Computer Games played by 10 year old son

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Is it just my sons friend's parents or are all parents of 10 year old's letting them play 16 rated and 18 rated Computer Games like COD4 and Modern Warfare?

My 10yo DD doesn't even get to play 12 rated games. YANBU IMHO.

My 10 year old DS nagged the life out of me before I bought grand theft auto because all his friends have it - I hadn't realised it was full of prostitutes and swearing before my 6 year old was playing it, but he says his friends play it too. I never know what to do for the best because everyone else seems to be more lenient with their kids and it makes me feel guilty so I give in, against my better judgement sometimes x

Don't get me started on this

DS (now 11) came home and said "but all my friends play it". Yeah right, thought I, until I looked into it and yes, all his friends were playing it (and the 18 version too )

I have caved and let him have the 16 one but of course, he's badgering for the 18 one so he can play with/against his friends. I was also very to discover that he had been playing the 18 version at friends' houses with the parents' approval (but without the parents seeking my approval).

Things have come to a pretty pass where you are the freak if you don't play an 18 game aged 10 tbh

No of course they're not. Just like ALL of my dd1's parents aren't buying their precious babies laptops, i-pods etc etc. Some will be. Some won't. But I will stick to what I think is right and she won't get them!

I hate that 'everybody else's parents' line and have no intention of changing my viewpoint even if the whole bloomin' world lets their children stay up until midnight, eat chips every day, watch Saw films, play Buxom Blondes With Machine Guns on the PS until midnight and go to nightclubs.

My house. My rules!

But WHY do you give in if you disagree with it? Sorry but I don't get that.

My DH makes games for a living. Our children only play age appropriate games. DS1 is 9, and has even told off other peoples children for playing games they weren't old enough for

Because sometimes you have to appreciate that your kids are suffering because your parenting is out of step with everyone else's. If I could point to x and y and say "see, they don't have that game" then I certainly would do, but out of a group of about 10 boys, all of them bar ds had it.

As an aside, ds is also the only one out of his friends who doesn't have an older sibling which may also feature in the reasons why they all have it.

SUFFERING? Sorry, I don't buy that. Children are suffering because they are being exposed to stuff they have no business being anywhere near!

ChickensHaveSinisterMotives.....LOL love the name

I only wanted to post that but my 10yr old DD plays age appropiate games and my DP will not play his games until she has gone to be bed or is not in the house....BUT when my DP is online playing COD or GTA he hears young kids swearing and its awful to hear .....it just doesnt sit right.

MaryBS, I completely agree with you and I know that makes me a hypocrite. I'm not proud of it at all. Maybe everyone would be stronger than me and see their child being excluded from things because of a stance I've taken. FWIW, I have explained my objections to DS and have severely limited the amount of time he is allowed to play on it. Not great I know.

This is where I get horrendously judgy with other parents and I am no Jules Oliver. I often parked ds in his baby chair in front of tellytubbies. This however is something else. I will never yield on th 18 rated comp games my ds is 10 and his friends are allowed GTA and Left for dead a graphic fleSh eating zombie game I have googled them.
It is a weird kind of laziness and a keeping up with the Jones's attitude which seems to transcend all classes it is a form of child abuse too. I dont understand it, you do not have to give in so your child will be equal to his peers

Did you guys see the supernanny extreme parenting episode on this?? Very interesting.

But what do you do if you are so completely out of step with every other parent? If there was one other parent in DS's group of friends, it would be so much easier to make a stand.

Again, FWIW, I have taken a stance against Facebook, Bebo, MSN, mobiles with cameras and internet access etc etc I really wasn't expecting to have to deal with any of this stuff until Y8 at least .

And yes, I have been swayed I suppose by meeting the perfectly charming older brothers of DS's friends and seeing that they haven't turned into gun-toting serial killers by playing this particular game.

I agree with the principle of not letting him play the games and we have just the one 16 game he is allowed and there will be no more but as he himself has said why not if u let me play the one I am allowed (COD 4 rated 16). As flashharriet says it does seem to be a fact that all his friends parents are permitting this but they do mostly have older siblings, of course it is a question whether the parents actually have a clue what games their kids are playing in suc circumstances as there will undoubtedly be older rated games in the house.

