To be upset at non reciprocated party invitation

[Twilightobsessed]

We had a smallish party for dd?s 2nd bday last summer. I invited an acquaintance and her dds 2 and 1. They weren?t able to make it. I didn?t know them very well at the time but invited them because our children were going to be in the same KG class, which they now are.

Anyway this friend held her dd 3rd birthday party last week, invited a load of people including half the class, but not us.

AIBU to be miffed? Still, after a week?

My head?s saying ? FFS, get over it just a 3 year old?s bday party etc
But - still feeling a bit left out and sorry for dd2 that she didn?t get an invite and missed out on the fun and the opportunity to mix with her new friends

Anyway genuinely not sure aibu

YABU
it's a 3yo birthday party

get over it

ok

what mamag said

Oh, and stop reading Twilight and read some grown ups books!

yabu
it still annoys me sometimes but even I know iabu. you may as well get used to it - it'll be happening again some time soon

what fanjolina said

You had a smallish party, which means you did not invite all of your DD's friends presumably. Has your DD been to anybody's party that did not come to hers?

Invites are not given out on the understanding that they will be reciprocated.

YABU but then you know that already

Grown ups's even.

Note to self. If typing a gratuitously offensive post, proof read carefully before pressing "post message"

IM@O this thread was dealt with in 3 posts, from OP to Op syaing "Yes ok IABU"!

YABU for feeling like this, it is the way of children's parties.

YABU to start the whole children's party thing before the age of four - they are such a bore and are best avoided until you child actually wants one .

Having said all of they I can understand why you are put out!

I know how you feel, OP . I would say yanbu but... maybe not yanbu the way MN means it. You understandably feel disappointed for your DD, but you can't do anything about it. And fwiw, in my experience only about 10% of party or play invites are recipricated. So no point in getting annoyed about it, just the way life is!

Am surprised at the strong yabu response, many people on MN would adamently say that it's very bad form to invite more than a third of the class/nursery unless you're going to invite all of them, lol. So I would have expected you go get more support.

oops, "you go to get" in last response

YABU..Which you know already. You have worst to come, sorry to say, jusy let it wash over you.

Seeker, if you're going to correct yourself it's best make sure your correction is correct before you press 'Post Message' !!!

Well, I disagree with the general consensus. I don't think the OP is BU. It's bad manners not to return invitations. I would be pissed off as well particularly as half the class were invited.

I also disagree with the general consensus.

Of course, nobody has the "right" to go to someone else's party but it is polite to reciprocate the invite, especially when there are quite a lot of children going anyway.

I have just done my DS's party invites and there is no way I would have left people off the list who have invited DS to their parties earlier in the year - given that we invited 12 people so numbers were not particularly limited. Obv it is different for a v small party.

Anyway, YANBU. The general consensus is WRONG, so there

Just to add that you would be unreasonable to say anything about it, but you are totally not being unreasonable to be upset about it. (Not for too long though as it is just a 3yo's party).

Had a similar situation. It DOES hurt on your DC's behalf a bit doesn't it? It's daft to be bothered but it's only human.

It's not a big deal though and I expect there will be more of this as they get older - that's what I'm told anyway!

I don't think YABU to feel a bit put out, my dd has a friend who I have invited to every party, not to mention play dates, as well as mum over for coffee. Said mum has never once invited me back to hers, or DD over for play date or EVER to a party. Needless to say, I shall not be offering any more invites. If they weren't close friends I could understand, but they have been good friends since Pre-school....

I think we feel more put out than our DC's though tbh, best thing is to just let it go. I still invite other kids who don't reciprocate, but won't be inviting ones like above anymore who take the proverbial....

I wish more people wouldn't feel they have to reciprocate at this age. I don't have any issue at all with DS not being invited back as long as his close friends come.

YANBU to be a little irritated but... a week later!? Have you thought of taking up a hobby to occupy yourself

yabu, and in the nicest possible way: grow up

I do not hold tabs on who reciprocates and who doesn´t. Is this you first child

Don't let your DC be upset about it - if your DD tells you that her friend told her about the party that DD wasn't invited to, just make light of it and say "Oh well, never mind, you can't always go to every party".
No point getting upset about it yourself when there are going to be plenty of times that your child isn't invited to a party.
Better to make it clear to your DD now that this sort of thing happens and not to be disappointed because it doesn't mean she hasn't got any friends, it just means that parents can't always have every child at a party.
Beyond Reception at school it gets much easier because DCs often just want one or two good friends to join them doing something special on their birthday rather than wanting a party with everyone they know. I relish the end of the class party stage and will encourage ds3 to copy his older brothers

Stewiesmom is right some people invite 30 children and some invite 6, being polite and reciprocating isn't always possible if you invite who your DC actually want.

I find it a bit awkward in yr 1 at the moment
ds has a very clear best friend, but he has been invited to 2 parties this month that his best friend hasn't been invited too
ds seems hilosophical about it but it seems a bit strange to me