In wishing people would stop commenting and insulting my parenting?

[SirBoobAlot]

Comments I received today:

DS crying on bus due to colic. A lovely man saying in a loud voice to his neighbour, "Children shouldn't be left with parents who can't look after them properly."

Bus driver looking at buggy: "Don't you think you're a bit young for one of those?"

Two older ladies in cafe looking at DS, who I had taken the trousers off as he was too hot (was very warm in cafe): "If that was my child, he would be dressed appropriately."

And this is just today. Is really getting on my wick!! I know people will always have opinions, and I probably am being slightly unreasonable, but is it really nessicary? Really?!

You look pretty young (especially compared to me!).

Yeah you do look young. But so what? You need to cultivate that "fuck off" look. Mine is pretty good btw.

You're little boy looks like you - very cute

ah yes, but you are young, and in a place where my Mum is still called a 'girl' by random men... (she is not quite drawing her pension, but close)

still, Lactivation for the nation I say

frankly i think, if you are seen in public with a baby, and with no-one else, the assumption is you are a single mother (regardless of age), if you have two small kids the assumption is you don't know how to use contraception, and if you have three - they think you're a childminder.

i meant to also say - you have a lovely complexion, which the likes of myself look back wistfully upon and wonder how to reproduce fom a jar....

those comments are so rude! poor you
you do look young but not too young to have kids, how old are you anyway?
i can't believe people are saying comments to mums of 23 and 26 that they are too young and what teen mums spend their money on etc, thats crazy! not everyone wants to wait til 30 or 40 to have kids
how do you react to these comments? if i got all that i would probably either really insult them back or burst into tears, depending on my mood. i feel lucky not 2 have got much comments myself now reading this
but OP just ignore them im sure you are a great mum & they need to mind their business

SirBoobAlot - you look about 15, you lucky mare! [jealous emoticon]

MrsVidic what anice person you are! I am sure I couldn't be that generous and unruffled!

Er, you look very young to me.

You do look young and pretty and your baby looks v cute. Some people are cheeky bananaheads, frankly. The bagel man at a train station one berated me for being a teenage mum of twins (I was in my late 20s at the time!).

I'm 18, so I guess I am pretty young... But still. looses train of thought with baby-brain Ah yes. Age doesn't equal ability, not with everything, if indeed anything.

Thanks for the comments about DS, I think he's rather handsome, not that I'm biased, mind you

Eggy - Thank you.

Ach, don't take any notice of them.

I was 16 when I got pregnant with my eldest daughter. I remember being in school uniform on the bus, and needing to ask the driver to stop the bus to be sick at the side of the road ( classy eh! but what can you do when yoy are having MONSTER morning sickness). Two old biddies at the back of the bus said in a stage whisper ' she must be on drugs; she's too young to be pregnant'

My DS was crying on the bus a few weeks back (he'd been rather poorly). Whilst trying to comfort him in my favourite "no-nonsense-but-what's-the-point-he's-a-baby-and-hasn't-got-a-clue" manner, overheard a "lovely" old lady saying, "Oh, poor child. He must be missing his mother! Why do women go back to work and leave their children with complete strangers these days? etc" I was inexplicably furious and would have liked to call her out on it, but did nothing I mean, how many prejudices/insults can one cram into a single short bus journey??

I have now decided that I shall have Lemonmeringue's death stare ready for next time!

Asana If you ever see her again I hope you do tell her exactly where to get off. However - your son is gorgeous, and you are stunning, so take no notice!! nosy at profiles emotion

Dandy - No words. Simply:

DandyLioness, that had me in stitches Maybe she meant to say your DD was pretty but it came out all wrong (you can hope!).

Thanks SirBoobALot You and your DS are absolutely lovely! I think it was less the whole mistaking me for the "hired help" (yes, she also managed to fit that little tidbit in at some point!), but the judginess about mothers who choose/have to go back to work that really got my goat. Ah well, I live in hope of bumping into her again and seeing what other 'tidbits' she has to offer

I think the bus driver was flirting.... you're very pretty.

It's funny, I often get told that I look very young for my age but I have never had any direct comments, except for someone saying while I was pregnant "Well, I think it's very irresponsible to have a baby when you don't have a mortgage". OK then. Actually I think it's quite responsible of me - I would be in trouble now if I did have one, as a single mum.

Asana, my MIL sometimes comes and stay for a visit when my husband (usually primary carer) has a work trip, and looks after our daughter during the day. My next door neighbour, every time, finds an excuse to stop her when she's trying to go to the park or whatever, and go on about working mothers and how awful it is to leave your children with someone else.

Not only are we leaving our daughter with her own grandmother for a few hours (oh no child abuse call the authorities) but my MIL is herself a working mother; she still has a teenager at home, and works part time. So my neighbour is not only insulting her SIL (because clearly none of this is my husband's responsibility, obviously) to her face, but insulting her to boot.

Ooh, it annoys me.

Oh, and Bertie, does that mean that if you've paid your house off you shouldn't have children?

I think I would kiss the bus driver who thought I was too young to have kids

I have DTs and have been asked by complete strangers quite a few times if I had IVF. Seriously in what universe are fertility issues general waiting at the checkout chit chat.

I thought that too tortoise - bad wording on his part I suppose I assume he meant get the mortgage in first before kids, or you'll never afford one. With assumption that everyone's goal in life is to get a mortgage, of course.

I'm 27 and have 4 dd's, I noticed a huge difference in how I was treated by other people when I was a single mum at 19 compared to being pg with number 4 at 25 and attatched.

Recently I have been asked how many dads they have, if I'm justdoing it for a boy and that surely I can't have anymore as it's just not normal!

It seems that people just like to comment nowdays and don't seem to have any manners or reservations about talking to strangers and asking prying questions. I did giggle though when dp was doing something with dd4 and an old lady said "oh aren't grandchildren a treat" poor dp nearly cried (although he is old enough to be their grandad @45 as my dad is only 11 months older!)

Some of the retorts on this thread have been great, I might try some out the next time someone wants to interview me in the bus queue!