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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be very cross that a 6 year all who vomited

27 replies

ineedapoo · 10/03/2010 19:55

in school on monday when D+V is going round is allowed back in to school today. There is a 48hr exclusion rule

OP posts:
pigletmania · 10/03/2010 19:58

YANBU some parents just do not care and are quite selfish.

SingleMum01 · 10/03/2010 20:12

Its hard sometimes if you work and have no back up help therefore may send them back to school earlier than they should be. I've had occasions when my DS has been poorly and I've kept him off school for a few days and would have ideally liked to keep him off more to make sure he was 100% fit to go back but have had to go back to work. Just a thought.

StealthPolarBear · 10/03/2010 20:13

well if he vomited at 9am the 48 hours would have been up this morning - just a thought

Missus84 · 10/03/2010 20:13

The school shouldn't have accepted the child back.

Shaz10 · 10/03/2010 20:15

Some parents are very good at dumping and running! One I know sent him in with his big brother who then had to go to his school, had no chance to refuse. Lots get left in the playground and then the parents don't answer their phone when they see the school number on it.

ineedapoo · 10/03/2010 20:17

vomited in the afternoon and told the whole class how she was sick in her bed

OP posts:
bernadetteoflourdes · 10/03/2010 20:19

were there any carrots in the sick?

KimiGaveUpStarbucks4Lent · 10/03/2010 20:25

Its not carrots its the lining of your stomach

bernadetteoflourdes · 10/03/2010 21:08

I confess to feeling a little at the thought of her hurling her chunks at the home corner[

Mumcentreplus · 10/03/2010 21:29

I have to confess...I have sent in my DD when she was sick in the morning ...I didn't want to I felt like a right shit so and sad to have been put in the position...but if I didn't I probably would have not have been paid for the day I took off, also they make you feel like a flake and a liar so I have sent them in and then been called from work to collect them..employers pretend they have 'family friendly' policies but its crap they speak to you about contingencies (sp)..wtf???..how can you have a contingency for your 6yr old throwing up in your hands at 7.30 in the morning???..the pressure you feel is immense..I hate it

BooyhooNOTboohoooORbooyou · 10/03/2010 21:34

mumcentreplus i know what you mean i had to take friday off because ds2 had high temp with diahorrea. on monday i had to complete a return to work form and an action plan on what contingencies i was going to put in place to prevent this in future.

i cant send a child with diahorrea to a CM with other mindees and all my family work full time. they talk the talk re family friendly policies but when it comes down to it they dont care.

wrt OP yanbu.

ineedapoo · 10/03/2010 21:35

I do understand mummy this Mum doesn't work though

OP posts:
BooyhooNOTboohoooORbooyou · 10/03/2010 21:39

well that's just unnacceptable IMO.

PandaEis · 10/03/2010 21:40

i agree mumcentreplus my old employer was like that the HR woman said she had "not taken a day off for a child sickness in 20 years working here" i asked how old her children were she said "i have one 28 year old daughter" i said thats why then dont you think my DD (then 3) went through a spate of catching every bug going (she caught the hand,foot and mouth virus from a child at the childminders who bit her he had the virus fairly obviously on his hands and face and the CM then refused my DD as "she could infect the others"the other child was not refused however) and i had a few emergency days off that were agreed to by my manager who then built a case against me and i was 'dismissed from employment' at my performance review its ridiculous as it is a very public company who pride themselves on fair treatment and family friendly policies etc

Sassybeast · 10/03/2010 21:41

YANBU and it's symptomatic of the 'I'm all right jack' nature of our society. For every parent who sends a puking child into school because they won't make other arrangements, there will be another couple of parents who DO take the time off/go without pay/get it in the ear from their boss but who do it because they care about the effect that their actions have on the health and well being of other kids and those more vulnerable people that they may infect. Can you tell it's a recurring theme in my life at the minute ? The guidelines are there for a reason and I'd be asking the head what they do about minimising the spread of D&V bugs.

IwishIwasmoreorganised · 10/03/2010 21:41

OP - YANBU.

It is awful having to 'phone work just as you are due in becaue one of your dc is ill and not able to go to school or nursery, but imo it's part of being a parent. If the kids are ill and can't go, then either Dh or I has to have a day off work to stay with them. We have no family locally who can cope with ill kids so it's down to us. End of story.

PandaEis · 10/03/2010 21:42

when i say 'a few' i mean literally 3 days over 2 occasions (2 on one occasion, 1 on the other)

PandaEis · 10/03/2010 21:44

oh and OP- YANBU! but sometimes it is really unavoidable-esp if the employer is being an arse

Mumcentreplus · 10/03/2010 21:55

Yes I agree its part of being a parent..but when you have more than one its harder...as one gets better the other comes down with it...and sometimes its hardly about not making arrangements..you just cant!...my DH leaves for work at 5am...but I agree thats why sometimes I take the day/s off and get the bollocking etc...but losing money is another matter...I would not do it if I had the choice believe me..it cuts me up inside

Missus84 · 10/03/2010 22:02

Mumcentreplus - the reason schools and childcare have an exclusion policy for D&V is to protect all the other children and staff. You may not get paid for taking a day off, but neither do lots of other people - if you send your sick child in it's ok for you but they could infect lots of other children.

Mumcentreplus · 10/03/2010 22:28

That does not change the fact that the money I lose affects my family and its just that simple.. if it didn't then i wouldn't care..its quite obvious that my children became sick from another child being sent in sick...its a circle..as I have said if I didn't feel forced into the situation I would never do it..but I understand those in my position..its life and it sucks royally...not making excuses..telling it how it is..

Notalone · 10/03/2010 23:20

Mumcentreplus - yes its hard when you have an unsympathetic boss but it is selfish sending your child in if they have been sick. It can't be nice for them being at school all day feeling unwell and lots of others parents are in the same boat. I suffer from emetephobia (fear of being sick) as do lots of others on MN and if I know a child who has been sick recently is in class with DS I am terrified. Yes, absolutely terrified and I would not be able to sleep or eat properly for a week for worrying that my family would come down with it. I appreciate the fact that sometimes it is inevitable that bugs do go round, but the risk is minimised with the 48 hour rule. Parents who don't abide by this rule make my blood boil.

Mumcentreplus · 10/03/2010 23:30

I agree its selfish and i hate it...I'm not going to pretend...and i do try my best to abide by the rule but i cant afford to loose over £200 for those 48hrs and sometimes thats what it is.. I've done it only in desperate times but its too much to lose..esspecially when it was caught at school anyway??.. I get your point...not everyone is in the same boat and not everyone can afford it..thats my point if I was home and able to be there I would'nt do it..but thats not where I am..

Notalone · 11/03/2010 08:45

Mumcentre - I sympathise with you. Really I do. It sounds like you are absolutely torn by this and I wish there was a better way around it for you. I just know that awful feeling I get when Ds says there is a sick bug in his class. I can think of nothing esle all week and its awful

SpawnChorus · 11/03/2010 08:55

Mumcentreplus - I can see that you genuinely feel bad about it, but it's still NOT ON. You're spreading the problem on to other parents in a similar or worse situation. Do you consider immuno-compromised relatives for whom it may actually be a life or death situation?

And I really feel for your kids...it's beyond rotten to be stuck at school feeling really ill. You need to find a better employer or have some sort of emergency babysitter. You might feel like you're taking the only feasible option, but there really are other other solutions to this.

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