to weep like a small child after bloomin' rubbish driving lesson this morning?

[nickytwotimes]

I was SHITE.

Crossroads. This is where I gave up last 2 times.

I'll never manage to learn! I am hopeless at driving! And I am 6 and a half mths pg and will never make it before baby is born.

I´ve been there.

I switched to automatic classes (we then bought an automatic, we did not have acar before that.)

Everyone says: "It´s not real driving", or "what would you do in an emergency if only a manual car is available".

Well, automatic is fine. Much easier, much nicer.

Is that an option for you? No faffing with stupid gear changes, no problem starting uphill, no problems at crossings...

(I also sobbed a few times after tough class)

You'll get there. I was terrible when I was learning and it took me two years to pass the test! But I'm fine now, never had more than a knock on the gatepost kind of accident.

Are you having problems with stalling? Or just not finding it easy to judge when to go?

It's much harder to start in a petrol car than a diesel, because you have to remember to rev as well as lift the clutch. I found it really helped to go to an instructor with a diesel car when I was learning, and transfer to petrol later when I was a bit better at clutch control. Just a thought.

I know the feeling only to well. My downfall was roundabouts. It took me 5 lessons (yes 5!!!) to be able to go around one correctly, and that was just on a small one. In the end my instructor said "right, we won;t do roundabouts for a while, then sprang one on me and I managed it fine). It was a sort of mental block.

Stick with it. It'll be worth it!

What is it about crossroads that you can't get?

Oh, I remember that stage - when you feel like there's about five absolutely essential steps that all have to happen in the same instant! Eek.

I gave up twice because of roundabouts. I just didn't get it and when I was on them ... I felt extremely pressured and panicked and ended up round and round like Mr Bean because I darn't come off them!

I've had my license for around 6 years now so you do get there in the end and when I think back about roundabouts I think "what on earth was the problem? what is there NOT to get? it's simple ... "

You'll think the same about crossroads one day

Not sure what it is about crossroads, but instructor assures me that along with roundabouts they caause a lot of learners grief.

Thanks for the posts. Ds due home in 5 mins. Gah!

Oh and yes, I alone put paid to that myth about women being able to multi-task!

Glad I am not alone in my exasperation.

Oh God, I soooo get how you feel nickytwotimes!

It took me years to pass my test and I quite often used to cry during my lessons. My poor driving instructor !!

The worst part is I have never really driven since passing 4 years ago and I'm now panicing as I'm 34 weeks pregnant with my first baby and I won't be able to drive it anywhere because I STILL CAN'T BLOODY DRIVE!! Arrrggghh!

Have had a few little practice drives with DH over the last few weeks all of which have resulted in hysterical tears! (me not him . . yet)

You CAN pass though (if I can anyone can) and when you do make sure you get behind the wheel straight away and become a proper driver!

Worry not. This is meant to happen. Repeat after me "success is 99% failure" x 100.

I learned to drive in secret and put myself under enormous pressure in doing so [brain of a squashed maggot]. I frequently felt like I hadn't a clue what I was doing. It all felt too much to think about what my hands had to do, then my feet, whilst simultaneously paying attention to what was happening on the road. Stop. Start. Stop. Start.

If I am being thoroughly honest then I only really became a confident driver a year or so after passing my test.

It will all gel beautifully eventually and you really will get to a stage where you don't even have to think about it, it will come naturally.

This is a really important time.
To be a good driver, now is the time to make heaps of mistakes so that you really understand why not to do certain things. Ultimately, struggling with bits of driving, roundabouts, crossroads, parallel parking etc is good! Don't run away from these things, get your instructor to do nothing but that for half of each lesson until you know it like the back of your hand.

Don't feel embarrassed or under pressure. You are paying for this. You deserve to go over and over and over it until you burst with pride at getting it.

Remember, everyone was a learner once.

Remember, getting it wrong will help you get it right.

And, change instructor if he/she isn't working for you. I had a great instructor and he taught me some great stuff that my DP was never taught. Result = I park better

Nicky, I have cried after so many lessons now I can't count them all! I have had 39 lessons so far and am nowhere near passing yet. I find it very, very stressful. I am improving though, slowly but surely.

fg what a lovely supportive post. It's cheered me right up!

nickytwotimes - i used to nearly cry every time my drving instructor arrived for a lesson, i used to hope he would not turn up so i wouldn't have to go through the ordeal!

i began learning whilst pregnant with my second baby so can empathise with foggy hormonal driving brain! i stopped my lessons when about 8 mths preggars, i kept getting really bad braxton hicks and scaring my instructor!

i restarted lessons with avengeance, twice a week (weep) when my dd was about 4 mths and passed my test 1st time when dd was about 8 mths.

i was a slooooow learner and had far more lessons than strictly necessary as my problem was lack of confidence in my ability and decision making.

carry on with it, don;t let a bad day put you off. i have been driving for about 6 yrs now and it changed my life, seriously. you can do it!!

