I think I'm turning into a Mumsnet snob

[PirateJelly]

My best friend was telling me about a really good book she had bought the other day to help her with her DD, she told me it was a NetMums guide to parenting, I pretended to listen but straight away I switched off as she was telling me what it said.

Today at baby group another mum complimented me on my wide knowledge regarding baby rearing and asked me what book I was reading, I said I learned everything I knew from a parenting website. She politely asked me if it was it was Babyworld, and I actually snorted at her and said no it's Mumsnet like that should explain it all, and what a stupid question to ask

The other day a friend asked if DS wanted a fruitshoot (hes only 10 months by the way) and I said in a snobby voice no we don't touch fruitshoots!

There are many more examples like this.
I don't know where this attitude has come from but I'm becoming aware that I am far more judgemental of other peoples parenting (if it's un mumsent like) and very judging of their parenting forum choices and actually try to convert them. Is this a bad thing? I know for a fact I wasn't like this before I joined mumsnet many moons ago, I feel like it has changed my whole mindset.

You need to get out more

I've actually got less judgey since I started mning a few years back.

So, just for the record, and being serious, can someone give me a list of things MNers are for and against? Just so I can see if i have joined the judgey club or not!!

I do hope this is a tease.

Ugh, I am the opposite, I would NEVER tell anyone I go on Mumsnet, most of the people I know would snort at me, as you put it.

YANBU

My DH says I'm like this now

Although I disagree - I have always Judged.

hahaha..well I do tend to think..'ooh what would MNers say?' when I take DDs for a Maccy Ds or let them munch on a Greggs doughnut..feels a bit wicked ..but then I've always been a rebel

Oh dear. Is it really that easy to become brainwashed by a parenting site? SCARY STUFF.

Blimey - I never give this site a second thought when I am not on here. As for judging other parents I don't. I bring my children up how "I" see fit and allow others to do the same.

WHY do you think you have become so judgemental of others?

This site amuses me alot (mainly when I am at work!!) but the cliquey snobby thing annoys me. TBH honest I dont tell people in RL i come on here as its will look a bit saddo!

Genral themes I have seen are:
Quite left wing
Pro BF
Pro Natural birth
a tad precious about nutrition
bitchily scathing about other parenting websites (not sure why!)

but I love the honesty and that people will say it as it is

I 100% agree with whoever said that reading MN has made them much less judgemental.

I suppose your summary is right, Porca... most Internet Community sites are bitch-flame fests. I don't know why MN gets picked on for it (especially in the media, maybe this is part of the backlash arising from the designation the 'The Mumsnet Election'?). You should see the cattiness and hot-headed debates that come up on Money-Saving-Expert or just about anywhere else. In fact, parenting sites are relatively much nicer online communities than average, imho.

The honesty here is nice; sometimes I hang on Mothering.com because you can be just about anybody you want to be there; they strongly discourage debate. But it really galls me when somebody on MDC says something totally daft and nobody challenges it!! (ie, "disease is not caused by bacteria or viruses", or "Unassisted VBAC in the remote wilds of Alaska is safer than ever putting your child in a Forward-facing carseat for even 5 minutes", etc.)

YANBU I think MN has a huge pool of people some of whom are excellent at presenting their POV which has coloured my views and the way I look at a lot of things. I have learnt such a lot from being on here but I also realise that I have developed a way of being that I am not so happy with. Which I will try to explain

My problem is that I have threshed out so many topics on here, reading hundreds of opinions and arguments and gradually deciding on my own POV, that when someone asks me something in RL, rather than starting to have a conversation I just say "well it's this" and leave it at that. It's almost as if I have already had many conversations, even though I haven't actually in RL with a real person IYSWIM. This is not good.

I also have to make statements like "anecdotally, people say x" and so on, as I can't bring myself to say "well the general consensus on MN is x", even though it's a useful consensus to use, consisting as it does of the experience of hundreds or thousands of women IYSWIM.

