1hr 20 mins on a 'naughty chair' for 3yr old whilst in nursery?

[MrsJamesMcAvoy]

Little boy fell off a chair and as he fell backwards, his foot caught another child under the chin. He was asked to apologise to the child, but didnt as he didnt know what he had done wrong. Subesquently spent 1hr 20 mins on a naughty chair

At ds's nursery. I am worried now about what they consider appropriate disciplin to be. They have an outstanding ofsted report, and the nursery is seriously popular. But even so

I am not a fan of making a child apologise at that age, an apology is worth nothing unless it is meant.

And making a child apologise for an accident is terrible.

Further to make a child sit for over an hour, well words fail me. Almost.

Did the child's mum (who witnessed the incident) not say something at the time?

Not sure.

Good grief Maryz. You would think that people would be a little more enlightened these days - but obviously not. Sometimes IMHO some people need NOT to work with children.

I think that it is right to apologise if you hurt someone by accident - it shows you understand you caused them pain and you regret that. But I am not sure that that kind of empathy is always something you are born with - I think you may have to learn it, so telling a child to apologise for hurting another child seems OK to me - but should be backed up with a chat about how the other child was upset because they were hurt, and that their feelings matter.

Three days outside the head's office is utterly unacceptable, though, maryz, especially given your son's condition. Long before that length of time was reached, the school should have realised that a different approach was needed - and right from the word 'Go', they shouldn't have put themselves in a position where they had no way to get out of a situation.

If you tell a child they have to sit on a naughty chair or outside the Head's office until they apologise, you have no alternatives if they don't apologise - the staff would feel they were setting a bad precedent if they 'backed down.'

A better approach might be to tell the child that they have to sit and think about what happened and why they need to apologise, for a specific length of time (perhaps 5-10 minutes) and that if they still don't apologise after that, then there will be a consequence - losing golden time, losing playtime, losing a star, or whatever. That way the situation has a clear end point and can't drag on forever.

My 3yo would be beside herself if nursery tried to punish her for 80 minutes! they are still so small.