to look after my children?

[Mowgli1970]

We are going to dh's niece's wedding later this year. We're staying in a self catering cottage which is in the grounds of the hotel the wedding's taking place in. DD (who'll be 10) and DS (who'll be 7) are not the sort of kids who can stay up late. They're ready for bed by 8.30 and even on special occasions when I allow them to stay up late, they ask to go to bed about 9. When I said we'd have to leave the evening reception when the kids are ready for bed, this was met with stony silence then a suggestion that once they're in bed we can return to the party!
AIBU in thinking this is bloody mad? My children will be in another building! We won't know anyone else at the wedding as Dh's family is just him and his brother so it's not like we'll be missed. But the idea of us not going back to the party has gone down like a lead balloon. What do I say?

Babysitter? The hotel might be able to recommend one.

I wouldn't say any more about it. On the day, when your kids want to go to bed one or both of you take them off to bed. I doubt anyone will bother to come and drag you back again. If anyone says anything afterwards just say you fell asleep.

YANBU - the children come first and I certainly wouldn't leave mine in a house without an adult.

But you and DH don't both have to leave the party at the same time unless you want to. Maybe one partner could put the DCs to bed and the other could follow on to let the first one back to the party? ... if that's what suits you. (Sometimes it's nice to have an excuse to get away ...!)

Totally agree with Seuss.

Don't make this an arguing point. Just make vague mutterings and say yes, ok. Then, when they do go to bed go with them and you and DP take it in turns to go back to the party. If anyone says 'where is DH' just again be vague.

Saves a row and you still get to look after your kids.

I'd do what Seuss said

Is there any family you could leave them at home with? I've had friends kids for the night in similar situations. That way, you don't feel guilty for 'abandoning' your DH, nor for 'stopping' him going back to the party. Appreciate it may not work if you don't have friends / family who'll help out but worth investigating? Or could you arrange for your two to go to two of their friends for sleepovers?

They won't notice on the day if you go. Just don't discuss it anymore now.

Tbh though I would put kids to bed and stay with them myself and let dh stay at party (presuming it's his brothers or sisters dd). Both of you going and staying away is a bit crap tbh.

sure hotel can find you a babysitter, cant beleive your family was suggesting you leave the children alone in a cottage nowhere in sight

or put kids to bed and one of you return and then swap over every 30mins

was nothing learned from Madeline??

bingo! in only 8 posts too....

Go to the party, when the children are ready for bed, one of you takes them back, and then do shifts so you both get to enjoy the party if you want to.

You could explain that only attending some of the wedding is preferable to you all missing all of it, the other alternative if babysitting is not available / palatable to you and I wouldn't blame you if it were not.

Personally, and I've done this myself at a wedding, I'd go to as much as I could then take the kids to bed and enjoy the quiet time with a good book or a film on TV.

This really is a no brainer unless both of you are trying to dodge the party , which I don't reckon you are if you are going to the trouble of renting a cottage in the hotel grounds. It really should only take one of you to put kids that age to bed.

Really glad someone mentioned Madeline, I know they are not as young but why would your family suggest you leave children alone while you carry on partying?

If you both want to share in the fun take turns watching the kids, otherwise let dh go I reckon I would.