to take DS to a party he's not invited to

[racmac]

A lady at DS's school has 2 children - 1 of which is in DS age 9 class, the other is in pre school with DS age 4.

She is having a joint party at a soft play centre but only DS9 is invited.

They are hiring the whole place - it will only be invited children there.

She has right to invite whoever she chooses to party - I dont mind that DS4 not invited.

Here's my problem - i have no one else to look after DS4 or DS age 2 - i asked if ok to take them and pay them in she said thats fine

BUT DS 4 is going to be asking why he's not getting party food or party bag etc etc

Not sure what to do - feel it might cause problems to take him but cant let DS 9 miss out on party

I don't know how I feel about this! A friend of mine has a similar problem - her 5yo DD was invited to a friends party at a soft play thing, and the mum asked if she could pay to bring her 2yo DS with her (made it clear she was not expecting a goody bag for the uninvited) - that was fine...

But I also agree that siblings need to have their own friends and things to do, and realise that they can't always hang onto what their older/younger brother/sister is doing...

Maybe just not go out again, ever...

If its possible to just drop your older DS and leave then thats probably easiest thing, but if you do have to stay with your younger one then Im sure it will be fine as long as you tell the mother,she may even invite him in for the party food and there may be a spare party bag. My son has been to loads of partys where I have had to bring my 3 yr old to, and she has always been welcomed and on occasion invited for the food and given a party bag, if she didnt it never turned into a problem she just enjoyed the party. Hope it turns out ok for you, I know it can be annoying, when I hired a hall for my sons party I made sure I had plenty of food and a few extra bags cos I was aware that some parents have no choice but to bring there other children.

agree with others, drop your nine year old and take the others somewhere else. Simples.

I would have no hesitation at all in saying pay for the younger child to play if it wasn't for the fact that the mum has paid for exclusive hire.

During exclusive hire the centre isn't open to the public so I assume they won't take payments for an individual child.

I don't see a problem-drop the 9 yr old off and pick him up at the end-you are then free to either go home or take the others somewhere else.

cant one of your ds friends parents take him?

Don't stay at the party. Your older DC is 9; he doesn't need a mum hovering around at a party. The other mum doesn't need an extra child there either, or you either.

DS is 7, I don't stay at parties with him.

Actually I think YANBU to wonder if you can bring your 4yo along - it's a bit thoughtless that she wasn't invited when the mum must have known her sibling was being invited by her DS. I would def call her and let her know you;re bring your 4yo too. It's not a big deal to rustle up one extra party bag.

It would be a big deal for me if I was hosting the party! It is rude in the extreme. At 9 yrs old I would expect them to be left-I wouldn't expect even the adults-never mind more children.

Can't you share lifts with someone? You take their kid as well as your nine year old and they can collect yours as well as their own. That way, once you have done your drive there and back that's it.

Er quick suggestion perhaps a magazine in car for you or trip to a coffee shop, fruit shoot and comic for ds aged 4=problem solved YABU. You do NOT have to shadow a 9 year old at a party. What are other parents doing if they can't wait at home? Erm obviously one of the above! You will stick out like a sore thumb and get a rep (however undeserving) as a slightly over protective and certainly irritating parent!

@neverchuck and it ain't much fun for the dps of the birthday star having uninvited parents there. It might "cramp their style" and how could they possibly enjoy an unadulterated (bitch fest) useful character appraisal of other parent's dc's it will hardly be the same with your big/little ears flapping in the corner

I was thinking precisely the same as pippop - lift share with one of the other mums who has a 9 year old attending (presumably you know most of them?) - then the issue is resolved.

@neverchuckanoki ROFL have you got a split personality? You are winking at yourself you know!But yay you speak much common sense car,comic magazine SORTED!

cat64 - the DD is 4 and she is having joint party with her big brother who is 9 - so DS wouldnt be out of place - apparently she didnt want any boys at her party

But i already said a page back - i will drop and run! Sometimes you need the obvious pointing out

if the 4yo was paid in (not sure if this would be possible anyway) would he be expected to play with his friends at the party or avoid them?