Has anyone tried speaking to the parents who do allow it, I am too much of a chicken and don't want to make things awkward between us.

ds1 is 10 (only just). He's got a couple of games that are 12. But there alot of games that I would no way let him play. I've not seen the games you (op) mention but his friend lent him Assasin, or something like that, and I made him give it back. I also won't let him play GTA.

I seem to be in the minority of my friends/ ds's friends parents in being strict about what he plays but I would't let him watch films with high violence/ drugs/ sex contect in them so why on earth would I let him play games where he's acting out this.

context.

I am gradually coming to the conclusion that yes, most of the parents around here do let their young boys - aged 8 or 9 - play games like COD and so on. I've heard several comment to me that they're not happy about it. But they still allow it.

It doesn't change my opinions or the rules in this house. dss (11 and 13) are not allowed to play computer games which are older rating than their actual age. And I have told them we will never have COD or similarly violent shoot-em-up games in my house. I'm not sure whether I will stick with that or not.

It is hard if you feel isolated in your parenting decisions, but in some ways my boys quite "like" having the get-out clause of "We're not allowed to have that/do that because I've got the meanest stinkiest mum in the world."

Dont even get me started on this. I was visiting someone (work) in their home the other day, and mum happily sat and chatted to me while DS (5) played on playstation - noticing that the game was particularly bloodthirsty, I asked what he was playing -Call of Duty she says says I - isnt he a bit young for that? mum replies - its the only way I get any peace in the holidays........

I'm sorry but I totally, totally fail to understand why anybody would 'give in' on seeing their child 'suffer' for this. My children don't get the expensive trips to New York and goodness only knows where that some of their friends get - are they therefore 'suffering' for this?

These games have ratings for a reason. We, as parents, have an obligation to our children to protect them.

I'm sorry but I remain absolutely horrified at the idea of anybody allowing their children to have games like Grand Theft Auto etc. What are they being exposed to in games like this and how on earth could that ever be considered okay?

My parents used to say, "If everybody else jumped off a cliff, would you want to follow?" and that is the view I stand by now. I don't give a flying fig if everybody else has it - If I don't approve of it, they don't get it.

To do otherwise and to give in is pandering and lazy imho.

flashharriet you have to make a stand the other parents are TOSSERS it does not matter how "nice" they are. Would you give your kid 10 qid to go to the movies to see a horror flick rated 18 no I thought so . These games d-sensize young growing brains and I am no precious parent. I did challenge one mum and she laughed, she is well educated middle class but her son has deep rings under his eyes as he is addicted to Grand Theft. Ohh he called his mum a "crack whore" and wont be invited around happy to say ds is relieved. Stand firm FGS

Frankly, I couldn't care less about being out of step with other parents, I do what's right for my kids and if they think I'm a meanie, then tough. Having said that, this particular issue isn't an problem for us as we have girls, who are perfectly happy playing girly computer games.

However, I do get fed up of people who defend the existence of this stuff by saying, "If you don't like it, don't buy it/switch it off/just tell your kids no." When your kids are at other people's houses they can get exposed to all sorts of stuff you wouldn't let them have.

Who exactly benefits from the existence of these games? Are they really necessary?

Having a Dad with the coolest job in the world goes a long way for my DS If any of the other kids start playing the one upmanship 'I'm allowed to play 18's' game, DS can just nonchalantly throw in 'Yeah, well my Dad made X'. Job done

I can only control the games they play in my house...so no games rated older than they are.

When it comes to other peoples houses I have no control and have to trust my kids that they know these games are for older age groups and hope that their short exposure will cause no long lasting problems.

They do tell me they play the older games at friends houses and seem quite happy to accept my rules for home as they get to play the games elsewhere (all bit it infrequently) but at least they know what their friends are on about.

I suppose this is my compromise...age related at home...but accept and discuss the fun of playing older games outside the home.