To think school would mention that homework hadn't been done.

[madsadlibrarian]

Large amount of contributory spinelessness from me but...

Son brought home letter in late September saying that they would have spellings and homework every weekend. They were given a homework diary - idea being they write down what homework they have to do. Son brought homework home for first few weeks - but since them homework diary has been blank. Parents evening came and went during October. Did think that the had 'slipped' a bit given the grand plans outlined at start of year - flashy diary only used for a few weeks. Now discover from another parent in class that they have been getting homework all year. I know it is child's fault + mine for believing him, but am I being unreasonable to be amazed that the teacher has been letting him get away with it all year ?

Of course the school should tell you, although I must admit I would probably contact the school after 3 weeks of no homework - but then I work in a school so it isn't new to me. I guess the teacher would have assumed your child was practising spellings and if he got them wrong, may have assumed he just wasn't good at spelling.

It's a tricky one, but we learn. I bet your son doesn't get away with it again! x

the school should have contacted you. Why didnt the teacher mention it on parents evening? My child was in the infants in year 3, and she forgot her spellings book so, the school had to ring home for me to come and bring it in straight away.

How old is he?

he's 9

my dd is in y4 and never seems to do her homework, but they have never mentioned anything to me (or her)

If he is 9 I would expect the school to punish him (detention/loss of start/whatever is the usual procedure) rather than contacting you. My ds is the same age and frankly I don't usually check if he's done his homework- if he wants to get into trouble, that's his outlook. But of course that presupposes a teacher that would let him get into trouble.

I personally find it a worry if the school don't notice/notify parents of these things.
They have a responsibility to teach children about responsibility and consequences as well as you. Boys are also notoriously bad for this kind of thing, they all tend to leave coursework till the last minute too.

DS1 (now 17 doing A levels) went through this stage 1st year of senior school as a means to 'fit in' and not be bullied for being a nerd. The school never noticed, I did.
Eventualy got a meeting with the head of year who said 'Such is the nature of the beast, that if DS1 isn't causing a disturbance in class, i won't get to hear about him.' Basicaly translated as we don't give a damn unless he's disturbing the rest of the class. We moved schools and house very shortly afterwards!!!

I don't contact parents if the child hasn't done homework, but child gets to do it at lunchtime.
I do check that homework has been written down, but then child sometimes claims to have 'lost' the book. And the paper slip that replaced it.
So lunchtimes work quite well.

My DS gets off the bus and the first thing I ask is have you got homework and did you bring it home ??

If he doesn't remember to bring it home, I take him straight back to school to get it and he loses his break time and starts his homework as soon as he gets home.

Why in the name of all that is good and Holy, did you really believe that he didn't have homework ??

Can't believe you took a blank homework diary to mean homework wasn't being set rather than your DS wasn't writing it down, TBH!

On the other hand, if it was causing a problem at school, presumably they'd have contacted you - maybe he is getting it done in school but not bothering to write it down? Have you actually asked your DS whether he has been doing homework or not?

'I personally find it a worry if the school don't notice/notify parents of these things.
They have a responsibility to teach children about responsibility and consequences as well as you.'

Exactly. His responsibility to do homework, his lunchtime detention.

His parent not bothering to wonder why no homework, or ask the teacher, or another parent of a child in the same class. Perhaps the teacher didn't think you were interested.

How did the teacher say he is doing at the parents evening? Perhaps they haven't noticed he is not doing spelling practice if he is still getting good marks on spelling tests etc?

thangu thangu mumsnetters - particularly the strict ones who said I shd take responsibility...

spoke to teacher and now have an answer - [shortened version of our conversation below] the other child is in a different "group" for maths - my son's group hasn't had "much" homework - didn't dare ask teacher what "much" was as I was afraid to sound as though I was criticising the lack of homework.

me: erm has he done the homework when it was set? also a bad question, apparently [pretend not to notice verbal slap, I'm here now I'm going to get to the bottom of this]

me: has he had spellings ?

tchr: he misses playtime and goes to the welfare room...

me: and he fills in the spelling sheet?

tchr: no.

So if he doesn't do his spellings he gets to play in welfare rather than run the guantlet of the "mean boys" in the playground

LittleGit 1 System 0

or so he thinks...another parent is going to email me the spellings every week and we'll make up our own sheet. thanks for giving me the 'toe up the behind' to go and speak to her - as I say I'm a bit spineless when it comes to tchrs.