I do think I need to get out more

I have become a mixture of more and less judgy. Less because you get to see alot more on MN than you would in RL - so the parent losing their temper at a screaming child in Tesco I don't judge because I have read the stories on here 'from' the parent etc. OTOH, fruitshoots, sausage rolls, baby girl head bands, weirdy 'trendy' names = open season

I love MN, and although there is a generally accepted 'MN likes x' as in porcamiseria's summary there are sooooo many people with so many different opinions and experiences that I think it definitely widens my horizons.

Oh, and would never tell people I go on MN, at least not until I actually have children

Hell no, I don't want anyone knowing I am on Mumsnet. They might figure out who I am!

I enjoy Mumsnet but disagree with heaps of what seems to be "accepted practice" here.

Ooh hello justa

Hope you're all keeping well

I am less judgy. But more conscious of the things that other people will judge. I find that the more I hear judgement on MN the more laissez-faire I get. Just to be bloody awkward.

MN has made me less judgemental of myself. I used to be quite strict about nutrition & parenting 5+ years ago.

Threads about people tying themselves in knots over a sausage roll, school run make-up or strangers approaching their pram have helped remind me that life is too short to worry about such things.

I've learned a lot about all kinds of disorders and disabilities, too. Thought I was well-informed before, but nowadays I am a lot less likely to judge the parent of a tantrumming child in the sweetie aisle.

Of course this could also be a natural result of settling into parenthood as I approach the end of my first decade in the role.

"I also have to make statements like "anecdotally, people say x" and so on, as I can't bring myself to say "well the general consensus on MN is x", even though it's a useful consensus to use, consisting as it does of the experience of hundreds or thousands of women IYSWIM."

Me too! And 'I know someone who....' when what I really mean is 'I read someone on MN who....'

I dont think you are a snob, we get information from a variety of sources, and who else is better than a website for mummies, who have been through/going through similar situation/experiences.

Id rather have my wealth of knowledge that has been invaluable to us ALL at times, than read a book from someone who is not a mummy, or has been a mummy for 3 weeks and think she knows better than everyone, as she is in the public eye

The only thing I've got judgy about from being on MN is judginess! It may help that DS was already much older by the time I came on here, but I do think there can be a lot of pressure to conform, because if lots of people say X then its easy to doubt your own opinion that Y is ok too. MN is great in many ways, as it gives you immediate access to lots of people who have "been there", but there is an "orthodoxy" quite often. Of course there's also lots of people who disagree with orthodoxy, but they can be a bit invisible at times.

People don't talk to me in RL about parenting forums, because I don't think it gets mentioned much once you're past the baby/toddler stage quite the same. But I have mentioned to a couple of people who still were at that stage that there are lots of forums and they should look around to see which one suits them.

Just because MN suits me doesn't mean I think it would suit everyone - and I'd sooner they looked round and decided that and then went to another forum if they feel that way, rather than stay here posting about how awful it is here!

And I don't mean there's anything wrong with not liking MN but preferring another forum. Horses for courses!

I agree - I'msonot and Frakkin!

Frakkin - you'll like this - my English midwife who took my ante-natal classes asked me if I worked in childcare as I was so much better informed than the other French ladies on BF/parenting techniques etc. [smug teacher's pet emoticon]

I'm a saddo, I know.

I agree wholeheartedly with Imsonottelling!

Fortunately I still have the French versus English upbringing/education models to thrash out, and although I think I am quite knowledgeable, it is a HUGE topic so not ever quite covered IMO.

frakkin - we are in full interview mode with THAT school and we are very disappointed so far! Not sure we will take up a place if we are offered it.

your attitude is typical of Born Again Mumsnetters. People who started off vaguely mumsnettish in a cultural way, then lost their way a bit, but then Found It again, lived through the dark days of Mouldies and Daily Mail persecution, and now cannot stop proselitising and preaching loudly about it.

Nothing a stiff fruitshoot drink won't fix!