to be shocked by a 40-year-old woman telling me tos mack my kids!

[Upsidedowncake]

So I was at a dinner party last night hosted by friends with kids my age. There was a couple without children there who were in their 40s. Their choice not to have kids.

The woman spent half an hour telling me repeatedly 'What is wrong with society today is that nobody smacks their kids any more. You really should smack your son'

I know this has been done previously on MN. ButI really thought nobody in our generation thinks this any more. She was like caricature.

i'm 40 and i suppose it was the norm to be smacked and if she doesn't have kids would probably not be aware that we now question it.

so i would probably just ignore her politely and tell her that it's not really advised to do that now. and give reasons if you can be arsed

"You really should smack your son"

What just randomly? Like "good morning DS", SMACK?

Prescribe her a course of smacks on prescription from the GP
That's what I used to think Robbie Williams and Liam Gallagher needed at times

Not randomly ...but when he's naughty.
So not completely bonkers. But I still found her offensive.

I have one friend who spanks her DS when he's naughty and I guess that's her choice.

I have more than once been tempted to smack DS (he's 4) but I never have because it would be about losing my temper rather than making sure DS didn't do (whatever it was) again.

My FiL smacked DS at Christmas time (we were away) and whenever he mentions his granddad he mentions the smack. My MiL was very shocked but I'm sure that it hasn't done DS any harm.

'a course of smacks on prescription from the GP' - who would administer? The pharmacist or the GP?

It was an opinion and probably inspired some lively debate. Can't say I'd be spending too much time thinking about it tbh.

The pharmacist
Wouldn't do for the GPs to administer
Would upset the doctor/patient dynamic too much I reckon
Or you could delegate it to a third party
'The Smack Shop' perhaps

You let her go on and on for half an hour? Why?!

YABU, surely you could have steered the conversation elsewhere!

Some people (not just kids) do need a good smack IMO.

Believe me, I did try to steer the conversation elsewhere. But I was a little drunk so not very effective.

Does anyone else smack their children? Why? When?

Darrell. LOL 'Smack shop' - would have to be very careful about where it advertised in the Yellow Pages though.

Dual purpose
Very good in current NHS for cutting costs

could be special healthier smacks, methadone for masochists.

40 year old"You really should smack your son"
Upsidedowncake_"Like this?" Hauls off and smacks 40 yr old

It isn't her age btw, I am older than 40 and don't believe in hitting.

I have sometimes found that people who don't have children are the best people at telling me where I am going wrong in my child rearing. I tend to ignore those type of comments.

i'm forty and don't smack my children. Or at least I don't plan to, as a disciplining technique. I have done it though, and felt very bad about it.

I think people who don't have children think it is easy to discipline children and parents should be tougher and less indulgent, but that is hard to do without crushing your children. You want to have fun with them,.. I know I thought it would be easier and all parents were fools! And then I had children.

yes, she has godchildren - pity the poor ex best friend. A classic case - but one I didn't really think existed.

Gtamom - THat might have made her think twice about speaking her mind.

I'm in my 40s and believe in smacking kids occasionally, although I haven't done it past the age you can reason with them so generally around 5 to 7 and it was never used indiscriminately but mainly in dangerous situations or when a child has appauling behaviour that simply won't stop despite warnings. In fact I think I can count all the times I smacked each child up to that age on the fingers of my hand

So no it is isn't a given that nobody smacks their children. Although it is on mumsnet it seems.

Am still chuckling at your first comment Morloth.

I have actually found the emotional abusive language some people who pride themselves on not smacking use with their children far far worse than a short sharp smack.

I'm in my 40s and am in favour of the old-fashioned outlook and feel that children are far less well-behaved and respectful nowdays owing to changes in attitudes to discipline over the years. This isn't a view I'll change and neither do I feel the need to explain or defend my opinion.

Just as I don't expect anyone on a forum to tell me how to bring up my children I wouldn't expect anyone at a dinner party to tell you to smack yours. Say that they don't disagree with smacking yes, say that they feel society is suffering as a result of lack of discipline, fine, but tell you to smack your children?

I'd have told them where to go!

I agree with you on that activate. I definitely don't think kids are scarred by the odd swat on the behind. Especially for the reasons above. It is when a parent's first reaction is to to smack their kid, on a regular basis that I feel is not working anyways, or they would be getting into so much trouble to be spanked. I think in those cases, the parent is striking out in anger, not discipline. And for every little thing, not as you say a danger or really bad situation.
I did spank my first child, but by the time I had my second, 11 years had passed, and it never came up with him. They're grown now.

Yes, emotional abuse never totally leaves you.

I agree with Valhalla, lack of discipline is a problem in today's society. Whether this discipline needs to involve smacking is a whole other debate I think.

Our children are smacked occasionally. My best friend has never smacked hers. However, both of our children behave well on the whole because they have boundaries and discipline...we simply administer the discipline in different ways.