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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To consider re-homing my puppy

37 replies

YummyorSlummy · 08/03/2010 10:08

I have a labrador puppy who is approaching six months old. He is truly lovely and I know I should have thought more about this before we got the dog but I dont think I'm
cut out for him. My dh told me it would be a few weeks of hard work when we got him and then he would be well behaved once he learnt what he could and couldn't touch etc- now i know he was completly exaggerating cos of how much he wanted a bloody dog! (I obviously knew feck all about dogs before we got one) but this dog has ruined so many of my ds's lovely toys ( and ds is only 1 so can hardly explain to keep toys away from doggy very well) and knocked him over and scratched him so many times I'm at breaking point. He has chewed the buggy strap so we now need another one,chewed through our phone line and is so much more needy than I expected wanting to be with us all the time. I'm not sure I can cope with him any more ...

OP posts:
ScreaminEagle · 08/03/2010 10:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

ShinyAndNew · 08/03/2010 10:14

Labradors chew things. MY mums ate a whole breakfast in just one night. There was barely a scrap left by the morning.

Luckily the dog was fine.

You need to buy him things he can chew and as a responsible dog owner, keep toys and things that could harm him out of his way.

YummyorSlummy · 08/03/2010 10:17

He is supposed to be starting puppy training next month but I still can't see that, for example, when my ds throws something at him, he is going to know he can't have it (??) I just wish I'd at least waited till ds was older to get a dog. He currently only has one walk a day during the week and two or three at weekends. The reason being he refuses to walk when I have the buggy he seems scared of it. So instead I let him run around in the garden and throw a ball for him etc.

OP posts:
YummyorSlummy · 08/03/2010 10:19

Shineyandnew, I've bought him so many dog chews, toys etc but it makes no difference to him chewing everything else, especially my brand new sofa lol

OP posts:
shinyshoes · 08/03/2010 10:20

Oh dear are you new here? I know that's not very helpful but I have seen threads like this get nasty.

He is a baby still he needs training. Our dog is not allowed upstairs, we put a stairgate up and he knows, even when its open, he's not allowed upstairs,we taught him this (The majority of the toys are kept upstairs so he can't get to them).

Our babys toys are downstairs and if now and again he's got one in his mouth we firmly tell him to 'drop it' he does this immediately. he's 3 now.

Give him time it will come, it will take a few more chewed up toys(put these somewhere out of his reach)and alot of patience.

Fluffyone · 08/03/2010 10:21

A labrador is bred to be a working dog. How much exercise does your puppy get?

ShinyAndNew · 08/03/2010 10:21

How long/far is walked for? Does he have both off leash and walking time?

MillyR · 08/03/2010 10:22

He will be chewing things up because he is teething. He won't chew things up forever. Could you buy a backpack to put your DS in while you walk the dog? Can your DH walk the dog in the evenings as he is the one who wanted the dog?

MillyR · 08/03/2010 10:24

Actually, he will chew toys forever and needs to know the difference between his toys and DS's toys. But he won't chew things like sofas forever.

ShinyAndNew · 08/03/2010 10:26

Oh and I symplathise. My dogs eats everything, even the magical. indestructable Kong is edible to him. As is Baby Born, Peppa Pig and it would seem dd1's bike. My children are old enough to learn to put away their own toys. If it gets chewed tough. They should have put it away. Although I do ensure smaller toys that he could choke on are out of his reach and he does drop whatever he has as soon as he is told to.

I am working on taking away the toys and swapping them for something he is allowed. To try and teach him what he can chew, rather than just trying to stop the chewing.

Engaging him in a game seems to help too. It's something he seems to do when he is bored.

Gubbins · 08/03/2010 10:28

Of course he wants to be with you all the time, he's a dog. They're pack animals.

Your partner should not have presured you into having a dog and, if you can't manage then the best thing for him would be to give him the opportunity of living with a family who can.

Tiredmumno1 · 08/03/2010 10:29

Oh fgs we all make mistakes, you are not being horrid you are thinking of you and your ds. Also the dog may get the attention it craves elsewhere. Dont feel bad some things just dont work out. Do what you want to do!

rasputin · 08/03/2010 10:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Tiredmumno1 · 08/03/2010 10:38

She made a flippin MISTAKE after being given the wrong info. I dont think you should try and pressurise her into keeping it, i am going to guess that its not that answer she wants to hear. Op - YANBU.

MaMight · 08/03/2010 10:39

God threads like this make me angry.

Yes, of course YABU, but frankly if you're planning to rehome the little pup without even bothering to try puppy classes then the poor dog will be better off without a family like yours. I hope that he gets a more responsible and committed family to be a part of next time.

StayingDavidTennantsGirl · 08/03/2010 10:40

I can really sympathise with the OP here. We waited until the dses were 12, 14 and 16 before getting a dog, and it is still bl**dy hard work. The chewing does get better - our lab puppy is 9.5 months old, and does a lot less chewing than she used to. At least all of us were old enough to know that if we left stuff within reach of the puppy, we had only ourselves to blame if they got chewed - a baby can't understand this, and it adds to your workload.

Labs do learn fast - you can do lots of training at home, using treats (labs are very food-oriented and are bright too). Perhaps you could work with the puppy on getting him to drop things on command - give him a toy, tell him to drop it, and offer a treat - when he drops the toy, say 'drop it', praise him and give the treat. Repeat until he learns it - this might only take one or two sessions.

