to stay well away once they've got a child! You'd find yourself at the mercy of the baby's routines, or having to hand over all your children's toys to appease their toddler and watching while they trash your house and their parents smile indulgently.

Are you sure they aren't travelling on somewhere else from your house and just using you for free B&B?

I thought that before I even read the wedding post, very rude why not just say we've planned to go earlier!!

They were certainly BU at your wedding. That's what's commonly known as Taking Liberties

however when I was pregnant with my first, the last thing I wanted to do was spend time with other folks' dcs, and I hated the automatic assumption that I would want to do it. Oh no. I wanted to lie about in bed, chomping McDonalds and watching telly, not being climbed all over by kids I didn't know from a can of paint...

I'm surprised you still see them after the wedding thing - definitely not bridezilla I would have been hurt and angry at such rudeness!

Think you should cancel, they sound like really awful people. Having people who dislike children to that extent in your children's home, well I think it's not really fair on the kids tbh!
I hope they aren't rude to them if they do come.

Are they going somewhere else and using you as a free cheap overnighter?

they sound v odd and strange, my FiL is v like this, am astonished as his bahaviour sometimes.

However re the dcs thing, I don't really like other peoples dcs, I hate having them round and always breathe a sigh of relief when they're gone, I find play dates hellish and also hate it when people just bung their babies on me. I love my family and enjoy spending time with them but literally cannot stand the whole "kiddie" thing hanging round at playgrounds, theme parks etc.

We don't have other families to stay at all! Too stressful!

For me it's one of the biggest downsides to parenting, but I force myself to do it through gritted teeth.

Let's hope they get an extremely noisy baby! A friend of mine who's very much into the shouldbeseenandnotheard of children (even at 29) has just given birth to a real screamer. Te Heeee.

Thanks for spilling the beans re wedding - terrible behaviour. Do they actually like being with you? Or do they just use you? Let them stay the night but give them the treat of being woken by your dcs jumping on them at 6am!