To bawl my chuffing eyes out whilst looking at my older brothers pics on facebook ?

[SwissCheeseIsHolyCheesus]

He sent me a load of pics from when he was about 18 along with a message saying 'looking at these I wasnt that ugly'

Makes me

He suffered horrendous abuse as a child and has no confidence or self worth, always walks with his head down etc.

He actually was and is a very good looking guy, what gives anybody the right to destroy a person in this way

Sorry for venting on here, but there is no way I could tell anybody this in real life, just had to spill.

Hope you replied and said - my god, are you mad? You really were a looker! Still are.

I have, i'm always telling him he's good looking etc, too much damage has been done I think.

Your brother is lucky to have you . . I bet he`s really handsome.
But you are right , no one should have the right to destroy a person.
and for you both.

How awful for your brother.
has he tried counselling?

Yes, had counselling, i'm having counselling too, to try and cope with what happened to my brother. He's still a little boy in so many ways

That is terrible for your brother.

But, maybe he is starting to realise? His comment that he was not that ugly, is it something he has said or realised before?

No, his wife met somebody else and left recently, this has knocked him back even more.

I hope he meets somebody really special.. in the meantime he's a very lucky guy to have you in his life.

I suppose the best you can do is keep listening and keep telling him how fab he is.

I wouldn't like to think, as you say, that "too much damage has been done". There are people here on MN who have come through terrible shit and, with a special person beside them, have found a whole new life in their own new family.. I hope he gets to be a Dad.. I bet he'd be brill..

Have you done bodily harm to her? I know that we don't know the history and she might have a very good reason for leaving - but FGS I still want to slap her!!

I too hope he meets someone really special, who can help him to understand he is attractive, worthy, worthwhile & loved.

He is so lucky to have you

Is there anything we could do that would help you/him?? I could only think of posting a photo of him on your profile and starting a new thread so we could comment on how good looking he is - but I can't think of a way of doing it that doesn't seem manufactured/like he's a bit of meat/patronising.....

He has a daughter, shes moved hundreds of miles away to be with some guy she met on the net and has been very cruel tbh, he dosent understand how somebody who once loved him could turn on him in this way.

He's had a lot of success, has a good job, is very likeable etc he just dosent see any of it.

Even his profile pic on facebook is one of him from when he was about 6, he said it's because it's the only nice pic he has

Hopefully his relationship with his daughter will come good. If he leaves the door open it probably will one day.

It's incredibly sad how somebody can not see all the good things about themselves that others can..

He still sees her, shes only 10.

Think its worse because his wife was his best friend, always at gigs together etc.

she got bored apparently

Maybe things weren't that easy for her either, Swiss.

Either way, he deserves better. Is there anybody you could introduce him to? Or, better than one person, a circle of friends?

Point is, life is boring, my lifes boring!! but I know if it ever got so miserable I left there is no way I would move my kids nearly 400 miles away from their dad to be with somebody a bit more exciting !!

He has lots of friends, he's very loved even his ex wifes mum and dad have said they're disgusted by her, he's like a son to them !

He just has no self esteem and a low view of himself, the result of various shite he went through as a boy.