to be cross with DH for waking sleeping DS at 6am to change his wet bed?

[captainhook]

DS is rising four and just started going nappyless at night, on his instigation. 3 dry nights but last night was a sog-fest. Bed was wet when we came up - changed it - then he arrived in our room at 1.30am with wet pyjamas - changed those ...

At 6am DH wakes to find DS sleeping peacefully in the middle of our bed, in a large puddle! I also asleep. DH lifts DS out, changes pyjamas, changes bedsheet - thus and inevitably to my mind waking DS up thoroughly and with no chance of him getting any more sleep before the alarm goes off at 7!

Was I BU to feel it would have been far better to let him (and us) get an extra hour's sleep, albeit in damp conditions? He's been very tired since starting nursery class 5 mornings. Or am I a hopeless slut?

Should add that I would never leave a child in a wet bed/ wet nappy for extended periods - if bed was wet during the night and he's asleep, would always lift, change and settle him to sleep again. And if DS wakes with a wet bed/ wet nappy, will ALWAYS change and make him comfortable. It's just that 6am is the witching hour when if he wakes, there is NO chance of getting him off again.

Thoughts appreciated!

Blimey, I stand corrected! Apart from smupcakes anyway ...

I do take the point that it wasn't me who was awake in the wet bed! And DH is indeed superb about sorting out very many middle-of-the-night issues.

Re the nappies issue, he vehemently refused a night nappy 4 nights ago and given his age it seemed worth the attempt. He's had 3 previous dry nights on the trot so my feeling is it's worth carrying on to assess the proportion of dry to wet nights. However if nights like last night are in any way regular then I completely agree that it's back to nappies!

I am probably short my own sleep at mo and very conscious of exhausted crankiness of DS. Or I am indeed more of a grotball than I realise.

OK - I will be very nice to DH this evening!

euch does your bed now smell like wee? I hope you all had showers this morning.

YABU - why would you want to lie in a wet bed?

maybe you should try getting your child up to have a wee when you and your DH go to bed in the evening, that way he has an empty bladder and might last until morning.

I did that a few times with my DC and it worked.

probably for your sake maybe he should have left him but in my house neither my dp or i would be able to leave him and feel comfortable doing so laying in cold wee etc no way he'd be all smelly and horrid would much rather have him up but then saying that my ds is always up between 5 and 6 anyway lol

i think what he did was very thoughtful and kind

Yes, we are lifting him when we go to bed and 3 nights out of 4 it's worked.

Yes, of course DS has been washed off in the morning, and we all shower! And the bed doesn't smell because all the sheets have gone in the wash!

The only thing I'd like to make clear in my own defence is that it was a judgement call about DS's comfort - the reason being that I knew full well he would be miserable if woken at that time, and my bleary brain felt that he would have got more out of an extra hour's kip and being woken and changed an hour later.

Obviously a judgement call that no-one but me would make!

I retire to prepare a large supply of dry sheets for tonight

Put him back in nappies. Honestly. Lifting isn't getting him used to lasting all night - it's just emptying his bladder so that with luck he'll last til morning.

FWIW we had a 'one pee in the bed and the nappies go back on' rule.
DD1 hated wearing a nappy but that was the rule, so she was extra determined not to wet the bed.
Plus you could be doing endless washing through the night and that's more of a PITA than putting a nappy on.

YABU

what all the others said plus what kind of message are you giving your DS about wetting himself and it being OK to lie around in it...eeeeewwwwww?

Honestly - I retire!

A good lesson in taking a flaming gracefully I suppose

Am now off to be very nice to my DH who is clearly more in agreement with the rest of the normal world than I am!

And rest assured if this carries on he will be back in nappies - I've no interest either in changing the bed night after night, nor in pushing him to go through the night before he's ready.

I speak as someone who has another tab open in my web browser, looking at replacement toddler bed mattresses .

JBs rule might help - or at least, insist on a nappy if your DS wants to come into your bed.

Hope that you all have a better night tonight!

I would have left him sleeping if it were me, if he was uncormfortable or cold at all, he would have woke up

but dont be angry at you dh, no harm done either way

Dont know why you got so many faces though

After the 2nd wee I would have put him in a nappy.

I would not like to be in a bed which was wet with wee, so I would be delighted if DH took the initiative to change the bed etc so that we could at least have half an hour of cuddles/dozing in a warm dry bed before the alarm went.

You have taken this very gracefully OP

Captainhook, Personally I'm with you, if you and ds were still asleep (hence didn't know you were lying in pee) I think it would have been better for your DH to leave it, let you sleep till the alarm, or you woke anyway.

Those people who say "why would you want to lie in piss?" well you wouldn't, but if you don't know, cos you are asleep, what difference would it make to lie in it for an hour?

Obviously you wouldn't send a child (or anyone) to get back into a wet bed, but if they are asleep, I would leave them be.

I never knew that leaving a child to sleep in a pissy bed was something anyone would actually do.
I'm really, really surprised.
Agree with someone earlier who said that if he's going to be out of nappies then getting up to go to the toilet is part of the deal - you'll have to get used to him waking for that.
I was really lucky with ds, as soon as he was dry in the day he got himself up to go to the toilet in the night even though he had a nappy on. So through absolutely no effort or skill on my part he was dry at night within a couple of days of being dry in the day.
He still has quite big cup of milk before bed and I find that getting him up to go to the toilet around 1am if he hasn't been already that is enough and he'll be fine til he gets up in the morning.
It sounds like maybe he is not at the point where feeling wet - either a wet nappy or wet PJs etc - bothers him. Nothing wrong with that, it'll come in its own time.
I'd probably get him back in the nappies for now, there's no harm in waiting. But If you really want to persevere then I'd spend a few nights getting him up to the toilet every couple of hours, it needn't be as diruptive as it sounds and will hopefully get him used to not the feeling of being dry.

Lol lol lol at the idea of sleeping for an hour in a wet pee-soaked bed is some kind of treat for anyone.

YABU!

i think if you dont know about it then ok both asleep not bothering would have no choice but to leave if both sleeping, but dh new he was wet and i would struggle knowing and then leaving i guess if you know your made to care and clean it up if your asleep and dont know then obviously nothing you can do

but personally i couldn't knowingly leave my child like that its built in to make them warm and cosy