To be wary of getting involved with men for the time being?

[poshsinglemum]

I have a history of being involved with abusive men and dds dad left me. I have come to a point where I am truly happy on my own atm and relish my freedom but at the same time I'd liek to experience a loving relationship.
Trouble is I no longer trust my judgement and I don't want the wrong man to bugger things up for me. I just feel that the men in my life have subtrcted from it, not added to it if that makes sense. Apart from dds dad who has given me a wonderful dd and for taht I am thankful. I am not bitter towards dds dad- it wasn't taht abusive a relationship. We just weren't meant to be.

This issue seems to keep cropping up for you. Have you looked into therapy?

subtracted

I am having it now. CBT- but it isnt going to dissappear over night.

You do seem to be doing a lot of soul-searching at the moment, psm.
I have some similar issues to you, and I have read a few useful books recently - a couple about abusive men, one about mothers and daughters, and an american one about dating (the complete Rules).
The Rules book is a laugh, but made me think. Had I been a Rules heroine, abusive ex would have sheared off pretty fast, he wouldnt have had anything to do with a woman with self respect.
Anyway, the point of all this rambling is - I now feel that I could spot an abuser a mile off. And have a fair chance of being attracted to a non abusive man - if I ever got near one, that is.