To be scared witless about parents evening tommorow night?

[RedRedWine1980]

DD is only 5- started school in September. She can be quite a pain at home some times and she is a dippy dora with zero organisational skills (puts her water bottle in the wrong place, leaves her PE bag in various random locations) and her teacher has said she has a battle trying to get her to remember what goes where etc.
Should I be really panicing shes going to tell me shes a nightmare child?

Nope - because if she was you would know by now! It's March!!! you would have been called into the school many times by now if your child was a real problem.

YANBU

But you should not worry.

You are already on the right track if you are talking in terms of 'Dippy Dora'. That's all it will be. Cirhosis speaks good sense; you would know by now if it was a big problem.

In my first teaching job in East London, I had a situation that I worried about for at least 48 hours. I had moved (let's call her) Amanda from one group to another because she was being a disruptive pain (but a very engaging one). Then I got a letter from her mother asking to see me. I was terrified. I sought advise from my colleagues, and I was v pleased I did because they were brilliant. They told me to just listen to Amanda's mum and see it as an opportunity to learn about Amanda (who, I add, was an absolutely georgous child, but a bit difficult in a class of 40).

Amanda's mum turned up, by which point I had extorted a promise from my team-teaching colleague that she would be in the adjoining classroom if needed.

Long story short; it turned out that the mother was herself at the end of her tether with her Amanda and we ended up agreeing to keep in touch with each other and support each other using stickers as a reward for good behaviour at home and at school. I knda felt for Amanda because her game was up, so to speak, but in the most kind and loving way possible.

Point is; I was terrified and Amanda's mum was pretty nervous. I had the benefit of excellent advice from my colleagues and it worked out very well and I still treasure the letter I had from Amanda's mum when I left.

Believe it or not, every teacher I have worked with has this sort of problem-solving attitude.

Do not waste 48 hours of your life worrying.

When you have your pe, write down in bullet point form what worries you. Start off by active listening.

From a teacher's pov, you are an engaged and concerned parent and that is pretty much all a teacher could ask for.

(secretly thinks that Dotty Doras and Amandas make it all worthwhile)

As a slight aside, most teachers will be worried about the forthcoming public spending cuts.

Promise me you won't worry and
Most teachers (well, all I have met) are very very nice people and will want to work with you.

In five years time you we will all be laughing.

class of 30

Don't worry about it. It is perfectly normal to feel nervous about it. I'm a teacher, and I've done hundreds of parents' evenings, but when I had to go to my daughter's first one last year, I was really nervous!!

I also agree with Cirrhosis, if there was a problem, you'd know by now.

Nope - don't worry - it is going to be a contstructive conversation about how you work together to support DD and help her work on the things she finds difficult - in her case, clearly, organisation.

(oh and it's normal to be nervous and to want to cry, even when they are saying nice things - or at least I hope it is )

I dreaded DD's first parents' evening. She is, um, determined and yes, disorganised. But it was fab. I need to know their secret re the getting her to do what she's told thing in fact...

I was asked to go to talk to La Headteacher (Y5) and she said that ds kept disrupting and wouldn't stay still. We agreed that I would go to the school for a couple of hours under the guise of using the school computer. It worked like a dream and ds has told me that he didn't buy the using the school computer as an excuse.

But all was fine after that. He was just a bit naughty, testing boundaries and going as far as he could go until the boundaries came down.

that last post was about my own ds.

Hello!

I used to be a reception teacher. Please don't worry! Putting water bottle in wrong place is no major crime, especially when you are only five! She sounds LOVELY. And yes you would have known by now if it was a problem.
I had a kid in my class who, when an inspector asked him "And what are you doing?" looked up and said: "Why don't you just F* off". I laughed, out of sheer nerves (and cos it was f~*ing funny), so you can see how very much worse it could be with your dd.
I used to dread parents' evening cos some of the mums and dads were so horribly pushy and demanding, and it was absolutely knackering after a full day's teaching. By the end I could barely string a sentence together and had a hard job remembering whose kid was whose.

You sound lovely and so does your little girl.

Thank you

I think thats partly why im nervous- she is a delightful little girl and the light of my life, I hope the teacher thinks as much of her as I do (yes it sounds precious and ridiculous) as it would break my heart for her not to get on at school.

Believe me you would know by now if your dd was considered a problem! I speak from the perspective of a parent and teacher.

I hope you are feeling confident now. Perhaps you could set a goal around the water bottle. Do feel for the teacher because it can eat into teaching time.

DD sounds spirited. Well done.

Red,

My daughter has her moments. She can be bossy, hard work, sometimes defiant, extremely quick and questioning and can be difficult to handle... but at school, it is like she is a different child. At Parents Evening, the teacher was surprised to hear just how difficult she can be (although 90% of the time, she is delightful!) - kids are often very different at school, and I have seen that from both sides of the table. I really wouldn't worry!