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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

it was a accident and i apologised.........

23 replies

bridewolf · 07/03/2010 10:12

in tescos with my mum, on saturday, and it was pretty crowded. as i said , it was a saturday afternoon, and,
my trolly bumped in to another trolley, and bumped into a womans little finger.

it must of been really painful, the woman sucked in a breath and grabbed her hand and held it to her chest .
i was apologised straight away, i felt dreadful.
anyway, the woman just looked up and glared at me, .........i repeated my apology, and she just, totally ignorned me.
i managed to get a quick glance at the finger, and am sure she was getting a bit of bruise.

as she continued to ignore me and just look daggers at me, i stopped talking, and she grabbed her trolley and flounced off.

now, i didnt expect her to say , ok its alright, but an aknowledgement that it was a accident, would have been ok, and i would have even dashed to grab a bag of frozen peas for her at that point, but she totally just looked at me as if, i had done it on purpose! and that i was the most evil, nasty thing, she had ever seen.

i wonder if she would have found more satisfaction if i had not said sorry, and had given her the chance to shout back at me, perhaps she felt robbed of the chance?

or maybe, she ran of to have a quiet sob about it............which isnt a nice thought, and to be honest, unless she has a extremely high pain threshold, its really not a sobbing type of pain.

my worst crime in all this is that i was a bit clumsy, (but not all trolleys are easy to control) and i am truely sorry.

OP posts:
bridewolf · 07/03/2010 10:13

obviously, cant spell on a sunday morning, sorry.

OP posts:
compo · 07/03/2010 10:15

sometimes when people are in pain though they don't act rationally
she was probably trying hard not to cry

abbierhodes · 07/03/2010 10:16

I think you're overthinking it to be honest.

EarthMotherImNot · 07/03/2010 10:18

I've been in the womans position I'm afraid and although her situation may have been different is it possible your bump was her last straw so to speak?

You know, when you've had your heels clipped a few times or had to steer around folk who insist on having a coffee morning in the aisles, or had to stand while someone checks every single pack of bacon before choosing one.

You did your best and thats all you can do.

MadameOvary · 07/03/2010 10:20

People in busy supermarkets are often really stressed anyway, she was prob having a bad day. It always feels crap when you apologise and get a glare back, but like you say it was an accident.

YABU but only to yourself. Just forget it

MamaG · 07/03/2010 10:21

forgeti t

When you hurt your little finger like that it bloody hurts and it happened to me - i couldn't speak I just thought "fuck off" to thep erson [irrational]

she's prob a bit cross, accident or no, but i wouldn't let it ruin your lfie

UnrequitedSkink · 07/03/2010 10:22

She's probably at home right now feeling guilty for glaring at you. Let it go.

WorzselMummage · 07/03/2010 10:32

Your lucky she didn't tell you to watch where your fucking going. I think I probably would have !

How come your playing the victim and she's the one with the bruised finger

Bathsheba · 07/03/2010 10:34

Very definately the last straw for her on a busy saturday I suspect.

I could have been that woman one day doing the school run - it was only 8:30 in the morning but I was very very pregnant, very frazzled, and my DD2 (ages 3) hates all weather of any kind, so the fact that it was raining and windy caused her to scream and scream the entire time.

2 little children ran into dd2 and knocked her over, it was absolutely an accident. their Dad was lovely and apologised profusely but it was SUCH the end of my tether (now having her screaming for a reason, and soaking wet) that all I could do was mutter "its okay" before going off in tears myself....

I feel really bad as he must have felt really bad, but it was all I could do that day...

belgo · 07/03/2010 10:34

'i wonder if she would have found more satisfaction if i had not said sorry, and had given her the chance to shout back at me, perhaps she felt robbed of the chance?'

You're probably absolutely right.

Mumcentreplus · 07/03/2010 10:50

I wouldn't worry tbh..she was pissed off can't blame her..at least you said sorry

Kewcumber · 07/03/2010 10:57

"How come your playing the victim and she's the one with the bruised finger" Worzel has it right.

You hurt her (albeit accidentally) why is she obliged to make you feel better?

BlameItOnTheBogey · 07/03/2010 10:57

YOu know when you stub your toe on the door and then you kick the door or shout at it in anger? It's totally irrational (door is clearly an inanimate object and not to blame) but it's just a way of venting about the pain? Well that's probably what this was about; she knows it was an accident and doesn't really blame you but it hurt and she was cross. No big deal and you should let it go.

[Bogey hopes furiously that other people shout at doors and she hasn't just outed herself as a crazy person.]

BrokenFinger · 07/03/2010 11:04

FFS that was you!!??!!

...and you think sorry is enough? I'll have you know I was having a very bad day and your malicious attack accident was the icing on the cake...

You know, thinking about it, I'm sure you were all in on it - the lady who rammed her trolley into my shin as I fed ds a few grapes, the lunatic who fired a bottle of water at me knocking the fruitshoots out of my hands, the cryer who hung out of my cardigan praising my ample bust and begging me to remove the bottle from dd's mouth...and YOU rushing towards me trapping my fingers so I would release the feminine products from my hand. I saw you watching me as I walked past the mooncups, I should have know an attack was imminent!

I know what it is - you're all them netmums aren't you

aristocat · 07/03/2010 11:11

at BrokenFinger

very good!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Blu · 07/03/2010 11:19

Poor poor BrokenFinger.

FFS, OP - have you never been in that total pain moment where it is nit yet possible to speak, let alone speak graciously and calmly? You should have offered to fetch the peas whether she smiled at you or not.

But I think this is a wind up - I don't see how you can have seen that a breuise was starting to form.

gtamom · 07/03/2010 11:29

You apologized, try and not dwell on it. Neither of you was rude or mean.

RedBlueRed · 07/03/2010 11:35

I have been in this situation, the only thing that would have come out of my mouth, had I let it, would have been profanities.

My mother says "If you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all."

Georgimama · 07/03/2010 11:38

You're over thinking it.

Frazzled Saturday mornings in supermarkets are the reason we now have our groceries delivered. My sanity is worth six quid.

kerstina · 07/03/2010 11:49

I can sympathise with the lady. A few weeks ago i was looking in the toy department of a store when i suddenly felt a really sharp pain in the back of my leg .A boy about eight had been playing with or riding a skateboard and it had crashed into me ! I wanted to yell at him as it was SO PAINFUL but he said sorry straight away and looked the same age as my son so just bit my lip .No sign of the parents. I had a huge bruise that has only just gone, good to have a whinge about it on here !

Joolyjoolyjoo · 07/03/2010 11:52

Well, I'm a well-brought up kind of girl, so I would have smiled at you through my tears and told you it was fine. It was obviously an accident and you did apologise and obviously felt bad about it.

Similar happened to me once. I was early pregnant and wandering around a supermarket when a heavily pregnant and I bumped trolleys, both looking the other way. I apologised and her DP went off at me, ranting and raging. She said nothing. I left my shopping and ran out the supermarket in tears (hormones! )

I'd rather be the bumpee than the bumper: sore finger better than being made to feel awful, IMO, so I am always nice to people who are genuinely sorry.

Prinnie · 07/03/2010 11:54

How rude and unreasonable of the lady! As my sister would say whadda bitch! You did the right thing, some people just have no manners.

misdee · 07/03/2010 12:08

i would've glared anf flounced, and then probably cried round the corner [wuss]

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