Am I over reacting to expect an apology from dh?

[ilovespinach]

ok...history....I was a bit off with dh last week....distant and wasn't affectionate - I had my period and felt like shite....

I apologised to him at the weekend for being a bit distant and he pushed my away when I ttried to hug him and said that I had sent an over familiar message to a mutual male FB friend and so he was obv in a arse about that....FWIW I sent a belated happy birthday msg which said just that....maybe it was the smiley at the end (scratches head) which was over familiar....

Now I am fuming about this - I am not the type of person to cry but this made me cry.

I am still fuming about this but more so that he has no said one word at all about it since......He knew that he upset me and made me cry...We are being civil to eachother when the kids are around but not saying much when they have gone to bed etc

Am I being childish to expect some sort of apology about this?

I think neither of you are communicating well at all in your relationship

I think you should forget the apology completely.

Instead say to him, we're clearly not communicating well at the moment, lets start to sort this

I think expecting apologies at this stage will just perpetuate this culture of sulking you have got into with each other tbh.

this isn't usual behaviour for us tbh....we tend to act like adults most of the time

Perhaps he saw the FB message and combined that with the fact you were distant and not affectionate last week and came up with "pissed off what is she playing at" conclusion.

Agree CBTS and forget apologies ... sounds like they're needed from both sides (and being unnecessarily 'off' with someone all week is not the same as getting annoyed 1 time about a FB msg so not sure he is the bad guy anyway). You need to talk to each other, draw a line under last week, move on.

Agree with wishingchair. He probably felt hurt that you were distant from him last week and read waaay to much into the fb message.

don't apologise, act as if it didn't happen. Just smile and give him a big hug. When my dh acts up over something minor I give him a bear hug until he starts laughing and say something like "you know you still love me give me a big kiss". It's stupid but it ends up making us both laugh. The problem is often, if nobody breaks the ice, the ice gets harder to break.

could he be feeling pissed off that you were distant with him and he's supposed to accept that that's just how you are when you are due your period, but you were able to be nice and friendly to someone else?

I only put this forward cos it's how I think I have a timekeeping thing with dh - he never feels he has to keep to time with me, but he'll keep to time for anyone else - random strangers get a call if he'll be late, but I won't! And I think bugger me, shouldn't I be getting that? If he can make the effort for others, he should make it for ME!

See what I'm getting at? could he be thinking along those lines at all?

Anyway. Talk. Listen. And listen again.