To wonder why he bothers

[Nettiespagetti]

Ds 3.5 and dd1.5 go to swimming lessons. Dh most of year works on Sundays but sometimes he comes along b4 work.

Today he missed ds first jump of the board because he was too busy playing with his phone!! Other times he's been Reading the paper!!

If it were me and I wasn't in pool with dd I would be watching every minutes his face lights up when he foes something different.

Why bother if you are not that interested.? Aibu?

Why does he come if he doesn't get in the pool?

Maybe he's not interested but feels he ought to come, or knows you want him to come, or doesn't see a big deal of watching the swimming but wants to be there with you all?

Have you asked him about it? Not in a "Why don't you care" confrontational, accusatory way, but in a way that allows him to give you an answer, rather than feel he has to defend himself, iyswim.

Sorry, i am a complete water baby, so have to be in a pool, if i am going to a pool.

Def do as heQet says, much better plan!

Is he an attentive/involved father in other ways?

Yes he is on the whole he does really well when he is not working! He tries really hard and kids love him. Just ds was shouting dad dad at the window today and he didn't see him cos he was playing games on his phone!

I did ask if he wanted to take dd in today and he said no he'd rather not !!

Dd is parent and child class ds is on his own so unless dh gets in with daughter he is not allowed!

I do appreciate him coming cos he helps me get them ready but would love him to be more interested!

You are right I will try and speak to him, it's just difficult we rarely get to do family things cos he do busy it would be lovely if he embraced it when we do manage!!

people are different. th i would prolly e playing games on my phone too. its just swimming and not everyone feels like they need to watch every detail

God it's not like it's some monumental event is it?

You missed his first ever jump off the board, you'll never see him do it for the first time ever again - WTF?

I think the fact he comes before he goes to work shows that he is trying to be supportive, and that he is an involved father in all other aspects seems great

cut the guy some slack - watching kids dick around the water is dull

he bothers because it makes him feel part of something his family does perhaps..seems like you are being a bit harsh imo..not everyone would find watching others swimming that thrilling tbh...did you/your son tell him he was going to do his first dive and he purposely ignored him?..is there more to this?

Thx peeps I will!! Proportion blowing out of. Thx

I can't fathom taking a kid swimming but sitting like a lemon throughout.
Booooooooring.

I go swimming with my kids.

Had a chat with him, and he was genuinely embarrassed that ds was shouting and he didn't know cos he was to ingrossed in a game on his phone!!

It'll will prob be November before he can come again anyway!!

Thx for advice x