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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be fed up with peoples reaction to me having 3 dds.

49 replies

AppleHEAD · 08/03/2010 17:45

I am so fed up with people telling me that because I have 3 girls my life is going to be terrible when they get older and they will be ghastly.
I have lost count of the number of people who have said such things and so has dh it is so annoying. Does this happen to anyone else or just me?
I love my girls and I am looking forward to whatever my life is like with them.

OP posts:

Lindy · 08/03/2010 20:57

I have noticed that once you become a parent people seem to think its OK to make all sorts of comments; we have an only child (and we chose not to have a child until I was 42) - we've had loads of comments such as 'you must have been trying for years', 'was he IVF?', 'he's made your life complete now', 'shame you can't have any more at your age' even my closest friend said 'I'm so happy we'll have more in common now' ... to me having a child (ren) is so very personal but other people seem to think they have the right to comment about your family.

noshouting · 08/03/2010 21:07

I am one of three DDs, it was great growing up always having someone to play with then when older borrow clothes from. We are all very independent and quite fearless really and I do think growing up on a female house fostered this a bit.Enjoy every minute!

Whoamireally · 08/03/2010 21:08

Can you not just turn round and sigh 'Yes, I know, poor me. Heigh ho, at least I'll have 3 girls to look after me instead of dumping me in a nursing home when I'm a decrepit old bag. Oh poor you, you don't have girls, do you? '

PoppetOne · 08/03/2010 21:35

YANBU - I hate those kind of people who think they can make negative (and sometimes really hurtful) comments.

I am the eldest of 3 girls and my Mum is the eldest of 5 girls.
Both sets had great and bad moments when we were growing up, but we wouldn't be without each other for the world and that's just what being a family is all about, isn't it?

dizzydixies · 08/03/2010 21:38

we have 3 girls as well and love love love it, there is nothing we can't do as a family and DH just loves his gang of girls

ignore the ignorant feckers

chipmonkey · 09/03/2010 00:07

Whoamireally, would you honestly say something like that to someone who had only boys?

bumpybecky · 09/03/2010 00:20

YANBU

we had so many comments about the costs of weddings after dd3 was born I started telling everyone that we weren't going to pay for any of it and they'd all have to live in sin. That shut most of them up, what with it being a Church school......

LauraIngallsWilder · 09/03/2010 00:28

My neighbours have 5 girls
They have recently had number 5 and were thrilled to bits it was another girl!

FWIW I dont think it matters either way - a house full of kids/teens is a house full of noise and mess regardless of what gender they are

MrsTicklemouse · 09/03/2010 00:55

it drives me crazy too

random person "ooooh two boys that must be hard work"
me "err no actually not really, i would love a girl as well"
random person "oooh girls are so difficult as teenagers"
me (in my head) "well what do suggest then, have girls then trade them in for boys when they hit puberty??"

coralanne · 09/03/2010 05:54

I am one of 5 sisters and 1 brother.

When DB has second DS he was happy to stop at 2.

If he had been a DD they may have tried again for another DS.

He said as much as he loved his sisters, he didn't want his DS growing up without a brother.

coralanne · 09/03/2010 05:58

My DD has three DD's and one DS.

Her DH has 4 sisters.

He spent most of his early childhood sleeping over at his best friend's place. Even had a drawer with spare clothes.

Again, he loved his sisters but needed male company his own age sometimes.

Is very close to his dad but you can only hang out with dad for so long.

PacificDogwood · 09/03/2010 06:02

Oh, I am currently expecting DS4 - you should hear the comments...

When I was out and about proud as Punch with newborn DS3 a random old bag lady offered her condolences that he was another boy.... To this day I wish I'd have thought of some witty way to bring up my years of TTC and repeated MCs to Shut Her Up, gah!

It is strange how people feel compelled to spout off...

You enjoy your DDs, OP

lockets · 09/03/2010 06:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

dizzydixies · 09/03/2010 09:35

lockets, don't be taking that onboard at all siblings are siblings regardless of gender and frankly if you know both mine and SK's DD2s you'd understand

coralanne · 09/03/2010 09:58

Sorry lockets. Didn't mean to upset you.

My DB and myself are the two youngest of the family and I can honestly say that we have never had an arguement.

I once asked him if I was looking through rose coloured glasses and he said no we were and are very close.

My DD and his DS were also very close growing up. (same age, only 5 weeks apart).

Maybe somewhere along the line he was thinking of our brother who only lived 24 hours after being born.

He would have been 2 years younger than my brother and maybe the thought crossed his mind that it would have been nice to have a brother as well as sisters.

coralanne · 09/03/2010 10:08

My DD's DH also gets on extremely well with all his sisters (youngest is 15).

I guess what I'm trying to say is that if you do have 3 DD'S and one DS or the other way around it's good to make sure that the lone one has lots of company of the same sex as themselves.

Not a problem if you have all the same sex no matter if it's 2 or 10.

newpup · 09/03/2010 10:47

I only have 2 DDs and get this all the time.

I LOVE having girls and would happily have another if I could guarantee another DD!

I love the idea of 3 DDs!

Lucky You I say!!

Pebbles71 · 09/03/2010 13:38

I have 3 girls and a boy,I have a different relationship with him as them as he cant help me out with make up/clothes(and pinch my clothes of me) or talk about whos hot and whos not and celeb going ons but he can tell me the latest fastest car or whats the latest films are going to be ...hes the eldest and into boy things...I thank god that I had 3 girls after my son....I am truely blessed...but I do find I can relate to girls better than boys when helping out at school that may be because Iv had more to do with girls maybe....eldest girl is 17 and youngest 8....and its all Fun,FUN FUN...realy enjoying it...they arnt hard work in fact my son has been the most difficult and still is and hes nearly 20 .Everyones experiences of girls and boys are different.My hubby was 1 of 5 boys and I was the only girl out of 3 so for us 3 girls and 1 boy = truely blessed.

Pebbles71 · 09/03/2010 13:42

What i meant to say was enjoy it whatever you have and be proud because before you know it they are all grown up......dont matter what people say just enjoy being a parent to whatever boy/girl as being a parent is such a gift and we all take it for granted that having children will happen,for some it doesnt so ENJOY the challenges ahead and memories you will make to treasure...ENJOY

sweetkitty · 09/03/2010 15:26

lockets/dizzy - I have a friend very close to us who is having a DS after 2DDs 2 months after me so we have decided that they will be the best of friends and can hang out together and whinge about all their sisters! DD2 is more like a boy than most boys I know, she is delighted to be having a brother and has said she will share her dinosaurs and cars with him.

You could say the same about an only child they have no same sex siblings or what about a boy and a girl?

dizzydixies · 09/03/2010 16:18

ah kitty thats great news - are you any further forward with the naming game??

lockets · 09/03/2010 16:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

notquitenormal · 09/03/2010 16:57

People just seem to feel the need to flap their lips without actually engaging their brain. I have only 1 DS and heard it all as he's 9th male grandchild out of 11. I just smile and ignore.

I am one of 3 girls and 1 boy. DP is one of 6 boys and 1 girl. The biggest difference between our families is that each individual is totally different in their own weird wonderful little way.

StiffUpperHip · 23/03/2010 13:52

The worst comment we've had, from a relative stranger, was along the lines of your house will be awful in 10 years with 3 teenage girls and a wife going through the change. Hmmph. To be fair though, now that we also have 2 female cats and 3 hens, dh is trying to insist we get a male dog. I've always said he's a girlie man anyway.

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