He's at it again!

[bernadetteoflourdes]

I am truly sorry to have to unburden myself to the mnet community (again) with this sorry tale of woe but I had nowhere to turn and am truly mortified at the prospect of revealing all to anyone (including close family and friends) in RL You were all so helpful and supportful with the last debacle a few years ago and I am in need of the same heart felt advice and warmth again. For those of you that don't know me my dh was caught "inflagrante" by yours truly pleasuring himself with my batterie de Cuisine. Anyway to cut to the chase he had hypnotherapy I had hyponotherapy (his seemed to work slightly better than mine!) he had regression therapy and we also underwent Primal Scream therapy with a New Age Shamen. We had a few sessions of regular relationship counselling too and dh seemed truly remorseful promising to turn over a new leaf. We fell in love all over again went on a 3 week criuse last year and I thought we were both in a "good" place. Well how wrong could I be? This winter dh has been complianing of itchy feet/cabin fever
and said he needed more space. Well we can't afford tomove so he thought along the lines of a luxury Shed/Garden Room. It arrved at the end of Jan and was duly assembled and wired and fired up literally (underfloor heating the works!)Dh has been almost living out there doing his writing listening to his Vaughn Williams etc. I did not suspect a thing until last night he forgot to come to bed, I popped down at about 7.00 am and found him snoozing on the beanbags in his shed. trousers down ,legs akimbo and his Black and Decker 3 in 1 Belt sander on his belly and the contents of his emergecy tool boX scattered around .he looked like he had been having a bloody good go with the Dremmel too. There could be no innocent explanation other than he has been living a "lie" these last 2 years. I wanted no explanation this time and packed a bag and fled. I have spent all day fingers poised over my laptop not sure if I wanted to seek your good counsel but as I sit here in the Days Inn at Warwick North Services I am exhausted and beyond angry or even pity for the man.I just feel numb and robotic. Should I give him and his perfidious toolkit their marching orders. AIBsoU?

Is he enlightened to the hazards of White Finger?

Have him read that and think on. Google images for maximum effect.

In this case masturbation might indeed cause it to fall orf!

Honestly, I think you need to consider an open marriage. I'm surprised the Shaman didn't suggest this actually.

Maybe you could reach an agreement where you allow him occasional trips to B&Q. Some of them are actually very discreet and clean.

Or you could find a way to accommodate his desires - maybe you could wear a tool belt in bed??

He sounds like a complete "tool"to me. Could he not seek help and advice from those with a similar disposition? I beieve that Homebase has a very useful "self help" forum.

I have almost literally PMSL at this thread, ecomouse and claw, oh so hilarious...

what if we all clubbed together and got him some proper mens working tools? none of the Black & Decker rubbish.

How long are you going to tolerate this screwing around?

I'd have nailed him, then and there.

I think the relationship is finished when you start finding Wickes mini catalogues with sticky pages and cans of WD40 under the bed.

Right, I am back in my room and am feeling a little better. I went into Leamington Spa and had a little wander round the Boutiques and even fitted in a shampoo and set. The good news from the front is that dsil went round to the house and at my request has taken the Dyson into protective custody. She said it had not been used as plastic cover was on the plug pin, I am a lttle alarmed though as she could not find the "crevice" tool from the onboard attachments
.
She suggested starting some sort of dialogue with dh and said she would be prepared to act as go between or "mediator" to use her phrase. Dsil is really quite helpful and only has our best interests at heart bless her! In fact she also came up with the idea of us hiring a Feng Shui expert to give our house and the garden room/shed a thorough going over to find out where all this negative energy is coming from. I still can't bring myself to speak to dh yet so i might just moot the idea in a text. I will let you know what he says. And if anyone has a similar suggestion/idea they would be gratefullu considered.

lolololol

You are amazingly mental.....I am rofl..

And I knew you weren't bloody new to MN

You have hidden my thread which I feel is fairly heartless!

These technical hitches quite upset my "compis mentis" so glad MNet have ironed it out. Dh and I had a little "parley" this afternoon but as I still can't speak to him we did so through the medium of text. Anyway he was agreeable to the Feng Shui idea and even said he would remove his power tools from our house. We reached a bit of an impasse on the emergency tool box and he went away and cogitated (no, not what you think! Keep up ladies please!) anyway he has had his sulk and texted me back a very sarcky "Okay to you requests ref tools but my adjustable spanners ARE non-negotiable".

It is a start at least, but I am going to stay in the Days Inn for the moment as they are making me feel quite at home and the WiFi is free. Also I am enjoying my little coffee sessions at the "wild bean cafe" in the service station. They have arranged some marvellous bistRo tables it is just down wind of the jet wash. In the sunshine this afternoon with my eyes half closed I could have sworn I was on the Boulevards of Paree. "All human life is here" to misquote Alan Bennet.At least I shall go to bed a little more up beat toniht.

typos sorry. I feel almost giddy I could have sworn a burly trucker just at meor perhaps it was just a nervous tic.

just bringing this back as I did not want to hijack another thread on AIBU but I want to know what Mnet have done with the canape thread from yesterday, entitled Cunt Cubes or FishFingers I am really disappointed as I suspect it was DH behind it. Anyway now bloody mnet and the censors have frightened him off. If it was the C word Mnet why have you allowed several old threads entitled CUNTING SAINSBURYS to remain? I have had to hijack my old thread cos I can't start a new one on AIBU is anyone else having the same problem?

mnet why can't i satrt a new thread????? you wont answer me on SITE thread

ha ha ha ha ha this has totally cheered me oop today. The olduns are the gooduns

This is one for Dan Savage, the sex advice columnist. Though I think he'd probably just tell your husband to DTMFA.

You'd be better off in a Premier Travel Inn?

I can't understand why you can't post in AIBU OP. Go into tools and then options.

Someone showed me this today, I know it is ancient but so am I and it made me laugh so much I cried. So it is the reason I am joining Mumsnet as it will add another dimension to my life
.

That women said she was bored here earlier and I tried to link it ? I might run away for starting a 'zombie' though.....