Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

Original poster

To think DD's ballet teacher was way out of order?

24 replies

dilemma456 · 08/03/2010 20:59

Message withdrawn

OP posts:

LovelyDear · 08/03/2010 21:00

teacher sounds bonkers and mean

TrinityIsFuckingTrying · 08/03/2010 21:02

wow, what a nasty thing to do

yes comforting the little girl was more important

dd2 is nealr 5 and she would have been devastated if that had happened

I would have been very grateful if you had done that for my dd

ByTheSea · 08/03/2010 21:03

That teacher was totally out of order. I would consider switching ballet schools if you have that option.

junglist1 · 08/03/2010 21:05

What a bitch!! A four year old??!

onepieceoflollipop · 08/03/2010 21:06

I would remove my own dd tbh. No guarantee that the teacher isn't horrid to the dcs in the class if she is happy to treat a small girl like that in front of others.

Original poster

dilemma456 · 08/03/2010 21:08

Message withdrawn

OP posts:

islandofsodor · 08/03/2010 21:10

It was out of order for the teacher to tell you this but not out of order to not allow the girl to take part if the fees had not been paid.

There is only so much chasing and reminding you can do, there comes a time when it has to be no money, no class.

Original poster

dilemma456 · 08/03/2010 21:14

Message withdrawn

OP posts:

MoreCrackThanHarlem · 08/03/2010 21:20

What sort of a person would want to upset a child in this way?
Any discussion of finance should have been strictly between the mother and teacher. She shouldn't have told the little girl, and she shouldn't have told you either.
It sounds as if she wanted to humiliate the non paying parent.
Nasty.

paulaplumpbottom · 08/03/2010 21:21

Thats awful!!!!!

The poor baby. What did her mom say?

Lonnie · 08/03/2010 21:37

From what I understood the teacher had done the class and this happened after? She must have been able to get ahold in the parent before..

I would 100% write a letter of complaint

Original poster

dilemma456 · 09/03/2010 09:06

Message withdrawn

OP posts:

Original poster

dilemma456 · 09/03/2010 09:07

Message withdrawn

OP posts:

gingernutlover · 09/03/2010 09:10

the teacher was out of order to embarass the child

why did it get to that point though, why hadnt your friend paid?

Original poster

dilemma456 · 09/03/2010 09:14

Message withdrawn

OP posts:

gingernutlover · 09/03/2010 09:21

okay, its just that when you said what was in her letter "She's written a complaint to the ballet school ownner pointing out tha not only was her LO upset but she was very embarrassed and in different circujmstances it could have been the final straw for someone in geuine financial difficulties" it made me think that is you can't afford to pay for the lessons, then don't send your child. But it does sound like your feind was just a bit forgetful maybe.

StarExpat · 09/03/2010 09:21

It doesn't matter why or how the mother forgot to pay or couldn't pay or didn't even... it's an issue the teacher takes up with the parent not the child. Especially at 3 and 4 years old! That is the issue here. You quite simply do not embarrass a child in front of everyone else like that or upset the child in that way. You tell the parent upon collecting her DD, by taking her aside, handing her a notice... something.
What she did is out of line.
I hope that your friend writes a letter of complaint.
I hope that you also write a letter of complaint.
I hope that anyone else who witnessed it will do the same.
If it were me, I'd take my own dc out of the class.
All the other little girls must have been quite worried, too that it might happen to them sometime.

pigletmania · 09/03/2010 09:25

I aam that is unprofessional and dreadful behaviour from the ballet teacher. I would remove my dd from her class she sounds horrid.

gingernutlover · 09/03/2010 09:26

The teacher was way out of line, I have already said that.

But, alot of ballet schools and music teachers etc etc get parents who send their kids for lessons never intending to pay. I am not suggesting that the OP's friend is one of these parents but that line in her letter does seem to suggest that she thinks if she was in financial difficulty then she shouldnt be hounded for fee's?

Absolutely NO WAY should the teacher have said this to the child at all, under no circumstances was this okay. So on that YADNBU

zazen · 09/03/2010 09:26

I would defifnately do as you have done - move my DD away from this dangerously awful woman - that's totally out of order and unprofessional - how could she deliberatley upset a child. That's just unbelievable.

Changing teacher is a fab idea, and complaining to the head of the school is excellent - mein got, next it will be comments about body shape and anorexia.

What a total beeeach.

gingernutlover · 09/03/2010 09:31

and yes, i agree you should move the girls, and complain, and tell other parents tbh.

Lymond · 09/03/2010 09:33

Move your daughter.

I've moved my DD 3 times to find a good ballet class. Her current teacher is lovely, but what is it with some ballet teachers being such bitches?

StarExpat · 09/03/2010 09:33

oh yes, tell other parents. They should know about this because behaviour like this from a teacher is unacceptable.

islandofsodor · 09/03/2010 10:54

That is totally out of order in front of the whole class.

As gingernutlover says lots of people do send their children to class never intending to pay. Over the years I have had parents owe me hundreds of pounds but I would always address this with the parent.

The only time I would say to a child no you can't take part is if I had already warned the parent the week before that it would happen Mrs xxxx I'm afraid that if we don;t receive the fees by next week your child can not take part.

Flip