oh dear, lack of assertiveness and houseguests a wwyd dressed up as aibu...

[VigourMortis]

A member of DP's extended family is coming to our city next week, I got a mail from MIL asking if she could stay with us 'for two to three weeks', that she was a very good guest, out all day etc. I was a bit about 3 weeks but this part of DP's family is estranged so I thought it would be nice to build bridges and wrote to her and said as we had a baby 3 weeks was a bit much but we could offer her a week, particularly as we might be going away for a weekend around then and in an uberbritish, overly polite and probably foggy manner implied we were amenable to guests that babysat pitched in and didn't mind a bit of disarray. Well, now she's written back to say she 'understands' we can 'only' offer her a week and in return 'offers' to housesit, with her work colleague, while we're away.

I was not too sure about having her around, have never met her and now she's inviting people of undisclosed connection to her to stay as well?

How old is baby-young enough to say baby waking a lot/colic & a visitor doesn´t work at all?

I´d try to get out of it TBH.

Oh, dear.

This is not your MIL? It is another member of the family?

Quite cheeky to expect to stay in your house when you are not there.

Write back and tell her that you have not made definite plans, as you don't know how things will go with the baby so you are happy to have her to stay a week. Thank her for the offer of housesitting but that is is not necessary.

I think that you have to be blunt. She will otherwise not get the message.

Just say no! This is totally out of order. Would you feel comfortable with someone you've never met, who admittedly is a distant relation of your dp, together with someone else you've never met, staying in your house while you're not there? Obviously not, or you wouldn't have posted the problem.

Say you've thought again and it really isn't convenient to have house guests while you've got a small baby. Or make up some other guests coming to stay then.

Exactly as MmeLindt says. She is very wise

Be firm.

Say that her offer is kind but no thank you, you don't need anyone to house sit. Then specify the exact dates she can arrive and leave, with no room for bargaining. Or else just say that you have thought it over and don't think it is fair to the guest to invite her to such a messy, noisy, uncomfortable house so you would prefer not to.

Disclaimer: I don't mean that your house is really messy etc!

6 months. In my email I said only one week because we were moving him to his own room which is where she would be. He's been in with us but now sleeping through .

Oh you are all wise! I get myself into these things by not being clear.

It is my MIL's sister's daughter. She likes a cheap stay because it enables her to follow her dream without doing anything horrid like work.

I might adapt Lady's suggestion and say house too messy for non-family houseguests? Or is that just digging me further in?

I'd e-mail her or call v soon and say you were looking to decorate that room for DC and found damp, therefore there is no guest room as that needs to be treated and you think you'll still be in the middle of work being done when she'd be looking to stay. Say very sorry and you'd love to meet up with her and her friend for lunch/dinner round when they are visiting (make sure you put dust sheets down in that room if you invite them over, maybe just block the door with some old paint tins and additional decorating stuff you have about the place)

Just be polite and say

'Thank you for your kind offer but we won't need housesitters thanks, am sorry we are in position to only offer a week, do hope you understand'

Short, sweet and too the point with a clear understanding a week is all she gets

to the point even

Just say no. I wouldn't even have her for a week.

Bloody cheeky that they have asked in the first place.

Don't say house is too messy for non relative house guests that just invites a response of "Oh we don't mind a bit of mess" you just have to be kind but firm in a way that she understands you are basically saying sod off but in a polite fashion