Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

Original poster

To be p****d off with my DH?

13 replies

kaffers · 04/03/2010 09:29

My husband works strange hours - evenings and often daytimes too - I'm on maternity leave - 36wks preg. Yesterday he was clearly knackered and in a grump so I said I would get up with our 2.10 yr old this am and he could lie in (we sort of take turns doing it but it's usually me at mo anyway)...so anyway I got up with her when she woke at 6am - but I've had braxton hicks all night and not slept much ...so at 8am with her completely ready for nursery I went to wake him and ask if he wouldn't mind taking her as I feel a bit sh*t..he did get up eventually but then was clearly so annoyed that he starting totally stressing and stressing her out..losing his rag when she made a mess in the bathroom whilst he was having a shower etc etc...so I didn't go back to sleep I just got annoyed and eventually got up again to calm her down....I'm making him sound terrible, and he's really not, but honestly at 36wks preg - don't I get 'top trumps' in the 'who needs looking after more' stakes???...aggghhhh...sorry, rant over....I just don't know how we'll be with 2 if we're like this with 1 DC.

OP posts:

wishingchair · 04/03/2010 09:54

I don't know. I guess my first thought is why you couldn't just take her to nursery and THEN go back to bed. I mean, when DC2 arrives, you will definitely have no sleep and will still have to get DD to nursery. You say he was clearly knackered so I guess I would be a bit pissed off if I was promised a lie in and then didn't really get it.

If you were also going to work then YANBU but since you could get her to nursery and then put feet up, I think on the whole YABU. Sorry!

Original poster

kaffers · 04/03/2010 10:16

Yes you're probably right...oh damn...

OP posts:

issysmilkbottle · 04/03/2010 10:27

it annoys me though, our dH's usually get far more lie ins, do less housework and childcare and when we actually need a break they get all arsey! Arghhhh

I'm with you on this, you are heavily pregnant ffs! I might be biased though today as dh promised me a lie in but i was up with dd (14weeks) from 5:30am, got ds ready to leave for school (aged 10, he cycles) and he is still asleep on sofa as he has a cold... He's off to work at lunchtime so hardly any time with dd today... Last night he went out at 4 -8 so missed dd's bedtime too... Arghhhh

QuestionsAnswered · 04/03/2010 10:49

YANBU

You had given him until 8, so he had a decent sleep. I would expect my DH to want to help.

Original poster

kaffers · 04/03/2010 11:48

Thanks for the replies.
HA HA HA!!!! I feel I have the moral high ground now because he just came to me and said 'I'm so sorry, I don't know why I've been so crap the last couple of days...I'm stressed about work'...

So now I feel better although hoping he's not heading for some mini-melt down.

issymilkbottle - don't get me started on man-colds - that's a whole separate thread

questionanswered - YES I think sleeping til 8 is pretty bloody good - can't remember the last time I did that (our DD is early early riser.

OP posts:

Original poster

kaffers · 04/03/2010 11:50

issymilkbottle - meant to say as well - you NEED to claim that lie in AS SOON as the man-cold has begun to go

OP posts:

mylifemykids · 04/03/2010 11:52

Hmm I think YABU. As wishingchair said you could have just taken her to nursery and THEN gone back to bed. Although I suppose it would also depend on what time he was working yesterday?

Yes you deserve to be looked after BUT you've already got one child, it isn't the same as your first pregnancy unfortunately where you can be pampered because there's nobody more important to think about

ConnorTraceptive · 04/03/2010 12:00

hmm abit on the fence here. I've been pregnant and had a toddler to look after so I know how hard it is. BUT i also have a dh who is very stressed at work and can see how he needs some TLC too. If he's generally a good dh who does his share then give him a break. What you REALLy don't need is a toddler, newborn and dh that's stressed to the max! Been there, tis no fun for anyone!

Rindercella · 04/03/2010 12:01

I think it probably would've been better for you just to have taken DD to nursery tbh, and then gone back to bed. You were already up, so could've avoided an even more grumpy DH by doing this.

However, I do totally get where you're coming from. I am currently 37 weeks pregnant, have had at least one cold/ear or chest or throat infection/whatever nasty bug is doing the rounds a week since November, have anaemia, get v bad heartburn which keeps me up most of the night, if that doesn't wake me up, then the leg cramps do...etc. Also do the vast majority of care for 2.6 yo DD and DH had the audacity to stay in bed for 3 days because of his man flu cold - it was sooo bad, his temperature rose to a giddy 37.8 degrees Was not bloody happy, I can tell you.

Go back to bed whilst your DD is at nursery and make the most of it!

Original poster

kaffers · 04/03/2010 12:04

Yes mylifewithkids - you have a point, and usually that would be my approach but on account of the Braxton Hicks all night - which I thought might be the real thing but have since stopped that I was not being too out of order. What if I'd been in labour???? Should I still have been the one to take her to nursery? Anyway I'm not so there we go.

OP posts:

mylifemykids · 04/03/2010 12:26

'should I still have been the one to take her to nursery' Yes if they weren't regular contractions. Been there done that, as have a lot of friends. Although one of them had her waters break on the school playground

I do sympathise honestly, those last few weeks are awful when you just want to lie under a duvet until the baby arrives! If only we could

AgentZigzag · 04/03/2010 13:00

Pregnancy hormones, tiredness and work stress is a pretty potent mix, it's no surprise it sparked you off.

Your DH saying he was sorry is lovely, mine's the same thankfully, there's nothing worse than a big sulker who wont back down, I couldn't be doing with it.

Hope everything goes well in your last few weeks, I lived those weeks not long back and they seemed an eternity. TBH I find having the baby to look after easier than being hugely preg, at least I can get up off the setee

Original poster

kaffers · 04/03/2010 16:35

Yes - you're all right - I'm just in such a flipping bad mood - feel like a fish out of water not being at work, in limbo waiting for baby and just so tired from normal childcare (daughter not at nursery very much - only 3 hours on 3 morns and not a good sleeper).....but yes I should just get on with it and as you point out agentzigzag his apology was very generous really.....thanks for the responses - just find a bit of rant so therapeutic at the moment - hormones are making me crazy - full of joy one moment and just homicidal the next - BRING ON THE LABOUR!!!!!!!!!

OP posts:

Flip