You can work on simple commands like 'sit', 'stay', 'down' etc in a similar way. For example, tell the dog to sit whilst pressing on his rear end so he sits - say 'sit' again, tell him he's a good boy and give the treat.

When he's learned sit, you can teach down by gently pulling one front leg forward while he sits, or by holding a treat down at floor level so he has to lie down to get it.

Teach him to offer a paw, by saying paw and picking his paw up whilst he is sitting.

I am telling you all this because as well as excercise, training and learning will tire your pup out and make your life easier. But I realise that this is a huge amount of work, and with a small baby, you already have a huge workload, so if you decide that this is too much, I, for one, would not blame you.

How would you rehome the dog? Via the breeder or via a labrador rescue society? If you need advice on this, Vallhala is very knowlegeable.

wannaBe · 08/03/2010 10:42

yabu. Actually these threads make me really

The fact your dh promised you x and y is irelevant here - you agreed to get the dog, you can't just decide to get rid of it now the novelty has warn off. It's not a toy ffs.

The puppy needs to learn boundaries, and the only way to do that is to teach it.

So - get a stair gate to prevent the puppy going upstairs, then keep the majority of the toys up there while puppy is still learning.

get a puppy crate and teach the puppy to go in there at night/when you're out so the puppy is not left unsupervised to chew the sofa.

Make sure the puppy is going for regular walks so he doesn't become bored. Actually six month old puppies don't need hours and hours of exercise a day - that is a bit of a myth as they need to gradually build up to that as their bones etc are still developing at this age. But once older your dog will need a decent walk every day - get your dh to do this perhaps first thing in the morning and last thing at night.

Take the puppy to training classes so that he becomes socialized and obedient.

ShinyAndNew · 08/03/2010 10:45

Tiredmum, I didn't think people went onto this site just to 'get the answer she wants to hear'. What would be the point?

She is asking whether she is BU. Most people, myself included, think that yes, she is. It is unreasonable to take on a small vunerable animal who relies on you for love, care, food, guidance etc and the get rid when it gets hard. So many dogs are pts uneccessarily in rehoming centers because people have bought them without checking all the facts first and then gotten fed up.

People are understandably angered by this, especially people who work in that area.

Labs are extremely intelligent dogs, the op should be able to train this behavior with ease. So long as it is getting enough exercise and stimualtion throughout the day to prevent boredom.

CrowAndAlice · 08/03/2010 10:46

You and your DCs are his world .

MillyR · 08/03/2010 10:49

I think it is very, very common for people to get dogs when they have young children, or to have a dog that they love and then get pregnant, and find that they cannot cope with the dog.

I HATED my dog when DD was little. I couldn't rehome it because it was disabled, but I really struggled to show it any love. It was a big dog and I had to carry it into the garden when I was heavily pregnant. I am very grateful that both my sister and my SIL took it off me for a few weeks sometimes to give me a break.

Now I have two rescue dogs that were rehomed because a woman with young children couldn't cope with them.

I think the dog could be very happy in another home - you would not be an awful person if you decided you couldn't cope. You have done some of the training already if it is housetrained. It just needs a bit more work. Chewing is normal and can be changed - I lost part of a brand new carpet to a chewing puppy.

Really your DH should have taken more responsibility - I always think that when a family gets a dog one adult has to say that they are ultimately responsible for the dog - that should have been your DH.

darkandstormy · 08/03/2010 10:50

op A dog is for life not just for Christmas. He is still very young, things will get better, up the excercise set the boundaries and the discipline.Your husband needs to get fully on board with extra effort.Get started on the puppy classes, I promise things will get better. Come the better weather we hope get out and about with him as much as poss.Remember he is still a baby himself.Would you expect perfect behavior from a human baby.Read Marley and me. will make you feel better as no pup is a as naughty but lovable as Marley.Its like having a child life turns upside down but things will regain an even keel.....eventually

wannaBe · 08/03/2010 10:51

tiredmum "we all make mistakes" sorry that's just not good enough. This isn't a toy or a piece of furniture - it's a living breathing animal. The reason why rescue centres in this country are full to overflowing is because people go out and buy cute puppies without actually considering how much hard work they are and then when they find out that shock horrir that cute andrex puppy grew to the size of the coffee table and its teech could do quite a lot of damage they regret it and get rid as if it were a toy.

darkandstormy · 08/03/2010 10:53

sorry about the crap punctuation etc I am downing the lemsips and feeling a bit rough.

Tiredmumno1 · 08/03/2010 11:01

Erm i understand all that but if she really cant cope then the dog would obviously be better off with somebody else, so it can get the attention that it needs, as i already said. Someone out there would probably be really appreciative, and i thought that most people who work with dogs advise that you shouldnt have any dog near young children, its best to wait until they are older

GoddessInTheKitchen · 08/03/2010 11:03

tbh labs are some of the cleverest dogs you can get, we had a black lab and yes he chewed but that stopped, they ARE clever and WILL learn not to touch the baby toys, they can smell the difference and just need to be taught, it sounds like you need some advice on dog training but also your dh shouldn't have pushed to get a dog if he can't do most of this himself. if you really can't cope then i'm sure he would be better off with someone who loves him and can help him, but it is your responsibility to rehome him in a nice family who know about dogs and not just drop him at the dogs home or rescue centre