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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to feel like clobbering my Scrooge like sister

24 replies

Buddleja · 06/03/2010 12:22

Just got off the phone to her when she (surprise surprise) moaned about the price of a tee-shirt her DD wanted (I think it was at the princely sum of £6). This complaining about things that aren't that expensive is a regular thing with her (in fact i can't think of a conversation I've had with her in the last 7 years that didn't contain at least one complaint about money)

Now you might think "Well times could be hard for her", and that would be fair enough but this is the same sister that inherited a few million pounds from her DH's family. This being after they inherited enough to pay off their mortgage from another relative. This fact wouldn't bother me so much if she had told me how wonderful and that they had a ridiculous amount of cash (stated amount) and it was the same day that I was grubbing around the back of the sofa for a loaf of bread

Yes I'm bitter and twisted about her wealth but I would bear it better if she wasn't so flipping mean and moany.

Rant over.

OP posts:

gtamom · 06/03/2010 12:34

She sounds weird! And should share with her sister! I would with my brother!

LaurieFairyCake · 06/03/2010 12:38

It must be about something other than money

if my sister did this I would say "aren't you a multi-millionaire with no mortgage? What the feck have you spent it on"?

If she then said she hadn't spent it I would be asking what she's going on about and if she thought she was trying to sympathise with me in some ham-fisted way.

Original poster

Buddleja · 06/03/2010 12:53

I have said that to her (not those exact words)

Apparently she doesn't think that things should cost that much ie you can get tee-shirts for cheaper (me pointing out that the cheaper tee-shirt doesn't have the picture her DD liked on it didn't sink in)

Ha ha gtamom I'm tempted to phone her back now and ask her to pay off my mortgage that'd certainly help me out

OP posts:

LaurieFairyCake · 06/03/2010 12:56

That would really wind me up. I get annoyed that things cost that little. One of the things I would do if I was as rich as her was buy fairtrade everything so that my footprint on the planet was smaller instead of feeling forced to buy cheap t-shirts cos dd grows so fast (she doesn't seem interested in peopletree, just cheapy Newlook/Primark crap).

bronze · 06/03/2010 12:59

Laurie I'm the same as you. Would love top buy everything as ethically as possible and inheriting that type pf money would mean we could

diddl · 06/03/2010 13:01

But although she can now easily afford it, and it isn´t a lot of money to her, it doesn´t stop her thinking it is expensive, IYSWIM.

But she should shut up about it so YANBU.

But I think 6 GBP is a lot for a childs t shirt.

ninedragons · 06/03/2010 13:04

Is it a very clumsy attempt to be sensitive about your circumstances and fit in with you?

Perhaps she trying not to seem like the squillionaire who got it handed to her on a plate.

MNingatmidnight · 06/03/2010 13:06

Diddl -

Seriously? So where do you buy them cheaper than £6?

OP - I think it's terrbile that she leaves her own sister to struggle whilst she sits there as a multi millionaire. I can't even imagine a situation like that within my immediate family, I know we'd all help each other out if one of us came into that sort of money.

TheCrackFox · 06/03/2010 13:19

Rich people are always stingy that is how they keep their money.

HumphreyCobbler · 06/03/2010 13:27

It is not true that rich people are always stingy, I have been the recipient of a great deal of generous help by rich friend/relatives.

OTTMummA · 06/03/2010 14:12

if she didn't grow up with money why would her state of mind about it change?
i think £6 for a childs tee shirt is a bit too much aswell tbh, i would buy it at that price as a one off, if it was really wanted by DC, but normaly no i wouldn't pay that much.

YANBU to feel the way you feel though, she should be more considerate of your feelings

Chandon · 06/03/2010 15:39

maybe she does it to show you that nothing ahs changed (even if it has), and wouldn´t you be even more pissed off if she´d go out and buy her DD $600 D&G kit?!

Original poster

Buddleja · 06/03/2010 21:46

$600 D&G kit - tee hee - it's so far from what would ever happen I can't even imagine what I'd think of it!!!

The tee-shirt was what her DD for her birthday which made it extra irksome!!

OP posts:

Scorps · 06/03/2010 21:55

My parents are, shall we say, comfortable and they always moan about prices, and ask me to pay them for any bits of shopping they get me or food they cook me. It's how they keep their wealth, they worked hard for it and it has to last them - and it has taught my sisters and I a great deal.

MaisietheMorningsideCat · 06/03/2010 21:58

Has she shared any of this fortune with you?

Original poster

Buddleja · 06/03/2010 22:04

No maisie though I wouldn't expect her too (though offering a bit to my parents would have been a nice gesture). However if did (don't think this anymore!!) use to feel it would be nice if she'd get my DCs something that wasn't from Primark or the pound shop.

I don't think she's sympathising with me though I think she's just (very) stingy!! Judging by past incidents

OP posts:

MaisietheMorningsideCat · 06/03/2010 22:07

She hasn't??? No, that's not on....

Coldhands · 07/03/2010 07:43

If I had money, I would only be too glad to share it with my family. But didn't this money come from your sisters DH's family? If this is the case then maybe he doesn't want to give money to her family seeing as it came to him. If I inherited money, I wouldn't be giving it to my ILs IYSWIM. But then they don't need it and have never helped us with a damn thing so that may cloud my judgement somewhat.

I don't think £6 for a t shirt that your niece wanted as a present is too expensive at all. When your sister moans about money, just cut her off and say "at least you have all that £££ that you inherited, what are you moaning about?" Pull her up on it and she may stop.

MrsNetz · 07/03/2010 07:57

Maybe she used her money for mortgage etc and it is now all tied up! Just because she has it does not mean it is accessible to her.

Or maybe she just trying to fit in.

Or maybe she just very careful with it.

Bathsheba · 07/03/2010 08:26

My Dh has a habit of "railing against everything" - its part of who he is and a very negative upbringing. The more stressed he is, the more he does it.

I suspect if he had all the money in the world, sometimes he'd still rant and rail about "how some companies just try to rip everyone off" and "there is absolutely no need for things to cost that much/look like that/be packaged in that way" along with his all time favourite "why do people do "that" - is it just to annoy evryone".

So yes, if he was in the right mood, then no matter how much money he had, the fact that someone had the temerity to price an item at £6 when he saw it as only worth £4, would incurr much ranting and railing...

Original poster

Buddleja · 07/03/2010 10:29

You see MrsNetz she's told me (at the time of my change searching) how much money she has in one of their bank account (accumulated from their mortgage free second rented out property)

So I'd say she's very careful with it then

Any-who I'm over my little rant now (until the next conversation )

OP posts:

MaisietheMorningsideCat · 07/03/2010 14:11

Even if it had been used to buy property, she would still have had access to it before investing it. For the life of me, I can't understand why you wouldn't help your family out if you fell heir to a fortune like that - it's just sheer greed. Similarly, even if it was DH's family you are all still family - surely your BIL would be more than happy to distribute some of this wealth (the wealth that neither your DS or BIL actually earned)?

I don't blame for you feeling rather bitter about ther moans actually, given the siutation!

Nancy66 · 07/03/2010 14:24

so she's inherited millions and not given a penny to her sister or mother - never treated your mum to a holiday? Not even offered a loan?

MrsNetz · 07/03/2010 14:38

Ok I see your point, of she has told you how much and then moaning!!! I'm just trying to look at it from another point of view!

My dh never wants to feel like he is being ripped off regardless of how much money he has!

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