To find cryptic FB status updates highly irritating?

[MrsWobbleTheWaitress]

What's the point? Either write a proper status, or keep schtum. What are you hoping for writing something cryptic?

I love this from that Urban dictionary link:

Mary is: "wondering if it is all worth it"

"Good grief, Mary, give the fishing for sympathy a break and phone a friend instead of vaguebooking. Hmm, what's this? 'Hide all updates from Mary'? Much better, now I only get updates worth reading!"

I may use it next time. Actually I have hidden people who do this. Some people seem to do nothing but complain.

I defriend people who do nothing but complain. Oh and people who CONSTANTLY (not just occasionally but CONSTANTLY) update about their kids 'ookum-snookums did a poo on the potty!! So proud!!!!!!!' One I read recently was along the lines of 'I'm so pleased pooky-bum loves me so much she sits at the bottom of the stairs and cries when I go to the toilet. She loves her Mummy!!! Makes me feel so needed!' Pooky-bum is 3. Argh.

Thanks for the failbooking site though realises working this morning is probably not going to happen

OMG! I find this highly annoying. I have two friends in particular who do this and one in particular who updates her status about 5 times a day. WTF?

The other day one of those friends posted a message that went something like this:

"I have an announcement to make............."

Cue the inquisitive comments to which she replied to some and not others:

"........I've inboxed you"

Next day a change of status:

"If you want to know.....just ASK"

Attention seeking at it's greatest if you ask me. Bloody annoying.

Noooooo, I thikn OP YABU I think vague status updates are a great way to let off steam and wind up the paranoid. Like the Carly Simon song "tou're so vain, you'll prob'ly think this status update's about yooooooou"...

YANBU it's attention seeking, usually self-pitying nonsense.

I also hate the ominous or veiled threat type status updates usually written by a numpty in text speak e.g. "thoze ppl shud hav nown betta than 2 mess wiv me and my family!!!!!!"

Also shameless self promotion and bragging. I have a friend who'd updates are getting quite embarrassing because she's making herself look like a dick. Things such as "Sick of the snow noe love my orla keily wellies but would rather be wearing my Jimmy Choos"

Then yesterday after she'd been on some work function with the English rugby team listed all their names in her update and how she's got more pissed than all of them. WTF!!

Dh actually shut her up once when she was going on about some meeting with some z lister and he said "yes but what shoes were you wearing?"

OK my vague status update elictied no responses so I obviously know no mumsnetters in real life!

Instead of getting annoyed with them i shall now laugh and think how sad they are.

One girl i was at school with:
OMG! Wot a dik, Nikz noz she aint truztin him agen
Followed by:
Nikz luvz er boy. Luv ya babez

Or

Cousin:
So glad all is better getter now, been hard.

Can't talk about it

WTF

Grrrrrrr

oooh, the pass-agg ones are my favourite. Stuff like "xxxx thinks that if someone should wash their coffee cup up and not leave it for me to do everyday. grrrr"

Someone on mine put

XXX is seriously upset with her husband :0(

Why? dirty washing in public and all that

I've said this on here before but women posting about housework are my favourites. wtf, get a life!!!

I have one friend who posts about how much ironing she has to do nearly every single day. OMG your life is so boring!

"Time to tackle the ironing again, sigh"

OR

"This pile of ironing never seems to get any smaller!"

"Wish I had an ironing fairy"

YAWN....

haha. I've just been and had a look and I've got this as one of the updates this morning:

"xxxx 's ovaries are being literally ripped out by wolverine"

Seriously. What.The.Jeff?

First one on my home page

"XXX can't wait to see a certain person...."

Case in point, thankfully no ones taken the bait and said "who?"

well presumably minx because most people know who the certain person is (I would hazard a good guess at a BF/DP/DH or friend they haven't seen in ages) and they may have posted an earlier status update mentioning who they were going to be seeing.

Just remember you're (probably) not mutual friends with all of your friend's friends. The person posting the status update may not know/care about putting their friends into "lists" so that they can use the padlock to make sure that only "relevant" people see their status updates.

I have put everyone who I am happy to see my status updates into one list, I certainly CBA dividing that list up any further to make sure that only MN friends see about MN status updates, only relatives see about family stuff, only certain friends see about x,y,z.

Life is too short for all of that

oi - now you MNers on my FB behave yourself - that is a genuine update and you know what it's about

I have fun when one of my friends posts some heartrending emo song lyrics as their status.
The trick is to put something as inane, dull, asinine or completely unrelated as possible.
So last time one of them (a guy I am good friends with in RL) posted a whole set of emotionally- charged lines from some song or other I put
My dog smells of biscuits
Then next time he did it I put
I have a cactus shaped like a willy
He has not posted any gushy lyrics since!