.... What is a lie in?

[issysmilkbottle]

ok, dh and i are having a disagreement over what makes a lie in a lie in....

In my mind, a lie in is when you stay in bed after half eight...not when you go back to bed after getting up and doing things...

Background is, dh works various shifts, 7:30-3, 2-9:30 and a night of 9-7-ish. When he is on his late shift of 2-9:30 he'll typically stay in bed until around 10:30-11:30. I think thats a long lie in. On days off it can be until 12:00....

We have my ds (10) living with us plus dd who is 14 Weeks, my dsd (14) stays with us occasionally....

Dd is ebf, ds cycles to school and leaves at about 8:15am. I am usually up a couple of times in the night with dd and i get up at 7:45 to make sure ds is ok and see him off to school.

Dh has recently agreed that i should have a lie in occasionally too (gee, thanks!) but, to him that means that he gets up around 9/9:30 to deal with dd.... , shes usually been awake since 7:30-ish, and the says its my 'choice' to get up with ds - i don't like the idea of ds going to school having not seen either of us....

Aibu to think that on the days that its my lie in i should be able to stay in bed, alone, while dh gets up to see ds (his dss) off to school and deal with dd? Or is dh right in thinking that my lie in can start at 9:30?

Def not!! A lie in means having someone bring you up a cup of tea in bed while you listen to the radio, watch TV, read a magazine or have a doze. If you allow dh to sleep on or watch TV in bed or whatever he likes to do when it's his turn to lie in, then he should def return the favour. Don't back down on this one!!

I dunno, I am having a "lie in" today as DH is doing the school run for me. But I got up and got their breakfast/got DS sorted for school and have gone back to bed.

He's a father of a 14 week old baby and he regularly stays in bed until 10.30/11.30? Have to say I think he is being very unreasonable and pretty lazy - his day shifts are still a normal length of time, it's not like he's working from 7am to 9pm. After a night shift, that's fair enough, you need to help him when he has to sleep during the day, but otherwise he should get up and join his family. So no, you are not being unreasonable, when you need a lie in, he should get up and deal with the stuff you usually do.

A lie in is when you can get up when you want to and not when you have to. DP and I take turns to have a lie in at the weekends and that means the other one has to get up when the baby gets up (and we have earplugs so lie-ins aren't disturbed by the subsequent noise )

Going back to bed is a nap and not the same.

no no no.

we have dd age 3.5 and ds 3 months. dh works 6am (up at 5am) til 3pm, home by 4pm latest. i'm on maternity leave. i wake once or twice in the night to bf ds. then we're up at 7am to get dd ready for nursery.

on weekends he 'lies in' until 7am (2 hours longer than normal) when he gets dd up and sorted. i feed ds in bed at 7am then he takes him as well. I DO NOT GET OUT OF BED. then i stay in bed, ASLEEP until ds needs his next feed at around 9am when i get up. so therefore i too have had a 2hr lie in, the same as dh

Agree with Wilbur. You have a 14 wk baby, you should have all the lie-ins possible.

Although, thinking about it, both my parents are shift workers and they have a very different attitute to sleep.

My Mum would think nothing of getting in from work at 3am and going to bed until 7am, getting us to school and then coming home and going back to bed til midday.

DH and I take turns for lie-ins.

I stay in bed a bit longer Saturday and he does on Sunday. Sometimes we have a day out planned and it is worth foregoing the lie in, but generally it is a closely guarded luxury.

Getting up for a few hours and then going back to bed is not the same. It is still good, but it is not a lie in.

My dh thinks a lie in for me is that he gets up with dd and makes the tea and her milk and i'm down shortly after, however his lie ins are defo much longer in fact very rare for me to go into him so he gets up when he likes.

I think a lie in is getting up when you want too and that you should get a cup of tea and possibly some toast!

We're the same as Nickytwotimes, take it in turns. Although now I am pg and feeling v rough DH is being v generous with his lie ins and letting me have them, though sometimes he will go back to bed when I get up, which is ok for him as he will sleep. As for me, once I am awake I am awake so the key to a lie in ensuring nothing wakes me up (hence ear plugs and an eye mask ).

I think your DH should get up to see to DSS sometimes. With a 14 week old and bfing through the night I think he should man up and give you a few lie ins.