Walking my mother's dog

[LEMisdiscombobulated]

i am going to get my arse flamed to kingdom come but hey ho, here goes

My mums dog is really too big for her (my fault - long story). She generally doesnt struggle with taking him out, but her health is erratic and often she isn;t up to it. She would phone me at the most inconvenient times and ask me to walk him, which of course i would, but id sort of resent it because of the timing etc. ie, when im knackered or busy.

So anyway, she started talking about hiring a dogwalker because she felt she coudlnt cope with him anymore. So i said, dont pay a dog walker, pay me. I offered to do it for £30 a week, cheaper than a dog walker AND she generally gives me random amounts of money because we are a bit strapped. So, it gives me reliable money and i know that i have to walk the dog so i make plans accordingly. Also, she probably would only be giving me that anyway - she can afford it.

So, started a couple of weeks ago, walking the dog in the MINGING weather, i dont mind. At the end of the week, she insisted on giving me £50, i didnt want that much so felt obliged to walk the dog at the weekend. But she insisted. So, im already a bit uncomfortable.

But just recently, she wants to come with me - that drives me nuts, also - wtf?? im now in a position where i am charging my mother to come for a walk with me. I was ill this week so couldnt take him out for three days, she took him no problems.

She STILL insisted on giving me £50 so thats ££50 for two half hour walks - i would have probably done a good hour to two hours had she not been with me!

I just feel a bit patronised, i know she is being kind and generous and the money is more than useful - it will buy DD a pair of school shoes this weekend. But it feels wrong. But if i stop then it will go back to the guilt trip phone calls of XX hasnt' been for his walk today, poor xx. Then its 8pm and im knackered and i dont want to be walking her yeti dog.

Sorry, im a mean spirited selfish cow but does anyone sort of get where im coming from when i think i might tell her i dont want to walk her dog anymore

Doesn't walking the dog with your mum let you off other visits / trips out/ calls in for a cuppa with her?

If it does just get on with it. If it doesn't tell her to get a dog walker as you are too busy?? now.

This sounds nasty- it probably is - but does your mum spend her days out with someone 20 years older than her, no? - but she assumes you will choose to spend fun times with her.

I love my Mum and enjoy time with her but not as much time as she wants to spend with me. You have to compromise.

could you say that you'll walk the dog on xx days for £30, or whatever you think is reasonable, and then, separately - if she still wants to give you £50 and/or other random bits of money put them in a bank account for dd - then you can accept it gracefully, on her behalf, and use it for big things and/or saving. without feeling patronised.

re her coming with you - I don't think you need to feel that that undermines you providing a chargeable service. if you have an agreement to do a particular job, on a particular day, part of the hassle is earmarking that time (as you know) and you still have earmarked that time, and spent it doing what you committed to do - her coming with you is her choice, and nice. but it's still ok to charge.

I don't see the problem tbh. You offerred to walk the dog, she pays you, sometimes she wants to tag along.

Bit mean to moan about her imo.

i know i know its mean - but it turns a lovely relaxing walk into something stressful - stressful because if i am walking the dogs and they are off lead (my little rat dog comes to) and i see another dog, i quickly weigh things up - like, is the owner suddenly calling their dog back to put them on the lead, or are they happy to leave them - if they are happy to leave them i just let them get on with it, i love watching dogs play. My mother panics, starts shouting at the dogs, saying quick quick, get them on the lead and i am then stressed. Where i prefer to walk along the beach (whilst it its still possible as dogs banned during the summer - rightly so) she wants to walk round back streets and then tells me that i am disgusting for picking up the poo - yes, you read that right! Apparently we shouldnt have to do that - its the council's job

But she IS lonely, she doesn't have any friends and rely's on me too much - im sure ive posted loads about it.

Anyway - wont be taking dog anywhere today - tripped over DPs shite at the bottom the stairs and have sprained my ankle, properly can't put any weight on it sprained it .