To think that remembering your Grandaughter's 4th birthday shouldn't be that hard.

[4pinkbabies]

Ok, so we don't see DH's family that often as they live 7 hours away and we have 4 small kids, but ffs, I have never once forgotten DN or DN's birthdays, or Grandma's. So here we are again, it's DD's birthday and yet again, not even so much as a card or text message from ANY of them. DD hasn't even noticed, of course. Over the course of the next few weeks, cards and presents may or may not arrive in dribs and drabs. Dh just rolled his eyes and knows what they are like. Lazy.

Er yes, that's a bit shit!

I remember my mum being furious when my grandma forgot my 21st. By then I was used to it!

got the same with my mil my kids are now 14,15 and 18 and between them they have had 7 birthday cards she only lives 2 streets away fil and smil who live 450 miles away never forgets any of their birthdays.

Not unreasonable- i'd be fuming

simply not acceptable IMO
i would not be sending them anything, or do what i do, phone them up and say ' so sorry but DD didn't recieve your card/present in the mail, did you keep the recipt so you can find out where it has been lost?!'
that statement is for family members who often forget to post a card for DS, or DH when we send things for all family extended aswell!

my mil is like this, they live in australia so we never see them, but she is always on the phone crying about how much she misses my dd, wishes she could see her more blah blah blah and then doesnt send a bloody xmas or birthday card. it is lazy and bloody thoughtless.

YANBU
my parents didn't send anything for dd's 18th until a week later
inconsiderate

YADNBU. My Ds has two great-grandmothers on my side, and a great-grandmother and great grandfather on my DP's side. They all manage to remember DS's birthdays, let alone my parents.

My Mum lives almost as far away as your DD's Grandmother (Cornwall to our Kent) and she only sees him once or twice a year, but she has never forgotten his birthday or christmas, and often sends things up for him as a treat anyway.

No excuse whatsoever. I'd be seeing if your DP can't have a word with them or something. Or maybe cut back the birthday greetings in return to just a text or something. Don't 'forget', but make a point of saying (if they ask) that you don't see why you should go to all that trouble when they obviously don't care about birthdays themselves. Because if they DID care about birthdays, surely they'd remember that of a small child, for whom birthdays will be increasingly important over the next few years.

Are they like it with everyone?

If so YABU!

Oh and giving to recieve is awful.

YABU receiving a present is not a right. It is not up to you to dictate the nature of the relationship of other family members with your children. It is not your right to have them even see your children, let alone remember birthdays etc. Giving is discretional and up to the giver!

YADNBU - after my inlaws and my own parents and siblings managed to "forget" my DDs 18th i havent sent another thing to any of them - and of course questions have been asked - to which i answered almost exactly as Tottwriter said and told them all that i wasnt sending cards as THEY hadnt felt it was important to send one so why should i......

YABU. Some people just don't see exact dates as important, or value cards. I know that when ds is old enough to notice, I'll have to phone ILs a couple weeks in advance and tell them to buy and send a card - they're lovely people but it really wouldn't occur to them or DH to do it.
They just don't notice dates - I ended up missing sending DN a card last year for his first birthday as no-one had told me when his birthday was, just "born a bit ago" and by the time I asked nearly a year later turned out it was too late.

Just thank your lucky stars that your life is so damn easy that this seems like a big deal, and then, - get over it!

my mil is the same, but she is like it with everyone, i even have to remind her when its my DPs birthday, even though hers is 3 days after.

on my DS 1st birthday me and DP were really annoyed with her, but as the years have gone on we have come to realise that its not really that important and we just call her a week before and she lets us know when she'll be over.

she helps us all out all the time, if the kids ever need anything and were skint she will get it for us, shes like it with all her DC, she will help with MOTs or tax for her kids cars or pick us up things that we need, in my opinion things like that are far more important than remembering birthdays.

live and let live i say

If you know they are forgetful then maybe you should have reminded them?

It wouldn't take much for you to spend a quick text to say "btw it's dd's 4th birthday on Saturday".

4PinkBabies:

FGS YABU: is it too much trouble for you to gently remind relatives a couple of weeks before during one of your chatty weekend phone calls?

Rellies have lives too - and perhaps rather a lot of grandchildren to remember every single birthday.

My mother forgets my birthday - so why should I expect her to remember 8 grandchildren?

I'm like this. Dps family are like this. No biggie