I just wish I could give you all m last instructor, he was amazing, showed me such easy ways to do manouvers and ever so patient.

I haven't read all the posts but some people seem to find it much easier than others. I passed 4th time and I consider myself fairly lucky. Perhaps the examiner recognised me and felt sorry for me. Don't tell anyone that you are taking your test because after the first two times it gets psychologically wearing.

4 stages of learning

1 Unconscious incompetence: your average toddler will be useless at driving a car on a public road, but they are unaware that they are useless and that's ok.

2 Conscious incompetence: On your very first driving lesson you will probably have become aware that you know nothing about the driving of a car. This phase is fairly uncomfortable.

1. Conscious competence: this one isn't too comfortable either. You know what to do but it doesn't come naturally so you have to keep telling yourself things, eg, mirror, whatever, mirror.

1. Conscious competence; you do it without thinking.

Do not beat yourself up. On the bright side, you will probably end up as an over-conscientious driver.

yanbu. at all.
at all. at all. at all.

You will manage this, it's just practice over and over again. Be patient with yourself and allow yourself the space to make those silly mistakes and panic etc. You don't have to be able to learn in 10 lessons and pass first time, you just need to be a competent driver regardless of how much time it takes you. The more you drive, the more 2nd nature it becomes.
(I'm learning to 'drive' a sewing machine and my pathetic excuses for pillowcases and the like put me in a proper sulk but I hope one day I'll get there!)
Chin up!

I was preg when learning to drive & the time limit does cause stress. Keep at it and you will pass. Good luck.

I hear you!! I seriously get stressed at my driving lessons too. I had one this morning & felt mentally exhausted afterwards: how do people bloomin remember all these things at the same time?!! A voice inside my head keeps saying 'you're not meant to be driving!' & I keep ignoring it as best I can!

YANBU. It's hard when you're having to think 'steering-clutch-gear-mirror-other mirror-signal-no, signal first!-or, no, mirror?' etc, etc. Gradually, though, you won't have to think of all those things, because one by one you'll do them automatically, so eventually you're only consciously focusing on the road. And then it'll become easier.

Honestly, it will.

I dreaded my lessons, despite loving cars, because I hated that feeling of incompetence. Is there any way you can get a mate to take you out, rather than your DH, though? IME, that's not only a recipe for some snorting arguments, but can also lead to any post-pass trips turning into an extended driving lesson. Once my DH got the 'instructional' bit between his teeth, he found it very hard to shake off his new Jeremy Clarkson-meets-Gillian McKeith persona.

It took me SIX YEARS but I got there in the end!!!! hand on in there , practice loads and do test when PG!!!!

You'll get there, I'm sure.

Me, on the other hand...

I'm 40 years old, I have never had a single lesson, I'm nervous even as a passenger, I don't even know what the pedals do.

My dh has decided I should learn and what's more he thinks I'll be ready for a test after 10 lessons.

I'll be one of those people who spends literally thousands on lessons and never passes and we don't have the money to throw away!

Hi please dont give up I didnt even though I started learning to drive when I was 17 and didnt pass until I was 28 ( last July) had 7 driving instructors ( due to constantly stopping and starting and moving e.t.c!) Took 3 theory tests as they kept running out and sat 8 practical tests!!! I refused to give in as otherwise I would have thrown away so much money, time and effort!! My problem was a lack of confidence and a tendency to overcomplicate driving! I have been on the road since August and I drive really well mostly although parking is another issue!! Please dont worry x

Oh, thank you all so much for your lovely supportive messages.

God, yes, I was exhausted after this morning.

I know it is practice and luckily I have a fantastic instructor. Today was really my first bad lesson I have had so it was a big gaulling (sp).

NIce to hear tales of fellow hormonal and /or tearful people behind the learner wheel.

l39, if I ever make it, I'll let you know becasue if I mange this, anyone can, really. You do have to be really motivated though - don't do it unless you want to.

I'm sure you can do it, and being pg is a good incentive.

I took 4 driving tests and hate every minute of learning, however I love it now. Though I will tell you that when I am pg I lose all ability to park for some bizarre reason. I think it is hormones. My (female) instructor always used to be able to tell when I was on my period because of my driving